Mainland Blues

Well Miranda’s back on the mainland.  Boo hoo.  I’m feeling oddly introspective today which I guess shouldn’t surprise me since with all the changes but it has caught me off guard none the less.

Hawaii was amazing. I just love it there. Even beyond the fact that Jules and Gwyn are there, I just feel such an overwhelming sense of peace there.  Coming home was hard.  Really hard.  Much harder than I expected.  Saying bye to Gwyn and Jules was much harder than I expected.

It was a whole dramatic scene in the airport lol.  I was half drunk from the Zombies we drank at dinner, sobbing walking through the airport.  Then I popped half an Ambien and was extra loopy which at least settled down the crying and led to some very funny texts I sent to the girls and Russell.

Last night I was really too worn out to do much beyond unpack and lay on the couch watching poor TV.  My friend D called me and begged for me to come out with her. I actually entertained the idea for half a moment but I was physically too tired.  Late College Crush called me. We chatted for a few moments and in my tiredness I told him he was a gimp who was afraid of commitment. That led to a very funny conversation that ended with him saying he wished he lived here so I could be his girlfriend. As if!

Coach has been texting me some.  He had his back surgery and is here in town for at least the next month or two. I don’t like it.  Especially being tired and introspective.   It feels dangerous for him to be in town even if he is physically laid up at his parents and not out and about.  It’s only a matter of time before I run into him face to face.   I feel like an addict who’s being forced to be in close proximity to her drug of choice.  I texted him back some but not much.  I’m trying to keep him at arms length.

The Ginger and I had talked about doing something today but now he’s refereeing this afternoon so I don’t know that we’ll see each other or not.  In my current frame of mind I couldn’t care less either way.  Even McKing popped up and texted me last night for a while.  I’m feeling very “meh” about all these boys and I really want to meet someone who makes me feel excited and swoony.  If I could just somehow combine McKing and the Ginger that very well may turn out to be the perfect man for me.  Right now I really miss having a boyfriend.

Aside from my “meh-ness” I did get awesome great news my last day in Hawaii. I got the job I’d been wanting! It’s doing the same type of communications work but at a local hospital.  This could be my toehold into becoming a nurse one day before too much longer.  I’m excited and nervous about it.  It’s always scary to start over in a new field.  But it will be a great move for me and just think – I will be around doctors all day lol. I could be dating a doctor Gwyn! HAHA!

A very funky feeling Miranda