Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

The last two nights have been filled with fabulous sexting with Owen, but not without some crazy dreams and a hilarious iPhone auto correct mishap. Last night was filled with some super hot, naughty requests followed with steamy pictures and some fucked up dreams. I was smoking on the porch during sexting time with Owen and came in to finish our convo pretty damn high. I fell asleep late and when I did, I had an intense all night dream about Owen's wife catching us and exposing us to his kids! He and I sexted for hours last night in lieu of me being there with him. We started while Russell and Gwyn were at work. They unexpectedly came home early and I had to jump up and clean up and explain to him why no more visuals would be coming his way for a little bit. He sent me requests to do things he's never asked before and wanted me to "entertain myself" while I was hanging out with Gwyn drinking (he doesn't know I smoke). Gwyn, no worries I didn't do the things ...

Well I’ve got two dates lined up for the next few days. A pilot tonight and a construction guy Friday night. Whoever gives me the better night gets New Years Eve. But that’s not the point of this post, nor it is to fill you in on details about these guys who odds are will turn out to be duds. But I’m ok with those odds. Those odds are the very thing I want to talk about. As people in real life get to know me more and hear about some of my dating exploits, I get asked why I date so much. Why I keep putting myself back out there enduring an array of weirdos, freaks, emotional gimps, mama’s boys, oddballs, etc. The reason is I believe there somewhere out there, there’s a guy for me. A guy who is going to sweep my off my feet and be most, if not all, of the things I dream about. And if I’m sitting at home, how am I ever going to meet him? For every book/person/movie that tells you to just get out there and meet people, let me tell you what, it just doesn’t happen that way. In the last ...

It amazes me sometimes, really. I don't know why, but I thought once I ended things with Gavin that I would finally not have to deal with him and I definitely didn't think I would continue to blog about him, but his latest and greatest has provided me with some amusement today. Again, he's a freaking moron. I was working out with Damien this morning and he said Gavin came by yesterday with a message for me. I laughed and said "Oh, really...well, keep it to yourself b/c I don't care.". He said he comes by frequently with messages for me, but Damien doesn't relay them. Then, he proceeded to tell me that Gavin had come by the day before with a hot Brazilian girl on the back of his bike. That damn bike was always a point of contention for us b/c he hated I wouldn't ride on it. Damien pointed out that the girl wasn't hotter than I am, which also cracked me up b/c I do not care. He could be fucking a supermodel for all I care. Anyway, he told Damien ri...

I have issues...I know this. I'm mostly ok with them, until they rear their ugly heads...haha. Last night, Owen texted me and said he may have a side job on Kauai this week (Wed-Sat) and asked me if he could fly me over for a night of hot hotel sex if the job goes down. I immediately responded "OMG YES!!" b/c one of my issues is that I'm incredibly impulsive. We texted back and forth about it and the only day that I could do it would have been Wednesday b/c of Russell's work schedule. He said that would be awesome and we agreed I'd fly over that evening right after work and come home first thing Thursday morning so I could watch Chloe since school is out and so he could go to work. Then, I woke up this morning to a "Call me" text from Russell. It seems he had to demote one of his managers and ended up having to open and close his store today and was telling me about all the other schedule changes that will happen this week, including closing Wednes...

For this week’s TMI Tuesday why don’t you tell us: 1. What was your favorite gift that you received (gift giving holidays Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa  or heck even if you had a birthday in the month of December that can count)?   My favorite gift was a necklace that I picked out from Chloe and Russell. My mom sent me a card that made me cry...that was a close second. She's normally pretty funny and light, but I missed being with her this year for the holidays. - Jules I loved all of my presents I can't pick just one! - Gwyn Definitely the video Gwyn and Jules made for me with pictures of us and all the beautiful sites in Hawaii. Gwyn sent it Christmas Eve night so it was the waiting for me when I woke up Christmas morning. It made me laugh and cry and miss them like crazy.  - Miranda 2. What was the most practical gift that you received?   Soaps from Bath & Body Works. I love their hand soaps and it's a pain to go to the mall here and get them based on proxi...

It’s a good damn thing I have a sense of humor because I’ve had two epic dating fails this week. First up was a very nice and fun guy I’d been talking to via text and phone.   I was on the fence about him since he wasn’t officially divorced yet but I was giving him a potential by based on his behavior.   The pictures I saw on his profile were either action shots or shots with him wearing sunglasses.   As the week went along, we sent each other a few “real time” shots but again they generally were sunglasses shots.   Come to Friday, I sent him a pic and he returned the favor.   The good news is he wasn’t wearing sunglasses; the bad news is he was so not attractive.   SO NOT ATTRACTIVE.   I choked when I saw it.   Immediately closed my phone. Then opened it back up thinking surely I’d seen wrong.   Nope, still ugly.   I forwarded it to my email because surely things will look better on the computer.   Nope, even uglier.   I’v...

Yesterday morning, I saw Owen for some hot, steamy sex before the holiday weekend. Good Lord that man does amazing things to my body. The pre-workout workout worked against me this time though b/c I was so exhausted from the sex that I lacked serious energy and strength in my workout and I was 30 minutes late. I also thing one of our positions hurt me hip that made part of my workout hurt...oops! After the workout, I was sitting at a local food truck with Gwyn and Chloe and up walks Owen's daughter with presumably her grandmother. And then a few minutes later, up walks her mom to join them....yep, small town awkwardness seeing as 3 hours before her husband had been balls deep in my kitty and my ass. I felt an odd twinge of guilt sitting there, how strange for me. It passed as soon as we left though. The dose of crazy comes in 2 forms. The first one is Damien. He's still emailing me and talking about his feelings for me and how he loves me. I do not feed into it and usually ...

This is an  Eden Fantasys sponsored post just in time for the holidays. As one sex toy lover to another, I thought I would share what amazing holiday promotions they are currently offering. You only have 4 shopping days left until Christmas or perhaps you're interested in purchasing something sexy and fun for New Year's Eve! The current holiday theme at Eden Fantasys is Wish Sexy ! I love that slogan b/c  I always do!! This site has amazing ideas for her, for him, for couples, for friends, and even a section for under $30! Score b/c let's face it, Jules is on a budget!! I didn't know this until today when I was browsing their site, but they also have a ton of non-sex toy items too. They have all kinds of make-up, bubble baths, etc. They are also offering 15-30% off based on how much you spend and free shipping deals too. With the holidays in mind, Eden Fantasys is doing a sexy gingerbread contest ! I happened to make gingerbread cookies with Chloe tonight, so her...

This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season. 1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it. I'm an atheist, yet I celebrate Christmas. I'm very pagan about it though and really just put up a Christmas tree, decorations, buy presents, and celebrate Santa. I use this time of year to buy gifts for people and let everyone in my life know how thankful I am for them. - Jules   I'm celebrating Christmas though I don't get into the religious aspects of it.  The older I get the more I question stuff like that.  I believe in God but not organized religion if that makes any sense.  For me Christmas is about honoring people in your life who you love and care about. This Christmas is going to be really weird for me because it will be the first one I won't have the kids for and the first on...

So Friday afternoon Jethro was blowing up my phone with text in the variety of, “I really like you,” “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” and “I’ll explain everything tonight if you’ll let me.” I told him I’d love to hear his explanation for his weirdness and said I felt like this conversation deserved some face to face interaction. He eventually said he’d call me when he got home from work. Well you know Miranda doesn’t let any grass grow under her feet so I went about my afternoon/evening making plans for a double dose of girls’ night out with my friend D. The evening came and went and no word from Jethro. I put on my party pants and D and I hit the town. We ended up doing a little bar hopping and running into the nerdy weird IT guy from my old job who stalked Gwyn. He proceeded to tell me he’d started applying for jobs all over including, wait for it…..Hawaii. It took every ounce of my willpower not to do a spit take because Gwyn and I have joked about him following her to Hawaii...

Our friend, Kayla, at Eden Fantasys  has offered us a fun new opportunity to join the Eden Loves Bloggers program and write sponsored posts. In exchange for these posts, Eden Fantasy very graciously gives us gift cards that we can use for products!! Unlike doing regular product reviews, bloggers can write about a variety of topics not limited to just sex toys. (Of course, we all know the sex toys are Jules' favorite part!!) Eden has a huge community of readers online with a wide variety of interests. Since I've recently discovered my love of cooking (ok, well maybe not love so much as heavy like when the mood strikes...), I'll probably write about some of the Eden Cooks Club  recipes. Not that I subscribe to the whole 'a way to man's heart is through is stomach' thing, but because Jules likes to eat great food!! Another of the sections that we can post about is  SEXIS .  There are many great articles that caught my eye already ranging from tech toys that can...

I am super pleased (strike that to read giddy) to report that Gavin is leaving the island. I repeat, Gavin is leaving MY island. Throw me off the island? I don't think so...bitch. Bwahahaha!  Damien told me today that he ran into Gavin yesterday at the boat harbor. Gwyn and I had just passed Gavin as he was driving there and while they were apparently having a convo, she and I were on a run and I was lamenting how I don't hate him or wish him dead, but I really wish he would just move. It seems the universe heard me. According to Damien, Gavin told him yesterday that he's leaving on January 16th, already has a reservation, and his truck is for sale!! I started to ask several questions about where he's moving and what about his son and why would he leave in the middle of surf season, but then I stopped myself each and every time and realized I didn't really care to know any of the answers!  Damien also reported that he was with that guy that called me a couple ...

Man I've been waiting for a chance to use that song lyric in a post!!! I know you all remember that damn song and the insane music video..."Let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel". If you don't remember the song then you should check it out here , trust me it'll give you a good laugh. This week, OprahGwyn's lifeclass topic is "What can we learn from animals?" Oprah herself held this very lifeclass only a few short months ago. She discussed things like unconditional love, loyalty and patience. BORING. As a resident expert on animals (ignore the fact that I abandoned my own cats with my mom when I moved to HI) I would like to share my insights on this topic. Consent isn't always necessary. Sometimes you just have to chase your targets down, immobilize them and share your fluids with them.  If someone is trying to steal your mate away from you just beat them into submission (the potential mate-stealer not your mate, get your mind...

Well I have no real answers for you yet about Jethro. He texted me throughout the afternoon an array of things saying he was thinking about me and he hoped I wasn’t mad at him and that my feelings hadn’t changed. We spoke briefly and basically his reasons for his “weirdness” were that he’s feeling cash strapped at the moment and like he wouldn’t’ be able to take me out on all these dates he wanted to. Seems really out of the blue because we’ve only hung out twice and did things that didn’t cost any money so I’m not sure where this idea that I expect expensive dates comes from. We started to talk about this “party girl” perception he seems to have developed based on pictures he’s seen on Facebook and in my house. I got a little irritated talking about this and pointed out to him 1 – that most of the pictures are from last year and 2 – newsflash, girls take pictures when we get dressed up and go out; it’s not like I’m gonna post/hang pics of myself lounging on the couch in my yoga pa...

I think Owen is feeling the sting of my being tired of being the other woman comment, or perhaps he's just horny as hell and making up for the lost weeks where we weren't fucking...either way, I'm loving it. He texted me today about 3:30 to tell me that he suddenly found himself with some free alone time and wondered what I was doing. At the time, I was shuttling a boat load of packages to the USPS  and planning to go work out with Gwyn and Damien right after, but Damien wasn't home yet. I told him I'd meet him before my workout. We immediately started kissing and I was working my way out of my clothes. I was on my knees in front of him and he pushed his cock in between my legs and just rubbed back and forth. It was turning me on so much with the anticipation of him entering me. Finally I stopped kissing him and turned around and backed up to him. As he sat, I was on all fours fucking the hell out of his cock. It felt awesome!! I came like three or four times and ...

Well it seems the stars have spoken again. Take a look at my horoscope for the day. Romance could be a little like a roller-coaster ride right now. Feelings will be running high, and there is a higher chance of thinking or suspecting the worst and of noticing the less savory aspects of your sweetheart's behavior. It might help if you spend some time in conversation, being honest with each other. If this doesn't work, perhaps give each other some space. Last night Jethro and I didn’t talk because he had class till late and quite honestly I really didn’t think about it too much. I was busy with the kids and we’d texted all day so I wasn’t exactly jonesing to talk last night. I woke up this morning to a weird text from him apologizing for being “distant.” I was perplexed because I swear I had at least 50 texts from him during the day yesterday. I simply said no worries and asked what was going on. He replied that he didn’t really know but he was just feeling overwhelmed with...

We rec’d an email yesterday from someone telling us how much they enjoyed reading our blog and our stories. So, Mr. X this one is for you. I saw Owen last night and it was steamy, hot, amazing, omg sex. We were having trouble finding a time to meet up. He’s not working right now, but he’s super busy ferrying his kids around (I swear they don’t let those poor kids sit down for a minute) and I’ve been swamped with work, school, my own kid, working out, etc. Anyway, we were supposed to hook up Monday at my house (finally in my bed!) but sadly I left work at the time we were planning to meet, so that was a no go. Then he asked me about Tuesday and I said no b/c of my schedule. Then my schedule changed! Initially, I texted him about the time he’d given me the day before but he couldn’t get away then and b/c I’m PMSing like a mf, I got a little pissy. I told him that this other woman thing was starting to take its toll on me and I’m tired of having to wait around for him.    Then I ...

So last night Jethro came over and we hung out for a while. We just talked and watched TV and of course there was kissing – a lot of kissing. But that’s all. Miranda is on the straight and narrow. No sex till monogamy! Patti Stanger would be so proud. That being said, this post is not really about Jethro. Though he is still totally amazing if you were wondering ;) My thoughts today are about my boss. She’s kind of awesome. She’s just a few years older than I am and we have a ton in common including both being divorced and single moms. She’s a loud, wild sort of personality who doesn’t really have personal boundaries and I find her an entirely enjoyable person to be around. I think I’ve mentioned it a couple times but I even got her to get on Plenty of Fish a couple weeks ago and that’s given us tons to laugh about. She’s also super smart and really good at her job (not that there aren’t things I’d do differently but I keep those opinions to myself by and large). And our similaritie...

So Miranda has gotten swept off her damn feet people. Jethro, who I mentioned briefly in the “ Woo or Boo ” post, has just knocked this girl for a loop. Briefly, Jethro (not his real name – it’s a nickname he got in the marines) is 44, 6’3, brown hair with a touch of gray, hazel eyes, spent over 20 years as a marine, and lives just on the other side of town from me. He got out of the marines a couple years ago after spending all that time as an aviation mechanic and decided to take advantage of the GI bill and get some sort of advance degree in mechanics. He’s been in school and working at an automotive place full time ever since. He’s been divorced for about six years and he’s got a 16 year old son who lives a couple hours away. So about a week ago he messaged me on Plenty of Fish. I’d looked at his profile a few times before that so I was happy to reply. We exchanged a few messages back and forth and he asked for my number. We started texting and talking pretty much non-stop to th...

Well the full moon is bringing the crazy out in people...omg. This post is basically going to be an abbreviated venting session, so if you don't want to hear me kvetch, skip it. Men suck....sorry. We just had this super long reply to the Lesbian post that I'm not even going to dignify with a response, but let me just say that if women are like children then the world is fucked. Ok, moving on... Last night, Russell and I got into a fight because he was acting like a whiny bitch. In case you haven't gathered, Jules is over listening to whiny bitches right now. Anyway, he had a date scheduled for Saturday night but then got pissy when I reminded him (for about the 50th gd time) that I was going to a party and he was home with the kid. He actually asked me to come home early from the party. I basically laughed in his face and said no way. It went on for a while, but ultimately I went to my party tonight and had a fantastic time with some super fun women. I really wish I ha...

It’s time for my latest way overdue sex toy review. My apologies Kayla!   The kind people at Eden Fantasys sent me a Speeding Bullets Armor Piercing vibrator .   Sounds scary but all it’s going to do is knock your socks off! I’m hilarious.   Seriously this tiny little bullet vibrator packs quite an unexpected wallop. It’s tiny.   Like about the size of my pinkie finger and approximately an inch in diameter.   It’s got five, count them 1-2-3-4-5, amazing variations. Two different speeds and three pulsating options that definitely give your one-on-one time a little extra oomph.   The 5th setting is a crazy little alternation of a quick buzz followed by a longer one that repeats over and over and will drive even the coolest customer wild.  I know that's my favorite! This bullet comes in four great colors (thanks Kayla for sending me a color other than pink - my collection needed some variation lol).   Another cool thing about this friendly bul...