Popping the Question
Thursday night when Gwyn and I were trolling the internet for Hawaiian hotties, Coach was out with his friends and family. As boys often do when they are unchaperoned, the jager-bombs started flowing and they led Coach to engage in some drunk dialing. He called several times in short succession and once I overheard someone ask him who he was talking to and he said his "GIRLFRIEND." I started laughing and told him I didn't remember being asked to be that. Then Gwyn grabbed the phone and gave Coach a quick pep talk on how a boy should appropriately pop that question. Among the other things he revealed during his drunk dialing was that he "really really" liked me and that he'd been talking to his family about me quite a bit and they were hoping to meet me soon. Interesting...
Yesterday morning Coach texted me and tried to act like he didn't remember our many conversations. He quickly recanted though and said he was a little embarrassed and hoped that Gwyn didn't think bad of him for the drunk dialing. I assured him she didn't, Lord knows she's been the recipient of enough drunk texts and calls from me!
So the day passes and I got ready with some virtual assistance from Jules and Gwyn. I glammed it up even wearing my magic hot boots so I would be sure to impress when I met his friends and family. Not 20 minutes into the date, Coach looked at me trying to be all serious and he popped the question. "Would you be my girlfriend?" I started laughing and asked if he was serious and he laughed and said, "Yes, I want to be exclusive with you. Does that work for you." And..... I said yes. That's right! Stop the presses, Miranda has a boyfriend.
We were headed out to dinner and doing a bar crawl with some of his friends. Our first bar of the night was the most redneck, country dive bar I've ever seen. It was literally a refurbished garage. And they served Hot Pockets. That's right - Hot Pockets. Among the many fine sights at this lovely locale was a 70 year old man with a huge heart tattoo with my name on it, two people with broken legs (who goes out drinking with a broken leg!), and way too many women in acid washed jeans with their sweaters tucked in. It was actually quite fun but I was definitely overdressed. I'd go back in a heartbeat but next time I'll wear my jeans and cowboy boots.
Stop two was back in our town. It was at a sports bar/restaurant that is a favorite with the locals. The minute I walked it it felt like Cheers. I swear I think I saw every single person I've partied with in the last 10 months. Holding court was SoCo and Coach's younger sister. His sister immediately hugged me about 10 times and told me over and over how much she loved me. Yes, she was drunk but she was very sweet and seemed to be head over heels for SoCo. Actually SoCo even told me at one point that he thought she was his soul mate. Yeah, if you say so SoCo.
Also in residence was a woman who apparently has had a crush on Coach for quite some time. She actually lives in the same complex as me, no you're not imagining things, it seems my social circle is shrinking. So Coach introduces us and we are socializing and having a blast when this woman grabs my arm and starts pulling me to the dance floor. I thought it was odd but whatever, party girl Miranda was going with the flow. She starts talking about how much she loves Coach and how they've been friends for ever. Blah, blah, blah. Then she looks me dead in the eye and says, "As far as Coach goes, I can be your best friend....or your worst enemy." WTF! I was so startled that this 40something year old country woman was "threatening" me Miranda the glamazon. WEIRD but hilarious!
The rest of the night was full of odd and funny moments but nothing quite so good as this apparently crazy woman. I will say the first few times Coach introduced me as his girlfriend it made silent shrill screams go off in my head. However as the night wore on I started enjoying my role and even started spouting off to all my guy friends that Coach was my boyfriend. More than one of them looked like their eyes were going to pop out of their head when they heard that I had a boyfriend.
As far as Coach and I, we ended the night with some much anticipated wild and crazy all over the apartment sex (including a lap dance from me). It was quite athletic and well worth the wait. Maybe there is something to this holding out on sex thing after all.....
Waking up this morning with a boyfriend was quite the reality check. Miranda knows how to get divorced. Miranda knows how to have an affair. Miranda knows how to party. Miranda knows how to hook up. But does Miranda know how to be someone's girlfriend? We shall see...
Miranda
Yesterday morning Coach texted me and tried to act like he didn't remember our many conversations. He quickly recanted though and said he was a little embarrassed and hoped that Gwyn didn't think bad of him for the drunk dialing. I assured him she didn't, Lord knows she's been the recipient of enough drunk texts and calls from me!
So the day passes and I got ready with some virtual assistance from Jules and Gwyn. I glammed it up even wearing my magic hot boots so I would be sure to impress when I met his friends and family. Not 20 minutes into the date, Coach looked at me trying to be all serious and he popped the question. "Would you be my girlfriend?" I started laughing and asked if he was serious and he laughed and said, "Yes, I want to be exclusive with you. Does that work for you." And..... I said yes. That's right! Stop the presses, Miranda has a boyfriend.
We were headed out to dinner and doing a bar crawl with some of his friends. Our first bar of the night was the most redneck, country dive bar I've ever seen. It was literally a refurbished garage. And they served Hot Pockets. That's right - Hot Pockets. Among the many fine sights at this lovely locale was a 70 year old man with a huge heart tattoo with my name on it, two people with broken legs (who goes out drinking with a broken leg!), and way too many women in acid washed jeans with their sweaters tucked in. It was actually quite fun but I was definitely overdressed. I'd go back in a heartbeat but next time I'll wear my jeans and cowboy boots.
Stop two was back in our town. It was at a sports bar/restaurant that is a favorite with the locals. The minute I walked it it felt like Cheers. I swear I think I saw every single person I've partied with in the last 10 months. Holding court was SoCo and Coach's younger sister. His sister immediately hugged me about 10 times and told me over and over how much she loved me. Yes, she was drunk but she was very sweet and seemed to be head over heels for SoCo. Actually SoCo even told me at one point that he thought she was his soul mate. Yeah, if you say so SoCo.
Also in residence was a woman who apparently has had a crush on Coach for quite some time. She actually lives in the same complex as me, no you're not imagining things, it seems my social circle is shrinking. So Coach introduces us and we are socializing and having a blast when this woman grabs my arm and starts pulling me to the dance floor. I thought it was odd but whatever, party girl Miranda was going with the flow. She starts talking about how much she loves Coach and how they've been friends for ever. Blah, blah, blah. Then she looks me dead in the eye and says, "As far as Coach goes, I can be your best friend....or your worst enemy." WTF! I was so startled that this 40something year old country woman was "threatening" me Miranda the glamazon. WEIRD but hilarious!
The rest of the night was full of odd and funny moments but nothing quite so good as this apparently crazy woman. I will say the first few times Coach introduced me as his girlfriend it made silent shrill screams go off in my head. However as the night wore on I started enjoying my role and even started spouting off to all my guy friends that Coach was my boyfriend. More than one of them looked like their eyes were going to pop out of their head when they heard that I had a boyfriend.
As far as Coach and I, we ended the night with some much anticipated wild and crazy all over the apartment sex (including a lap dance from me). It was quite athletic and well worth the wait. Maybe there is something to this holding out on sex thing after all.....
Waking up this morning with a boyfriend was quite the reality check. Miranda knows how to get divorced. Miranda knows how to have an affair. Miranda knows how to party. Miranda knows how to hook up. But does Miranda know how to be someone's girlfriend? We shall see...
Miranda
Comments
Post a Comment