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Friday, July 15, 2011

There's a Thin Line...

...between a secret admirer and a stalker, and the Chinless Wonder has officially crossed that line.

If you link back to my original post on this guy you will see that he has been trying to get me to go out with him, often under the guise of 'just as friends', for a good 6-8 months. In fact, Miranda and I also established that he tried to talk to me on POF (before he ever worked here) and I suggested the possibility of him getting a job at my workplace for no other reason than to insert himself in my life. It sounded like a crazy notion at the time but now I'm not so sure I was wrong.

Well, I've been deflecting his advances steadily from the start. He's asked me to dinner, rollerblading, movies, lunch, walk in the park...he kept trying to convince me that he doesn't have any "active friends" and he just wants somebody to do "active things" with. Most of the time I would gently put him off and tell him I'd think about it or tell him I was too busy this week maybe another time. Normally, this is not my style - I don't beat around the bush or spare feelings and I will tell a guy straight up if I'm not interested. But this particular situation was made more complicated by the fact that Chinless Wonder is the IT guy at my job. As any of you who use a computer at work know, having an 'in' with the IT department can make your life so much simpler, especially when you work for a nonprofit on an old ass computer in a building with crappy internet connection and your job involves sitting at your desk researching and writing on the computer 8 hours a day every day and you often use your work computer for non-work related activities such as blogging and shopping.....you get the point.

About a 3 weeks ago, he started up again asking me to go rollerblading. I guess I was just beat down that particular day (or was trying to get him to stop nagging me every 5 seconds about it) and I told him that I would consider going with him when I returned from my beach trip the following weekend. I also specifically stated that if I said yes it would be strictly as friends to which he replied "Who said I wanted anything more than friends?" Yeah, sure. Like you can't find anyone else in the entire world to go rollerblading with. Give me a break. Anyways, I digress. So I left it at that and headed off to the beach with my girls. That was Thursday.

On the following Sunday morning, I was at the beach sitting on my friend's porch drinking coffee and trying to remember why I thought 5 margaritas, 2 shots and 2 vodka drinks was a good idea the night before going out on a boat in the 105 degree weather. I got on Facebook on my phone and saw I had 2 messages in my inbox. I opened it up and saw they were both from Chinless Wonder. The first read, "Got tan titties yet?" and the next (sent 1 minute later) read, "Yes I just said that lol ;)". They were sent at about 10:30pm the night before. It took me all of 2 seconds to decide how to handle it and with that he was un-friended and blocked entirely from my profile on FB.

I texted Miranda to get her take on the situation and she agreed that I was correct in feeling offended and that is was completely inappropriate for him to talk to me like that. Chinless Wonder had made a few other mildly inappropriate comments on some of my FB statuses that I tried to dismiss as harmless but after the tittie comment I had to draw the line.

I got back to work the following week and the first day I was back I got an IM from Chinless Wonder that said "Rollerblade ;)". I ignored it. We have an internal IM system at work that I am automatically logged into (that has since been fixed lol) so that gave him another avenue to communicate with me. After ignoring a few more IMs I hoped he would get the picture and leave me alone. Apparently stalkers aren't good at taking hints.

The Friday before July 4th I was in the office by myself. I work in a building across the street from Chinless Wonder and he can see when my car is the only one in the parking lot in front of my building. I was busy typing away and next thing I know he is standing in the doorway of my office. I instantly felt uncomfortable. He said "So, how was the beach? Did you have fun?" I didn't take my eyes off my computer screen and muttered "Yes, it was nice" and continued doing what I was doing. He stood there for another few seconds and then told me that he was going to the beach the week of the 4th and how he couldn't find anyone to go with him blah blah blah blah you're a crazy stalker blah blah. I didn't respond at all and didn't look at him and after about 3-4 minutes he left. I couldn't believe that he 1) had the balls to try to talk to me after he knew I blocked him on FB and was ignoring his IMs and 2) that of all the things to bring up he asks me about the very beach trip that he so rudely interrupted with his titty comment. I guess he hoped I'd say something about his message and he could explain how it was just a joke but he's got the wrong girl. After he left I decided I had to take some more serious action to deter his behavior because it was starting to freak me out.

I went and talked to my boss about it, which was one of the funniest conversations we've ever had, and he told me he would talk to our VP of Operations (a woman) because she would know how best to handle the situation. Two days ago I got an email from the VP asking me to come to her office so we could talk. I went and she asked me to tell her the whole Chinless Wonder saga. Again, one of the funniest and most awkward work conversations I've ever had. The VP is old enough to be my mother and looked confused when I was trying to explain FB messaging and un-friending and all the intricacies of online communication. She even said "Well we haven't had to deal with this in so long because everyone here is much older than you. This is a good lesson in how social media is changing workplace dynamics." Hahaha glad I can be your guinea pig lady now tell me how to get this creeper off my back!!!! I told her that I didn't want to get Chinless Wonder in trouble that I just felt uncomfortable around him now and that I felt like I needed to tell someone what was going on. I also told her that I didn't want to have to interact with him unless absolutely necessary because I didn't want him to have the opportunity to say something else inappropriate. And in the spirit of honesty, if I got him in trouble he could ruin my life by exposing how much non-work related activity takes place on my work computer! The VP told me she would have an off the record conversation with him and that if anything else happened to let her know and she would have to approach it in a more serious, on the record manner.

That afternoon I got an email from Chinless Wonder with the subject line "My overstepping boundaries" and the email read, "I apologize for any confusion on my part between professional and friendship. I completely understand your dilemma, and I will continue to provide the best service I can for your IT needs and keep it 100% professional." I can't tell you how hard I laughed over the fact that he gave the email a subject line - IT nerds are so predictable. I didn't respond to the email and I don't plan to. I'm hoping this is the end of it. He messaged Miranda on FB a few times that evening but I'll have to let her fill you in on that hilarity or else this post will be 6 pages long.

Who wants to place a bet on how long before Chinless Wonder decides to move to Hawaii?

-Gwyn

1 comment:

  1. That is creepy! I love his "apology" email...rofl. Let's hope he stays in NC. The island doesn't need that weird energy!! What a nut!
    -Jules

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