Lord, I'm about done with all the soul searching going on here...lol. It's forcing me to look at my own life and I'm happy and I'd be relatively guilt free if you guys would cut this out...kidding (mostly). I was having an interesting conversation today at work with Josie via text about passion and affairs. Interestingly enough, Adam posted something similar to this the other day. Gwyn, this is why I think men cheat.
First of all, we are not monogamous beings. Religion and society have forced this very unnatural concept onto us and I think it's a bunch of crap. If you want to spend the rest of your life fucking the same person, rock on but for the love of all that is freaking holy don't judge me because the thought makes me want to vomit. I mean this in a generalist sense. I don't feel judged by any of you.
Second, marriage is hard. It's hard to want to fuck the same person day in and day out when you have kids and bills and life with them. There were plenty of days during my marriage that I most definitely wasn't in the mood. (Not to worry because Russell was never in the mood...god we had horrible chemistry.) When I'm fighting with you about whose responsibility it is to do something around the house or about money or about whatever life thing is going on...I'm probably not going to be in the mood to fuck you later that night. It's not punishment, it's just lack of desire. When this happens consistently over time, you lose a lot of the passion that you once had during the dating stage where everyone is putting their best face forward.
Third, affairs are fun. When you meet up, you're both in the mood. You have probably both showered and put on clean underwear and are amped up about fucking one another because at home you're too busy dealing with life. In an affair, you always see the person's best side. I've never once yelled at Owen. I've never argued with him about anything. (Well, we had one brief argument when I told him I couldn't see him anymore after he told me he was trying to work things out at home...but it was short lived.) Dear Readers, you can bet your asses that if we were in an actual relationship, this would be very different. I'll also take this opportunity to state again, I don't want him to leave his family. I love this fantasy relationship filled with passion.