Crazy Ass Bitches

Let me give all you adult women a piece of advice – GROW THE FUCK UP!


First off there was the crazy 42 year old “I can be your best friend or your worst enemy” woman from New Years. Sunday night Coach was at my place when he started getting text from this woman. Supposedly one of her friends was interested in Coach and she just wanted to check with Coach to see what he wanted her to tell her friend. I quickly set him straight and let him know that this crazy woman was the one interested. It’s classic girl diversionary tactics to claim someone else is interested. Poor sweet Coach was astounded by the depths of girl trickery. Coach told her, and I paraphrase, “You know I have a girlfriend. Stop acting like this.”

We laughed about this and I shared some of mine and my friends’ crazy stories about things we’ve done when the hormones took over our brains and we got obsessed with guys. Then he suggested we make it real public and go on the record on Facebook as being in a relationship. With a deep breath and feeling very much like I was in high school myself, I agreed and we both changed our relationship statuses. (Cue cheesy music that reminds you of slow dancing in your first high heels at the homecoming dance freshman year in high school.)

So all is hunky dory until last night when Coach’s 40 year old ex-wife got on the crazy train and reverted to high school. Coach and I went out to dinner and were back at my place when his phone started blowing up with calls and text messages from his ex. She was over at their old house, which they just sold, with someone who was measuring rooms to replace the carpet for the new owner. He didn’t want to deal with her so he was just ignoring her calls.

We had a good laugh about her behavior because it was so weird and funny. Not in anyway normal for the way she acts. So finally he checked his phone and he had a message from both his sister (the one who kept telling me she loved me on New Years Eve) and his best friend that he needed to check out his Facebook page.

So we get online and somehow the ex has signed in as him and not only deleted all of my posts from his page but also the fact that we’re in a relationship. In addition, she sent me this lovely message from him – “From CRAZY BITCH’S REAL NAME: Relationship? Wow, so soon! Glad the boys (their sons) could see it on facebook! Won't be friends with their dad on facebook anymore! Enjoy the relationship or whatever you want to call it!"

Yeah, lovely. Apparently even though they’ve been divorced for two years and the divorce was mutual someone is harboring some bad feelings. So Coach jumped online, corrected all the shit she messed up, changed all his email and Facebook passwords, and moved in to ultra-protective mode with me.

Gwyn and I will have to fill you in but we’ve been on this “I feel” kick to put us and the guys we like in touch with our emotions. I told Coach, “I feel vulnerable and nervous about this.” I wish you could have seen the look on his face; he was quite stricken. He went into overload assuring me that she wasn’t going to create drama in our lives and that he was going to “handle this” ASAP and that I had nothing to worry about. It was quite charming and cute. He called his sister back while he was still at my place and she had him tell me almost the same exact thing verbatim and that I didn’t need to worry about the ex, she would take care of her herself. HA!

After Coach went home he tried to call the ex-wife several times to address her behavior and she wouldn’t answer her phone. So not only is she crazy but she can’t take the heat. Whatever! He also called me twice later in the night worried about me and making sure I was ok. Awwwww!

I don’t know. Maybe it’s something about women in their 40s not liking guys in their 40s to date younger women? I mean I’m only 34 so it’s not like Coach is dating a 20 year old but still. As a woman, this behavior out of grown ass women is embarrassing and a blight on the reputation of grown women everywhere. Again I say, “GROW THE FUCK UP!”

In other crazy bitch news, this morning I was emailing with Duckie about the kids and he told me the girlfriend broke up with him yesterday. I didn’t want to dig for details and I figure I can get some out of the kids today when I pick them up. But I did tell him how sorry I was for him and that no matter how weird it seemed/felt, if he wanted to talk I was here for him. He seemed sad. I feel bad for him. Just a day or so ago she was all “I love you” on his Facebook so I can’t imagine what happened there. Maybe it will just be a blip for them. Let’s just hope Duckie doesn’t revert to his own craziness now that he’s single and I am openly dating someone.

Miranda