I had to take a moment this morning to share a funny story. I've written about my grandmother before on this blog (I have a separate blog all about her, but I've been so busy with life that it's been neglected) and it's safe to say she's one sassy lady. I don't know if it's the impending arrival of my uncle for Easter or if Fridays just bring it out in her but this morning she was a ball of hilarity.
I called her a few minutes ago to discuss retrieval of some Netflix dvds that she has at her house for me. One of them is something I ordered (Modern Family if you're curious) and the other, according to my grandmother, is "some strange movie with that weirdo Angelina Jolie that your mother ordered for me but I'm not watching that crap." My guess is it's the movie Salt but who knows for sure. And that's not the funny part.
We had a brief conversation about taxes - she is very bent out of shape at the amount of taxes she had to pay and keeps insisting that she "is standing right at the door to the poor house." This coming from a woman whose checking account has more money in it than I make in a year.
Now here's where it gets really good. She asked me if I had read the paper yet because there is a big article about how everything we do on our iPhones and iPads is tracked, allowing them to spy on our private lives. Then came the crowning jewel of this morning's conversation, "I don't care if they see what's on my iPad. All they're going to see is Tom Jones singing Sex Bomb and pictures of Alec Baldwin without a shirt on. I've also been watching Tina Turner and her legs. And yesterday I watched Jerry Lee Lewis sing with Tom Jones and Jerry Lee Lewis is completely crazy."
The conversation ended when she told me she had to go get her hair done, but not before she also told me that my uncle is coming Sunday for Easter and wanted to eat Easter dinner with us. She then said, "I told him we were eating at noon so he'd have to get up too early to get here by then. I told him we'd save him a plate. Now that's the best I can do."
It's like looking into my future.......