Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Saturday Night Special

Saturday night I experienced one of the craziest drama filled nights ever. And it had absolutely nothing to do with me or Coach. HA!

After a lovely normal date night Friday night with Coach, then spending hours basking by the pool with Gwyn during the day, Saturday night was SoCo’s birthday dinner. Yes it’s still sooooo weird to be around him.  I really think that Coach’s sister, I’ll call her Pooh (it’s her nickname) has no idea he and I used to “hang out” for lack of a better word.  I think Coach knows we used to hang out but he’s steadfastly putting it out of his mind and I don’t mind that a damn bit. 

So anyways, we’re at dinner and Pooh had told me about this girl who would be there.  She has concerns about that girl and SoCo’s friendship. Seems his sister is a bit of a jealous girlfriend.  To be fair, SoCo has A LOT of girl friends and I bet he’s slept with most of them, me being a prime example. However I don’t think he’d cheat on Pooh.  About a week ago they’d had a fight about this particular girl and basically he told Pooh to suck it up that he wasn’t going to start editing friends out of his life.

At dinner all seemed just fine. Everyone was getting along and having fun.  Pooh was friendly to the girl and it seemed to go off without a hitch. Coach and I left to go hear a friend’s band and supposedly SoCo and Pooh were going home to finish out their evening alone.  About 30 minutes after we left dinner, Pooh shows up at the bar sobbing. 

We get her to calm down and she said they had a big fight and SoCo said he felt like she was being rude to his friend. Pooh responded as you can imagine a jealous girlfriend would and stormed out. Now she was already really drunk, but I had to confiscate her phone after she started exchanging some of the worst text messages I’ve ever seen exchanged.  Then she started slamming wine and she proceeded to get really, really, really, really drunk.

I texted SoCo and let him know she was with us and that I’d have her spend the night at my house.  He said he needed time to cool off and to make sure she was ok.  Coach and I spent the next several hours trying to keep her upright and out of trouble! She was chugging wine in a way that’d put Jules to shame and hitting on every guy who could stand upright.  Coach did he best big brother act and glowered at any guy he didn’t know personally to keep them away from Pooh. HA!

About 1:30 we start to wrap things up to go home and I started looking around for Pooh. Somehow she’d slipped away – I’m sure it wasn’t because of the many beers I had drunk that night.  We started asking around and one of Coach’s friends said he’d just seen Pooh drive off. WTF?  Who let’s a drunkie drunk drive? 

There wasn’t much we could do so we headed back to my place and to be frank – got freaky. In the midst of getting our freak on, Pooh calls me.  She’s at SoCo’s, hysterically crying and asked if we could come get her.  Neither of us really should have been driving but I wasn’t going to leave a man down so I told her we’d be there shortly.  We wrapped things up and were putting ourselves back together when I got a text from Soco saying Pooh had just driven off and to save ourselves a trip. Again – WTF? Even if you’re fighting with someone you don’t let them drive off when they are obliterated out of their mind!  Some standards people!

We tried to call and text Pooh but we never heard from her so eventually we just went to sleep. Fast forward to mid-day on Mother’s Day, Coach went to see his mom and Pooh was there. Apparently she said something that so enraged SoCo that he took the key she had given him to her house, ran out in the parking lot and threw it as far as he possibly could. Then he told her to sit outside and wait for us.  Clearly she didn’t and she drove off. 

After she got home, she tripped and fell breaking her nose and busting her lip wide open. She then proceeded to get up and get back in the car and drive to her parents’ house.  At 4:00 am they were awoken to her pounding on the door with blood pouring out of her face and her incoherently crying and freaking out.  Coach’s older sister came over to the house in the morning and cleaned Pooh up (she’s in the medical field), then reamed Pooh and told her to grow up; yelled at their parents for not taking Pooh to the hospital; and proceeded to lecture Coach for letting Pooh drive. 

To be fair, if I’d even had an inkling Pooh was a runner I’d have taken her keys from her right at the start.  If she ever goes out with us again, I’m going to make her wear one of those child leases.  I thought for sure SoCo would be done with her for good after this drama filled birthday but I’m not so sure now.  Yesterday they both took down any pictures they had of each other on Facebook but today he’s put pictures of her back up. 

Ahhhh doesn’t love when you’re divorced and in your 40s in a small town sound so romantic?


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