Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Reeling in a Grown Up


I seem to have a lunch date with an actual grown up today. The Grown up is 38, 6’3, brown hair with just a touch of gray, brown eyes, mortgage broker, has a place of his own, college educated, no kids, no ex wives, grew up in this area, and is close to his family. No apparent weird hobbies or past times. We even talked on the phone for an hour last night and never ran out of things to say. He hasn’t crossed any lines saying anything inappropriate or suggestive in the least and he also hasn’t gone overboard making me think he’s in love already. The girls at my office ruled him as cute but I think he’s one of those people that could go either way in person. Either you find them more attractive or less attractive. Have I found a chupabracabra?

The jury is still out. He’s definitely not a chupabracabra – which would be the total package. He’s got the brains, the conversation, the manners, all the accoutrements that grown ups should have but honestly, I’m just not sure that we have physical chemistry. Alright I’m just gonna say it, I’m not sure the Grown Up is good looking enough for me. If we were on that website “whoissettling.com”, I’d be the clear winner. God that makes me feel shallow.

He’s attractive in a fluffy teddy bear kind of way. The kind of guy I can see my boss liking, even though she’s just three years older than me. But I just don’t know. I feel very on the fence about it. I told Jules usually when I’m on a date and I can judge how attracted to the guy I am by how much I keep looking at their mouth and wondering to myself when we’ll get to kiss. With the Grown Up, I was more looking at him in general and wondering what it would be like to kiss him period. A very subtle difference but a difference I noted none the less.

We had lunch and talked nonstop for two hours. We have a lot of similar views and opinions. Our families sound very much the same. Again he didn’t say or do anything inappropriate though he did cuss a few times and generally I avoid that on a first date. He didn’t reveal inappropriate information or make me question his intentions. The Grown Up did crack me up big time though because right when we sat down he kept staring at me and shaking his head. I finally had to ask why he was doing that because it was making me self conscious and he said he’s met a few other girls from Plenty of Fish and I’m the first one who actually looked like her pictures. He said all the others have looked much older and/or heavier. I laughed because that’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Apparently guys lie about their height on there and the girls use old pictures.

I do think the Grown Up is so used to being on his own that he’s probably pretty set in his ways and who knows how open he’d be to Miranda coming in and shaking things up. I can definitely tell I lead a more spontaneous and livelier life than him if that makes sense. Like I know he likes to go out and listen to bands but I seriously doubt he has the wild adventures that I seem to find myself having (but then again who does really?). But maybe that just comes to down to me feeling like I act younger than 35 and I think he probably acts older than 38. Like from what I know so far, he seems to act like what I imagined 38 would be like when I was in my early 20s. Does that make any sense?

From what I know thus far, the Grown up is not a fixer upper (well maybe in a physical sense but not any other way). The Grown Up feels like the “responsible” choice to date. The person I should continue to see to find out if I can break my pattern of poor dating choices. He’s got his life together by and large and really he’s the overall type of person I should be dating if I’m ready for a more serious relationship. But maybe I’m not as ready for that as I thought I was. At any rate he earned a second date and merits further examination.



  1. whoissettling.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAA!!!!!!!

  2. I'd go with your gut - if the chemistry wasn't there it likely won't come later. Seems like a nice guy but probably not worth pursuing. Look at it as a "practice date" and move on, I say.

  3. It's all about the chemistry.

    Sounds to me like he gets a second date because of the things he didn't do, not because you can't wait to see him again.

    But then what do I know, I've made some terrible choices when it comes to men. I may be sort-of a grown up, but I still can't resist a bad boy.

  4. Yall are all right. You can't force the physical chemistry. Affection and intellectual chemistry can develop over time but I've yet to hear about physical chemistry coming up like that. Alas, I cut the Grown Up free today. Jethro has stolen all my attention and damn it if he's not giving me some long missing hope.