Sunday, December 18, 2011

Aloha, Adios, Good Bye

I am super pleased (strike that to read giddy) to report that Gavin is leaving the island. I repeat, Gavin is leaving MY island. Throw me off the island? I don't think so...bitch. Bwahahaha! 

Damien told me today that he ran into Gavin yesterday at the boat harbor. Gwyn and I had just passed Gavin as he was driving there and while they were apparently having a convo, she and I were on a run and I was lamenting how I don't hate him or wish him dead, but I really wish he would just move. It seems the universe heard me. According to Damien, Gavin told him yesterday that he's leaving on January 16th, already has a reservation, and his truck is for sale!! I started to ask several questions about where he's moving and what about his son and why would he leave in the middle of surf season, but then I stopped myself each and every time and realized I didn't really care to know any of the answers! 

Damien also reported that he was with that guy that called me a couple of times and Gavin really was just passing my phone number along to the guy b/c he thought I was fun and wanted to hook his buddy up. Um, ok but no thanks...first of all, I'm capable to finding my own fun and second of all, I want nothing to do with his friends b/c I'd lay money on them being addicts too. 

In other news, Damien has resumed telling me he loves me. It started last week in an email that read "I was looking for someone to build a happy life with.....w/ex gf's blessing. But that's not where you were at.....you were really looking for the hookup and recreation....which is cool......but at first I was really hoping you'd be the one for me. being your friend was the healthiest way to wait and see what you'd do. And you did my friend. That was cool you weren't ready obviously....so friends it was......then Russell  and you hit the apex and after it all you told me to not love you ....even in the carnation of friends.....and so I said all that stuff to you and backed off for a year and a half.
Look, I love you, was falling in love with you, and you showed me what loving you was like......I still love you. But there were so many obstacles on both side to anything beyond friends. And you told me not to love you period. (Insert more random stuff about his ex) In any case ...still loving you! So how come you didn't choose me? and chose my friend instead?". 

This was totally unprompted by anything we'd been talking about and frankly caught me a little off guard. I replied that at the time things were different. Gavin didn't have a gf and he did and I don't share well, blah blah. Really, I like Damien a lot but I'm not attracted to him and we have very different beliefs regarding women and religion and such. It would be a wild and crazy ride that wouldn't end well. I basically told him that he's someone I want to keep in my life and I'm not complicating or fucking that up with sex and a romantic relationship. He seemed appeased with that answer, but he's told me twice more in person that he loves me. I want him to remember what he mentioned here about all of the obstacles. I've started working out with him again three days a week and that's going really well, so I hope he backs off this loving me thing some. Plus, he has a gf again! 

Anyway, I'm trying not to get too excited about Gavin moving until he's gone and I know it's a done deal, but good lord it feels awesome knowing it's a possibility and I'll quit seeing him around. I saw him on the way home tonight driving and thought this won't happen again in a month!!! :) 

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