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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ultimatums and Universe Thwarting

It's been a crazy few days in Jules' world, not crazy good either. I'm really pissed at Gavin...like super pissed at him. Sunday night, we hung out and ate dinner and had a great time. It was fun and he was funny. The rest of the week, not so much.

Monday night he was at my house acting like the total drug seeking addict that he is and was doing so in front of Gwyn, Russell, and more importantly Chloe. WTF? I wasn't home, but when I got home he had just left and had hung up on me because I refused to give him $40. It was insane. He called me about 1 hour or 2 later and asked if he could come over. I asked why he'd left 10 minutes before I got home if he just wanted to come back. He said he'd had to take some weed to a friend and was ready to come back over. I'm leaving out chunks of the story, but it would just be too long...so this is the Reader's Digest version. On the way over, he called back to ask me to put on the strappy black dress and to be on the bed. He came in and started licking my kitty immediately. For some reason, he craves that when he's high. I didn't realize how high he was at the time and enjoyed this activity. We played around more and I blew him and we fucked and then his substance use became a problem when he wanted to do more right when I was ready to go to sleep, you know because I have a JOB and all. I spent 45 minutes arguing with him and throwing him out. He called once he got home and apologized, but I didn't really accept it.

Tuesday I didn't hear a peep until after dinner. We had company and I didn't want to answer my phone (which rang 4 times in 30 minutes). So, he comes over and just makes himself at home like nothing to it. I expressed my displeasure, but I was drunk and just kind of went with it. I was seething though and after everyone left I hung out with Gwyn some before going into my room to go to bed so that I wouldn't kill him. When I got into my room, I noticed almost immediately that he was fucked up again. I was PISSED. I think I actually hit him on the arm a few times and then settled onto my bed and told him how fucking pissed I was. We argued some and then he started fucking me with my toys and I came like he's never, ever made me before. It was amazing. We had sex after he finished with me and the toys and then he went back at it with the toys again and then I gave him a hand job. It was really great sex, but angry sex on my part. I was really mad, but drunk and when he left is kind of a blur. I saw in my phone that he must have called once he got home and it looked like I answered the call but briefly.

So, today he comes over to my house in the middle of the afternoon. I'm never home during that time and Gwyn and I were watching an episode of Mad Men (which we are all 3 obsessed with) and I was doing some stuff before leaving for class. He came in all chipper and started talking to me like nothing was going on. Once he figured out I was still pissed and I told him we needed to talk, he practically ran out of the door. He said he had to go and just stopped by, but didn't expect anyone to be here. Um, then why would you come over??? Weirdo...

He called me later and left a voice mail that said it sounded like I was over him. When I tried to call him back, he made some excuse about really wanting to talk to me but that he was busy and would call me back. I actually called him on the way home from school, but he didn't answer. He called back once I got home and I was watching Mad Men and let it go. I finally called him back just now and he said "Well, you knew the job when you took it" regarding his use and recent behaviors. I told him that if that was the case, I didn't want the job anymore. I told him that I love hanging out with him when he's not using but that using in my house will not be tolerated. I told him I felt totally disrespected and that he had absolutely no regard for me or my situation or he wouldn't put me in this situation. He said he didn't want to be controlled. I told him I'm not controlling him, but I will control what happens in my house. Then I did it...I gave him the ultimatum. I told him that he needs to decide whether hanging out with me is more important than using. He apologized and said he totally understood what I was saying, but at the end of the day I think his using is far more important and his days here with me are limited.  He's gotten me to the point where I'm a gnat's ass away from being over it, so we'll see what time brings.

In funny universe thwarting, I was supposed to see Owen this morning. I thought Gwyn was home so I told him I couldn't have him over and he'd driven the kids to school in his wife's car, so we couldn't meet out in his van. I didn't have time to meet out at our beach spot, so we are going to try for tomorrow afternoon between work and my picking up Chloe. The house will be free and I'm hoping we work out the timing. The funny part of this story is that as soon as I gave up on seeing him and left my bedroom, I noticed Gwyn was in fact not home. She'd driven Russell to work and we totally could have had the house to ourselves. Ooops! Oh well, tomorrow will be better anyway because I won't be rushed as much as I would have been this morning and I can have it the way I love it...long and hard. ;)
-Jules

3 comments:

  1. You do realize that Gavin's figured out he can distract you with sex right? Every time in the last few days you were rightfully and legitimately mad and wanted to have it out with him he got you off lol. Thus distracting you and getting a stay of execution for himself.

    Ultimatums never work but they are a definitely a sign of things to come. Sorry Gavin's being such a douche!

    Miranda

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  2. You know I have been Team Gavin since the beginning..BUT I joined that team long before I knew he had substance issues. If he is no longer contributing to your happiness, he needs to go.
    I also agree with Miranda, ultimatums almost always backfire, and you have got to stop having sex with the man when you are mad at him! lol
    Good Luck
    Josie

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  3. I'm a firm believer in that ultimatums never work but I decided that putting his behavior back on him was preferable to me just ending it right now. I'm trying to give him an opportunity to turn this around. He has before. I didn't blog about it, but we've been down this path on a very similar issue once before and he got it together once I told him he was at my proverbial line in the sand. He's never crossed it again on that issue either.
    And yes, he knows making me cum distracts me. I can have sex with someone though and still be pissed.
    -Jules

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