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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

TMI Tuesday - Penis Edition

A couple weeks ago Gwyn and I had a funny conversation on none other than penises.  So I've taken it upon myself to create our own TMI Tuesday list of penis related questions.  Enjoy! - Miranda


What’s more important – length or width?
If I have to pick one I'm always going to go for a fattie.  - Miranda
OMG I don't want to pick one...I guess length. - Jules
For me personally, I'd probably go with length - as long as it's of at least average thickness I'm usually fine. But if it was short I don't think there's much I could do with that. This is a hard question! -Gwyn

Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
Yes! The summer between high school and college I tried to hook up with a friend of a friend.  As if doing it on the floor of her living room while she was passed out on the couch wasn't skanky enough, we played for a little bit and my relatively inexperienced self wondered why he wasn't whipping it out and wanting me to go down on him.  When we got to the actual having sex part he unzipped and I swear a campbell's soup can fell out. It was HUGE!  I was frightened lol.  We tried but he was too big and it hurt too much.  Sadly, no one got off that night. - Miranda
When I was 16, I fucked this group of guys one summer and they had a cousin that came over and I tried to have sex with him but I could barely do it. He was HUGE. I was super uncomfortable the whole time! - Jules
Yes, a guy I attempted to have sex with back in college. He was only like 5 ft 7in so when he pulled that giant out of his pants I was completely taken by surprise! We tried and we failed. That was also the 3rd black penis I had ever seen and let me tell you that the rumor about black men is totally true. I've seen my fair share and only 2 (Romeo and The Barber) were not completely gigantic. -Gwyn
 
Seen a teenie weenie?
Funny but shortly before the above campbell soup guy happened I was dating a guy I worked with. After senior prom I told my mom I was spending the night at Jules' house and went to spend the night with him.  I snuck into his parents house (he was going to college and living at home) and we proceeded to get it on.  Now he was tall and extremely, painfully thin but I liked guys like that back then.  We were laying on his futon - yes I said futon - and he entered me.  First thing I felt was his damn hard ass hip bones grinding into the backs of my thighs.  Next thing I felt was, well nothing. I swear I didn't think he was inside me as he was pumping and grinding away. I remembered being horrified and thinking that it was true that girls could get stretched out from too much sex - note I'd only had sex with two guys before him lol. I bet in it's full glory it was only about three inches long and very thin. - Miranda 
LOL, you used my house as a cover story?! I'd forgotten that! SD is the smallest guy I've ever been with...hence his name SD (Short Dick). Bless his heart, he's maybe 4 or 5" long and super skinny. It's kinda gross. I hated blowing him because it actually creeped me out. I like a big hard cock in my mouth, not something small and strange. He's a sweet guy, but I was never able to get past that. - Jules
Thankfully, no. I've never seen a teenie weenie. If I ever do, I'm seriously afraid that I will laugh. Crossfit had a small penis for sure (which thankfully I only saw and didn't have to fully experience) but I'm never sure if my standards are too high since I've been blessed to experience larger than average penises almost every time.
 -Gwyn
Weirdest looking penis you’ve seen?
I haven't seen too many weird ones really.  I got flashed buy an uncircumcised guy and thought that looked weird to my unappreciative eye.  First time I saw a black penis I thought that was weird too.  Mostly, all penises look pretty weird whether they are flopping around flacid or sticking straight out strong.  They might look weird but they sure are fun. - Miranda
I agree that uncircumcised penises are weird. I'm not a fan. I'm sorry if you're not circumcised, but it's just not my thing. I'm hoping that San Fran bill falls flat on it's ass. Unlike Miranda, I love the look of a guy's penis. SD's super small one is probably the weirdest. Oh no, wait...Russell and I did this guy one time that had kind of a growth on his. It wasn't anything contagious, but it was odd. - Jules
Truck Driver and his mushroom top/microphone penis. By far the strangest looking penis I've ever seen. -Gwyn
Any penis deal breakers?
Not really.  As long as it's not small, smelly, or sickly I can deal. - Miranda
Sickly? LMAO! Um yeah drippy dick would be a deal breaker...smelly would definitely too. I would probably say no to a Prince Albert because I would be afraid of the condom breaking. - Jules
Size is a dealbreaker if it's either abnormally skinny or short I'm not wasting my time. I know myself well enough to know that a baby penis/pencil penis isn't going to be able to satisfy me. -Gwyn
Best place to put a penis?
Well in you of course!  Though I love to play with one with my hands. I'm fascinated by them. - Miranda
In everyone of my waiting holes...duh. - Jules
Um what? -Gwyn
Best all around penis you've had your hands on? 
That is really, really tough.  Coach has a great one but that's sort of an unfair comparison because I'm in love with him so that clouds my judgement.  Lawyer Boy had an honestly beautiful penis but if I had to give an award it'd be to Flyboy. It was long, wide, and had it going on in every way possible. - Miranda

Owen's...hands down...awesome, amazing Owen and his sex god penis is my fave! - Jules
Hmmm another hard question. Popeye had a beautiful penis. The Ex had a beautiful penis as well. So did that crazy Scientologist whose nickname I can't remember. I really think I've been spoiled with the penises I've seen. I'm almost beginning to wonder if I have a gift for subconsciously picking boys with pretty and/or big dicks? Hmmmmmm if only I could bottle this and sell it......-Gwyn
If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?
I would probably be so fascinated and distracted by it hanging between my legs I'd play with it all day.  And I can totally see myself turning into a guy and taking pictures lol.  Clearly I'd have to stay at home. - Miranda

FUCK! Oh, damn...would I fuck guys or girls? Hmmm....that's an interesting dilemma. Maybe I should just stay home and play with it too. - Jules
I think I would play with it all day, seems like that would give me an advantage with men because I'd know exactly what everything I do feels like. -Gwyn

4 comments:

  1. Funny post! Uncircumcised penises are definitely strange looking...no thanks!

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  2. You three are hilarious...loved reading your answers!

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  3. Length or Width?

    My first Dom had a short and thin penis. He made up for it in other things, but penetration was just nothing! And I have a shallow pussy and he still couldn't get the job done. I was in the relationship for the spanking, and he could finger fuck pretty well.

    I prefer both, or just right.

    Too big?

    Yes. I dated a sexy Jamaican guy with a 9 inch penis. And nice width too! Really, though 3 1/2 to 4 inches, of his dick, was a waste.

    Seen a teenie weenie?

    Well not micro-weenie or anything. But refer to answer #1 as the smallest and thinnest I had ever encountered.

    Weirdest?

    Refer to #1. It wasn't weird look but it was a hook-penis. Not bent but much more like a hook. You can't ride a hook ladies. One of my favorite positions is to straddle my lover as he is seated in a chair and f**k him good. Well, with Mr. Short-Thin-and Hooked I could not do that.

    Best place to put a penis?

    Hahaha...all three of your answers cracked me UP!

    Best all around penis?

    Gwyn will you pick my next penis?

    If I had a penis for a day, I'd make sexy men suck it and I fuck pussies all day.

    I loved this TMI ladies. May I borrow it in the future? Giving you full credit of course.

    Happy TMI Tuesday,

    -Hedone

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  4. Hedone I'd be glad to pick out your next penis and we'd be glad for you to borrow our TMI questions.

    The hook-penis is cracking me up. I'm trying to picture it but I keep laughing!

    -Gwyn

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