Monday, April 4, 2011

Final Thoughts

I had planned a third oh so insightful post into the mind of Miranda but honestly I’m a little sick of examining myself.  Basically I have issues relating to my insecurities about Coach’s friends and his ex. So I’m going to make this one short, relatively speaking that is.

Basically we live in a small town. Coach grew up in this town and somehow gained the reputation of small town boy makes good by playing professional baseball for a few years before coming back and settling down.  I’m not from the big city by far but I am from a bigger city where everyone does not know everyone and everyone is not all up in your business like crazy. So dating for me in a small town has certainly been eye opening.

It’s like high school on steroids.  I told Coach sometimes it feels like he’s the star quarterback and I’m the new girl who just moved to town and everyone is shocked we’re involved.  But he’s not a fucking quarterback and this is not high school people!  On more than one occasion I’ve wanted to tell all these fools to just grow up.  It’s shocking that in your 40s you are still acting exactly like you did when you were a teenager.  I guess that’s small town life for you.

Regardless, Coach has a massive desire to please people and avoid confrontation.  This leads to him not calling out his friends on their BS or telling them to mind their own business.  It’s annoying and I really shouldn’t let this small town crap get to me but it clearly infected my brain for the last few months.  Every once in a while I’d get some perspective and rise about the fray but then it’d suck me right back in. 

So I’m endeavoring to be out of it.  To not let it affect me in any way.  And Coach has gotten his marching orders to either get himself out of it or figure out how to deal with it because I’m not playing their reindeer games anymore.  I’m putting up my hard shell and just not even bothering trying to get them to like me or be friends with me. If it happens, great, if not this girl is going to be just fine.

Coach’s ex is a whole different issue.  For way too may years he’s let himself be railroaded by her and done pretty much whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.  So now that he’s dating she’s pitched one fit after another.  Remember when she hacked his facebook?  Egad I just realized I almost turned into her with my own Facebook infiltration.  Yikes, that makes my skin crawl.

Over the last couple months her craziness has ebbed and flowed.  Despite whatever we tried, she would not agree to let me meet the kids and every time we tried to plan a subversive move to make that happen she intercepted. Until this weekend that is.

Saturday night Coach’s family was doing a birthday dinner for him and I agreed to come.  (I’ll talk more about that in a later post.) His kids and mine got along great.  His older boy seems like a great kid and I was very impressed with him, especially his conversational skills. His younger one, well he seems a little ADD but he’s really cute and hopefully he’ll grow out of that. 

After he dropped of the kids, Coach came back to my apartment for a little while and his ex when crazy. Pretty much she told him she hoped he enjoyed his last night of being a father and that he was an awful dad for introducing me to the kids.  Coach was pretty riled but I think he was also a little worried about her behavior.

It’s his own fault for letting her call the shots all these years but still I hate it when parents put their kids in the middle of their own drama.  Coach did get to see his kids again on Sunday for a while though the ex told him she was going to have new custody papers drawn up and wanted him to sign over the kids college/savings account to her – which he did not do. I guess she figures she’ll just make the plan and he’ll go along with it.  He’s been taking baby steps in standing up against her but I think it’s time for him to take some big boy steps. 

Hopefully they will work it out because I don’t want to have to deal with ex drama at any point in the relationship.  It makes me even more thankful that Duckie and I have been so civil with each other.


1 comment:

  1. In recovery, addicts are taught to fake it till you make it. I'm practicing this with regards to your situation with Coach. I have a mantra now that I'm going to just repeat over and over again...I love you, I support you, and I hope I'm wrong. I am aghast over this post, but I fear my further expressions of concern over this situation will hurt our friendship, so I'm shutting up totally on it. I have no further opinions (that will be voiced out loud). I love you, I support you, and I hope I'm wrong. I don't have to fake those things, what I do have to fake is how I feel about him.