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Friday, January 14, 2011

Together At Last


We made it! After an indeterminably long flight Gwyn and I touched down in Hawaii Wednesday afternoon to be picked up by none other than Jules’ part time boyfriend – Gavin.  After hearing so much about Gavin it was quite delightful to be greeted by him where he promptly lei’d us both at the airport.  He was chattering a mile a minute and determined to do Jules proud so he took us to a local Pearl City hotspot where we drank many mai-tais and started struggling with our jet lag.  

After a deluge in which we were convinced everything we owned was soaking wet in the back of Gavin’s truck (side note Gwyn was almost in tears in the front seat and Gavin acted like we were on a roller coaster ride  while repeatedly saying, “don’t worry Jules has two dryers. Luggage is made to get wet.”), we arrived at Jules’ Hawaiian paradise where Russell greeted us with a big glass of wine and a smile.  After Jules got home much drinking ensued and it was quite the unique little setting.  Jules, Gwyn, Russell, and I were imbibing in the living room while a shirtless Gavin cooked us Chicken Masala.  Yeah I said shirtless.  Apparently that’s his preferred method of cooking these days.

More drinking ensued, incredible amounts of laughter (especially after Russell revealed he had slept with the boy next door which Jules has also slept with), and a great night was had by all.  Before long jet lag claimed sleepyhead Gwyn and apparently it captured me too not long after her though I can’t say I remember actually falling asleep.  I woke up about 3:30 in Russell’s bed and stumbled my way into bed with Gwyn.

Yesterday was a crazy jet lag day where Gwyn and I were walking around in a fog, especially in the morning.  We were packing and unpacking the same things over and over and having serious issues forming coherent words.  Eventually we started to shake the fog off and we spent a glorious day cruising the coastline with Jules. 

To illustrate the depth of our jetlag here’s a secret nugget. Jules had class in the evening so we dropped her off and set the GPS to take us to Waikiki so we could stroll around a bit.  Jules has one of those glorious GPS that use celebrity voices and our voice just happened to be none other than John Cleese.  As we drove down the road he gave us this instruction, “Ahead bear right and beaver left.”  WTF?  We both first ignored his instruction to “beaver left” but when he said it a second time we broke into peals of laughter and wondered just how in the hell we were supposed to “beaver left.”  We proceeded to spend the next four hours debating just what this phrase meant and finally settled on it being an English expression that much be “be prepared to veer left.”  Later when we picked up Jules we asked about “beavering left” and with great delight she said, “It’s a joke you idiots. ‘Bear right, Beaver Left!’”  We died laughing the whole way back to Jules’ house.  Yeah it wasn’t the brightest day of our lives by any means.

This place is un-freaking-believably beautiful.  If you haven’t been here, I highly recommend it but you have to stay away from the city. It’s a whole different experience.  As of this moment, Gwyn and I are sitting in Jules’ dining room (aka the porch), listening to a colophony of birds and getting yelled at the very neighbor who has had sex with both Jules and Russell for being loud.  

When Jules gets back from an early morning meeting we plan to head for the beach and catch some rays. Tonight we’re heading back to town where we are hitting a booze cruise on a catamaren then meeting up with Penn and his friends for drinks.   Tonight is also the night Gwyn will have her fated meet up with Popeye and just much stamina that old spinach gives him. By the way, he send her a video of him shooting his gun yesterday (his literal gun you pervs!).  You know how us Infidelity Chronicles girls feel about guns….

I don’t know if you are gamblers but we’d love to hear your bets on how many of us girls will be having sex tonight.  Will it be Jules the sexaholic? What about Gwyn the man-eater?  Or even Miranda the “bad girl gone good” who has a boyfriend now?  Place your bets!

Miranda

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