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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Life, Love, and Wisdom by Jules (HAHA)

My bff has the most amazing child in the universe (next to Chloe). I adore this kid. I've known her since she was a teeny tiny toddler and I've loved her even when I hated kids. She's probably the very reason I even have Chloe...I learned how great they can be from watching her grow up. Her mom and I have been bffs since I was 18. My goddaughter just turned 18 and has apparently hit a bit of a rebellious streak after many years of perfection. Last week, she put a post on FB about how her mom found out about her new tattoo and wasn't happy (although, I'd like to point out the bff has one on her ass). The goddaugther's tat is on her hip and is totally coverable in all types of scenarios. I suggested that maybe we ease up on the ink because gravity tends to not be kind as we age and what's hot now at 18, may or may not be hot when she's 50.

Thanks to my mother's views on tats, I've never so much as even thought about getting one. This was drilled into me almost as hard as the not leaving the house without your face on thing. I know my girls on here have them and they are all very tasteful, but it's just not me. (You guys should do a tattoo HNT.) I like them on my men, but again just not on me. Anyway, I digress.

A few years ago, my goddaughter started dating her first real boyfriend. He was much older (like 7 years older) and she was only 16. It ended disastrously when my bff found out about his age and that they were having sex and I can't remember all of the details, but a TRO may or may not have been issued for him. I remember some court dates and it was a huge dramatic mess and to my goddaughter's credit, she quit seeing him.

Flash forward to tonight...I received a series of texts from her around 1:30am her time telling me that she found out tonight that he'd cheated on her with like 8 other girls while they were dating and she was freaking out about never being able to trust another man ever again and she didn't think she could possibly talk to her mom about this situation. I got the texts about 30 minutes after she sent them and I texted her back to make sure she was up and then I called her. It seems that her computer crashed and she called him (admittedly a stupid move on her part) to see if he could walk her through fixing it. In the process, he proceeded to dump all of his baggage onto her in what I assume to be the usual attempt to wash his guilt away for being such a complete jackass. (I know I'm a jackass too.) She was sobbing into the phone and she asked me "Jules, how do you find men you can trust? I mean, how do you know that they aren't lying, cheating assholes?". My heart broke for her! He was her first and now she's freaking out that she may have something since he was cheating the whole time. After a quick review though, she's symptom free.

In the end, I convinced her to tell her mom but not in a preachy way, I had her laughing, and I told her that the good boys are usually the most trustworthy. The bad boys are way more fun, but they will break your heart and lie and cheat on you every time. I also taught her about karma. She was seeking revenge when I called and I told her she could do something like go slash his tires, which could potentially get her arrested OR she could wait it out. She may or may not ever see it for herself, but I assured her that karma would get him. Karma always gets me. I know it will come for my Owen obsession, though I'm willing to take whatever Lady K dishes for that one....it's worth it. I hope it's not worth it for him though, I hope it hurts (in a bad way).

In the end, I also hope I retain some of this wisdom and calm when Chloe has these issues. I doubt I will because it's closer to home when it's your own, but then I guess it will be my bff's turn to talk Chloe through it. Now, I really want to fly to VA Beach, hug her,  and then go wring his fucking balls. The irony of this is not lost on me.
-Jules

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