Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Baby Mama Drama

Well my second DC trip has been thwarted. I’m starting to think the universe really doesn’t want me to be in DC for some reason.

Coach and I had been planning for me to come up for a long weekend over Easter so that we could do a little sight seeing. I LOVE DC! I’ve been several times and I never fail to be disappointed.  It’s just a really cool place.

Alas, yesterday he was served with papers saying that his EX is requesting a review of their child support agreement so he has to come back here tomorrow to meet with his lawyer to find out what’s going on.  It sucks that she’s doing it this way instead of just talking to him about it but she’s not exactly Ms. Nice Girl.

Lately she’s been giving him a really hard time.  Refusing to tell him when the kids have games on the weekends, saying he can see them and then changing plans at the last second, asking him to have the boys at totally random times, generally being mean and saying things like if he brings me around the kids again he’s never going to see the boys.  She’s all but eliminated all traces of Coach’s family from the boys lives and never lets them go see their grandparents.  It’s just been crazy.  Several times she’s threatened to ask for more child support or to fight him for sole custody in the midst of an argument but I guess she’s finally putting her money where her mouth has been.

I think as much as anything she’s not happy that he’s not around at her beck and call anymore. Partly because of me but also because of the DC job.  Though to be fair he talked over the DC job with her and she agreed to shoulder more of the responsibilities with the kids while he’s living there.  Before he moved he kept the boys two nights a week on average so it’s not like they were evenly split before.  Regardless it sucks that she’s creating so much drama and I really hope (though I have serious doubts) that she’s keeping the drama between her and Coach and not putting it in front of the kids.

Another lesson learned for you readers – get your visitation/support/etc stuff down on paper before you move out!  Duckie and I did that. He kept telling me to leave before we were done negotiating and I refused to. I knew how important it was for our future relationship to have all that stuff worked out before we ever started truly living separately. 

Coach and his EX agreed to 50/50 custody of their boys but they had no set visitation spelled out in their papers.  He said he wanted to do the week split that Duckie and I do but the EX didn’t want to be away from the boys for that long. So like most times in his relationship, he rolled over and let her have his way. They also agreed that he’d pay $800 in child support but they didn’t put in a provision or waiver that the amount could not be adjusted in the future – which good old Miranda did do.  Now when they split he was making more money than her but now she makes WAYYYYYY more than him.  But good old NC law sets child support guidelines more around how much time is spent with each parent than how much money each parent makes.  Damn divorce is a pain in the ass!

So now he’s got to figure all that out amidst her crazy drama. Hopefully they’ll get it all ironed out quickly and we can all move on with our lives.  So we’ll be spending Easter weekend in small town USA, probably discussing NC child support laws and custody arrangements. At least I’ll save on gas money…



  1. If it's not in writing, it doesn't exist. Wish him luck from me.

  2. Miranda, how would you feel if you were in her position? I feel sorry for the ex-wife. She lost her marriage to a pain pill addicted man, lost her house to foreclosure, and then the father of her kids moves 5 hours away and when he comes home he introduces her kids to you without her permission? Yeah, I'd be crazy too.

  3. For his kid's sake, I really hope they get visitation worked out. It really irks the hell out of me when people use their kid's as pawns and this type of crap only hurts the kids. I said it the other day and I'll say it again, BOTH of them need to grow up, figure their shit out, and remember that first and foremost they are parents (and that's all I have to say about that).

  4. Funny horror story: my parents have been divorced for like twenty years, but he's STILL paying alimony based on what he was making back then, despite the fact he only makes half of what he did in the 90s because he didn't sort out a time limit or terms in which she'd make enough where he didn't have to anymore.

    Get your shit sorted out in advance.