Friday, April 15, 2011

Jules Appreciation Day

Yes, I have them...I've decided it's a semi-annual event. Personally, I think everyone should do this for themselves, but today's ended up a little fucked up so I may have a re-do soon. On Jules Appreciation Day, it's strictly about what Jules' wants to do (and no, sadly everyday is NOT like this despite what you assume from reading about my life!). ;)

The morning started off in a fantastic way. Owen and I were supposed to meet for lunch, but his side job got cancelled this morning and moved to the afternoon, which was fine by me! He came over bright and early and o-m-g. I swear that man gives me the most amazing orgasms of my life. I know ya'll like details, so here it is. He came in to me playing with one of my new toys. He took over and started ramming it into me in a way that I just can't quite do for myself. I was cumming within seconds of him being in my house. He was licking me some and it was great. I also had the pleasure of watching how hard he was and enjoyed him watching me .

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and replaced the toy with his cock. He flipped my legs up and was in super deep and then he wanted to know what other new toys I had since his last visit. He pulled out several to try and we fucked for a long time in various positions with him playing with my ass. Near the end of this, I came so hard I literally soaked the sheets. I also clenched the hell out of him, which he LOVED. It was one of the best orgasms I've had with him in a long time and trust me I have amazing ones with him every time, so imagine how good this one had to be! He also did this thing to me today that totally drove me insane. I've mentioned that penetration is one of my favorite aspects of the act. He kept pulling out and re-entering me for like 5 minutes. It's what lead up the big one!

Once I came again, he flipped me over again to my back and got on his knees. He put a pillow under my ass and I lifted it up to meet him. He entered my ass as I played with myself and I could watch him. He was trying so hard to not cum. I've never watched him like this because normally I prefer anal on my stomach, but he's gotten into this whole thing where he likes it this way so he can watch me play with myself and see himself going in and out of me. Last time we did it, I was watching the sex part, but today I watched his face. It's a very sensual position and I'm down. When he was ready to cum, he pulled out of my ass and came all over my pussy as I rubbed us both and used his cum as lube to keep playing. He kind of collapsed onto me and started sucking my nipples before kissing me and getting up to shower. Two words....sex god. After he left, I literally laid around for a little while before deciding to actually take care of some responsibilities. (Boo)

A little backstory...yesterday, Gavin came over since I was off during the day and went with me to the city I had to do my practicum interview for next semester. He hung out with some friends and then we went to lunch. During lunch, he started talking about how important our friendship is to him and how much he loves having me in his life and then, wait for it...he got teary eyed. I kind of laughed at him and moved the conversation along. He knew today was Jules' Appreciation Day and as a former participant in the said day he was familiar with the rules (or so I thought).

Today, he came over mid morning and told me he had an errand to run really quickly, but then he wanted me to run some with him and go out to lunch for Jules Appreciation Day. I said "Yes!". We went out and ran some errands and then he took me to sushi. I love, love, love sushi. An important part of this story is to note that during this lunch, he kept referencing sexual stuff between us. We had a lot to drink and were having a super time fun, laughing and hanging out. Then we went to another store and he mentioned he had some weed if I wanted to smoke with him. We smoked and I made some comment about his self serving nature regarding always wanting me to blow him, but my thinking he needed to pick up the giving part of things too. Holy mother, it went downhill quickly to the point where I quit talking to him.

He started in on the whole feelings thing as he tends to do when we smoke (which is stopping today...no more weed with Gavin, ever) only he totally projected his shit onto me and made some comment about how he didn't want me falling in love with him. HUH?? It was insane and he kept at it, despite my telling him to shut up and that he was talking himself out of sex for a good long while with me. Here are my theories because I spent the better part of the afternoon analyzing this. I have three working ones. First, I think he's so self involved and such a narcissist that he can't imagine anyone fucking him and not being in love (wrong). Second, he's actually developed feelings for me that run deeper than he thought but b/c he's still in love with the gf he doesn't know what to do with them and being high released his inhibitions to talk about it. (right) Third, I may have sent out mixed signals (never).

Here's what I plan to tell him next time I decide I want to talk to him. I love him as a friend. As a friend, I accept a lot of things about him. As a partner, these would never fly. I've discussed them before here on the blog, but he has a history of domestic violence, he's an addict which as a friend I can deal with but not in a relationship, he's never been faithful to a women (not that this is real stickler, but I do have jealousy issues), and he doesn't have a stable job and/or housing. These are not traits that I find acceptable for someone that I'm going to be "in love" with. I am not in love with him and do not equate sex and love at all. I've been seeing other men the entire time I've been with him, told him from day 1 that we're not relationship compatible, and reiterate that I have commitment issues.

It's possible that I'm not being self aware, but I really think I am. I think I've got my shit in check and the reality of our situation under control. I've put up a new poll though, so feel free to weigh in. It's just a measure to check myself and to see if maybe I have put the wrong stuff out into the universe. Sometimes we need perspective.

In other happy news, I unfriended Clark today. That ship has totally sailed. He was IMing with me today and it just pissed me off, so why keep doing it? Then, I came home tonight to a letter from the university awarding me a small scholarship for next year. Overall, not a bad day except the mid-afternoon part when Gavin killed my buzz.

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