Thursday, July 14, 2011

One Day At A Time

I swear if I ever sober up, I've got the AA mantra down. I'm totally a one day at a time girl. I live in the moment with a huge emphasis on the present and rarely any thought toward my past and/or future. Naturally there are pros and cons to this way of living, but I've made it to 35 so I'm going to keep at it.

While I've been thinking about this whole Gavin thing a lot the last few days, it's not like I'm mapping out the next few years and trying to figure out how he fits into it. I woke up today and read a lot of comments about my relationship with him and started realizing that maybe I do feel a lot more for him. Actually, I know I do (did) on an emotional level BUT on an intellectual level I know that we would fail in the end and then I wouldn't have him in my life and ultimately, I'd miss that...so I'm perfectly happy with the status quo.

It also helps that I got to see what a moron he is today...lol. I got a call from him about 4pm saying that he'd hurt his back working and was laid up on muscle relaxers. I would love to contribute that to what he said next, but sadly I think this thought process happened before he took the pills. He tells me that the gf was listening to his VM and heard a message I'd left about my house being open if he wanted to come over. Now it seems she thinks we're fucking. I'm unsure how she missed the other clues, but whatever. He played it off like he's just been spending time here alone when we're gone and that was all it was about, which is not a total lie.

Here was his plan though to combat her suspicions.
G: "So, I want to call you on speaker phone with her in the background"
Me: Interrupts..."Fuck no"
G: "Wait, here me out. I want to call you with her listening and just ask you something like if you were interested in having sex with me and you can act all grossed out by the idea and say that we're just friends."
Me: "No, I'm a grown woman. We are not in High School anymore and you need to handle your own drama."
G: "Ok, are you sure? I told her I was coming over Saturday and offered to have her come by and hang out if she wanted so that she could see the situation."
Me: "You did what??? No fucking way, she is NOT welcome in my house....ever."
G: "Well, she said no anyway, but I just thought it would throw her off."
Me: "Look, I need you to come do that stuff to my car on Saturday. I expect you to be there and I expect her NOT to be, got it?"
G: "Yes ma'am." (Sincerely by the way...lol)
Me: "Don't ever invite her near my house again. You keep your drama at your house"
G:"So, I had a really great time with you last night. I loved fucking your ass. You're so sexy. I've thought about the texting thing and what you said about how if I texted you would send me pictures, but I guess now probably isn't the best time to start that...maybe later"

Dear Lord in heaven I swear that was our actual conversation. Has he lost his fucking mind?? It was the kick in the ass I needed though to bring my emotional and intellectual selves back into alignment. My intellectual side kicked my emotional side's ass and made it realize that despite the fact that I like him a lot, I would feel like I was dating an infant if I ever acquiesced to being his full time gf. Life is back to normal. I'd like to thank the universe for showing me this today and getting him out of my head so that I can go back to focusing on more important matters like what possible benefit is there for Russell to want to delay filing for divorce? People are throwing way too much at me to think about right now. One day at a time... :)

1 comment:

  1. Wow, sometimes guys do the strangest things. I wonder how he played it out in his head that made him believe you would go along with that? I think you described it accurately as high school drama. I'm glad you refused to do it. I don't think anything good would have come of it anyway. Oh and I hope he follows thru and fixes your car for you!