Tuesday, April 5, 2011


This was a fitting song to the end of my crazy day. It makes me think of Clark. Why would I be thinking about Clark? That would be because he Facebook IMed me today while I was home with Chloe. He's so angry. It's hard to watch someone carry around that much anger, but ultimately I don't own it and I told him as much. I told him that this last time was our final time and that I needed to move on since he hadn't been willing and/or able to work through his issues surrounding the party. He said an angry goodbye and  I thought for a brief second in time that he might have meant it.

About 3 hours later, he started in again about whether or not the random guy I fucked at the party was amazing in bed, if he was better than Clark, and get this...if he was better than Owen. I told him to go be angry elsewhere because I was finished with this conversation. I know I should un-friend him. I honestly hadn't because I was waiting to see when he would. I don't know why, morbid curiosity I suppose. Part of me doesn't know why he keeps coming back either and I'm waiting to see when the disconnect finally happens. Now I'm faced with my previous dilemma of if I un-friend him, will he end up showing up here at my house if I don't give him other outlets? It's almost a risk I'm willing to take, but fortunately for me we are rarely on FB at the same time.

Owen was sexting me last night and today about our meeting tomorrow. He told me that he's so excited he may not last long...mind you this means he'll probably only go for 30-45 minutes. I got a new toy today in the mail, but we have other plans for tomorrow. He told me what he wants and I've told him the exact steps to get it.

I am now convinced Gavin is stalking me...lol. I stayed home from work today as I mentioned because Chloe was sick. Around 11:30am, Gavin walks in and asks Chloe why we're home. She told him she was sick and he said he'd seen my car and just wondered what I was doing. Meanwhile, I'm trying to have a phone convo with Gwyn and the two of them are circling me like 3 year olds. Finally when my boss texted me on top of their circling, I told her I had to go. It was almost funny, except it was frustrating that I can't have a 15 minute conversation without one of them demanding my attention. He came back over later but Chloe and I were working on our respective homework assignments, so he left again. I've come to discover that if Gavin comes over and he's not the center of my attention, he will leave. I like his neediness though (at times). It's still mostly cute to me, like a soft, warm puppy who is just super excited to see you when you come home.

He and Owen definitely give me positive energy, which is why they are still on Team Jules. Go Team!

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