Tough Love

-
While yesterday afternoon was the highlight of my freaking sex life, yesterday evening was really weird. I am hesitant to blog about this too much, because Russell slipped and said something one day that made me paranoid that he’s onto the blog. He knows Clark’s real name but he called him “Clark” one day in conversation. Now it could have been a slip because they are very similar, but what kind of coincidence is that?? Russell is obviously not on Team Gavin and I don’t want to add anything to fuel the fire. He tolerates Gavin because I like him and Chloe likes him, but that’s it.
Anyway, the storm has passed it seems from our being busted Monday night. Gavin came over last night while Russell was working and as he was leaving the first time, he said “Ok, love you…” on the way out. My emotionally gimpy self laughed and said “Mmmm hmm” in response. I was totally freaking out.  Then he came back later…sadly.  I wish that had been the end of the night.
When he came back, he made me super mad and I threw him out. It was time for some serious tough love and I dished it out. I love Gavin. I’ll admit it, but I’m not in love with him. Those are two very different things. I love him like I love all of my friends and I love having sex with him, but I do not fantasize about spending my life with him or anything. He’s a fun, good time guy but he’s got too much baggage for me to be in love with him.  I’m a realist and I also don’t want to settle and he’s still got the whole gf thing going on too. It’s just not the time.
I hated throwing him out. It really hurt me to do it, but it needed to happen. I actually dreamed about us fighting last night, so it’s clearly on my brain. Oddly enough, I have some abandonment issues and I’m always afraid when I fight with someone that it will be it. This doesn’t stop me from being the confrontational bitch that I am, but I’m just saying this other goes through my head too. He called me today around lunchtime to apologize for last night.  I let it go to voicemail. I’ll call him back after work today but I decided to let him sweat it out a little.
In other news, Penn really wanted to me go out to his campsite last night and after I figured out Russell was going out after work and I texted him this, he quit responding…so I’m assuming he’s pissed at me.  I hope he gets over it because he’s cute and fun, but ultimately whatever.  I guess I’m the flaky one now.
-Jules

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Online Dating Duds

-
 After the Return of Sawyer debacle I went back to online dating and discovered a string of totally unsuitable and unappetizing guys but they gave me some good laughs. There was a friend of Peabody’s who remembered meeting me but I didn’t remember meeting him.   He was super conservative and a Trump lover but I went out with him out of spite just hoping it would get back around to Peabody.   We had a very unremarkable date in the small town I live in – again hoping someone would see me and get back to Peabody (I’m nothing if not a little petty).   We talked and he gave me a sob story about having a legit crazy ex-wife and wanted a lot of details about Peabody.   Gossip travels fast in this small town I suppose.   We kissed a little at the end of the night and it wasn’t bad but it also wasn’t anything to want to take your pants off about.   Then there was the vet, as in veterinarian, who was so old fashioned he didn’t have a cell phone – at least that’s what he told me.   But he als
Read more

Five months later

-
Here we are amost five months later. Jules is happily married and coping with Russell leaving the island. Gywn is bursting with pregnancy - shes having a boy! -and counting down the days till her hubby comes home. And Miranda, well Miranda is...happy. As strange of an emotion as she can imagine, Miranda is happy. Peabody has pulled out all the stops and completely committed himself to her. It's about damn time lol. Maybe fairy tales can cone true after all? Fate has taught Miranda to be cautious but she can't help feeling cautiously optimistic at the moment. 
Read more

The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same - sometimes - The Return of Sawyer Part 2

-
 So yeah Sawyer and I finally got our practically healthy grown up relationship. I realize how much of an oxymoron that sounds but if you read any of the old blog where he and I were “dating” we were so immature and ridiculous then.  The first night he came over we just hung out for a while and of course he laid one of his trademark knee melting kisses on me right away.   The chemistry between us has always been incredible, definitely unmatched with anyone I’ve been with in my history. We sat on the couch for a while and just talked.   Caught up on the years and how life had been and all that stuff.   He suggested we grab some takeout so we went out and he held the door open for me in his giant ass truck and helped me get it.   As I was sitting in his truck waiting for him to get in, it was totally surreal.   We drove down the road and he started laughing and said exactly what I was thinking – how weird it was after all these years and all history to be out in public together.   We
Read more