It's Feasting Time in Crazytown

Men are driving me nuts again like to the point where I may take a break from them all (except for Owen). Gavin and Russell decided at the same time to sober up for the past 2 weeks. I found it excruciating...sobriety is not allowed in this house. Russell and I spent a few hours last night kicking back with some margaritas, so that was nice. Alcohol keeps the peace here very well. Gavin came over after Russell went to bed and we got each other off on the couch. He'd been out drinking and was horny. Thank god because when he's sober, he bores the shit out of me. Things seem more normal on that front, but I'm feeling a little pissy with him over the pill thing and then his remarks to Miranda and Gwyn that seemingly implied I complicate his life and have issues with his gf, which is not the case in life. I need him to babysit Chloe some for me this week with Russell being gone, so I've basically just withdrawing from him and I'm not confronting him on it yet.

Penn is being weird. When Miranda and Gwyn were here, he texted me nightly to come over with the exception of the ONE night I was in town and could have actually seen him. I did finally see him Wednesday and last night when I was kid free I offered to come hang out. He responded about 4 hours after I texted him saying yes. Well at that point, I had other plans and after dinner with some friends I texted him back and I said I'd still be willing to if he wanted but I couldn't get there until close to 11pm. He said he had to be to work early, but I could come for "a few". Dude, I'm not driving an hour for "a few". We texted some back and forth about how if he wasn't into me, I'd be happy to move along. He assured me that wasn't the case and that he enjoys hanging out with me a lot, but since he works so early Thursday-Sunday he can't be up late. I don't know...I'm having a hard time trying to figure him out. I think I was a little tipsy though and taking his remarks personally. His delayed response was because he'd been at work.

Then this morning, he texted me about coming to his work and hooking up on his break...in the employee locker room. I declined that wonderful invitation because again I'm not driving 2 hours roundtrip on a beautiful day to fuck for like 10 minutes. He may be on his way out. Men in their 20s are stupid. Miranda calls them embryos. She's spot on with that.

Last night after Gavin left and I finished watching my movie, I got online. I didn't realize I was signed into IM and Clark pops up. I hadn't heard from him in about a month...a blissfully quiet, not crazy filled month. He played to my professional self and started in on how he has nothing and is all alone. I told him he caused that for himself. I actually dished out a big fat helping of  'you did this to yourself'. I did make him contract for safety because he sounded suicidal and while I intensely dislike him, I needed to know he wasn't going to kill himself. He was saying things like "I'm dead to this world". He finally ended the chat by saying he was sorry he'd bothered me.

I'm sitting on my couch this morning watching TV and deciding to motivate my ass off the couch and go out to the beach when he texts me to ask me to come over for sex. I also declined this lovely invite because I have NO intention of opening that can of worms again....ever. I told him he's not good for me, I'm sorry he's unhappy, but that I can't fix this for him. I didn't tell him this because ultimately he knows it, but what that poor boy needs is years of intensive therapy and medication management and my pussy is not equipped with those services despite his claims that fucking me takes his pain away.
-Jules