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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Message from the Universe?

So we all know Miranda is not very good at resisting urges.  But one urge I have been very good at resisting is seeing Sawyer in person (cue dramatic music).  Thankfully, I’ve been able to hold very strong on that since last fall outside of the odd times we run into each other in public settings.

He found out via the kids that Coach and I had broken up and he started emailing me the odd message now and again.  And of course, he started flirting heavily and asking me to meet up with him.  He even pulled out the tactic of challenging me just to kiss him and see if I could resist.

The thing is I know if I was stupid enough to agree to that challenge I would totally cave and it’d be on like Donkey Kong.  Aside from the horrific mental ramifications of being involved with him again along with the bad bad relationship karma of being involved with a married guy, I know the sex totally wouldn’t live up to my memories.  The affair made things so hot and intense and because I’d only been with Duckie for so long, Sawyer seemed like the shit in bed.

The reality is – after my intensive research the last year lol – he’s just not.  He’s good in bed but not amazing.  Though he can dirty talk like nobody’s business.  And frankly, his junk is just not that big.  But he does know what to do with it to be fair.

Regardless, today he was literally begging me via email for a picture of my Hawaii tan.  I sent him a totally G rated one of me on the beach but he continued begging and said he wanted one like the one I accidentally sent him eons ago.  I told him I had deleted his number from my phone after that and he promptly emailed me his number again. 

I was feeling particularly devious so I snapped a quick one just of the top of my tan line along my bra and sent it to him.  No response.  A few minutes later, I wondered what that was about and I looked at my phone.  Horrifyingly funny but I had entered his number wrong.  Yep, somewhere out there someone got a surprise picture of my boobs.  I almost wish they had responded just to make the story even better. Somehow I feel like the picture getting sent to the wrong number was a message from the universe.

I did correct the number and resent it.  Of course, he loved it.  I was telling Jules and Gwyn about this funny event and Jules asked if I was going to start seeing Sawyer again.  That’s an emphatic no there friends.  I have no intention of seeing him again though the temptation is great.  The key for me is keeping distance though.  As long as he and I don’t see each other when we’re alone it’s all good.  Miranda can be strong.  But if I caved or even happened upon each other when we were both alone, well I’m not so sure my defenses could stand the Sawyer onslaught.

My new job is less than 10 minutes away from where Sawyer works.  I’m going to have to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on doctor dating alone to keep myself out of harm’s way.  He doesn’t go out to lunch much so the chances of us running into each other are slim but you never know. 

Why are there some people that your connection to is so strong and others you can walk away from without even a second glance?

Miranda

PS – My sister is really trying to convince me to buy this house they own in my old neighborhood where Duckie and Sawyer both still live.  It’s a cute house and an awesome price.  Plus in a weird way I think it would be good for the kids.  It’s not on the same street but it’s just around the corner from our old house.  How weird and messed up would it be if I ended up back in my old neighborhood?  I’d need a Sawyer proof chastity belt.

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