CRAZY

Oh Lord God, I'm scared of the dating world now because I think men just might be the craziest people on the planet...I now officially take this title off women. Let me just say, Miranda, that it's obvious Duckie is crazy by that last post of yours...indeed wtf??
While I was home in NC, I posted an ad on CL under the men for women section seeking someone to date. Crazy on my part?? Yes, of course it was...I'll admit to using that site for hookups and I've found some smoking hot guys on there (Owen included), but I don't think finding date worthy guy on there is gonna happen. Plus, it's really too soon for me to "date" anyone. I got a promising reply from this guy though that initially I thought was pretty hot, but then I decided that he's really not my "type" as far as someone I would want to eventually sleep with and since sex is the reason my marriage has failed...I'm pretty much into seeking that chemistry now. Call me a whore if you will...I can live with your judgements but I'm not marrying again unless the sex is mind blowing...and even then I probably won't marry him so that it will continue to be mind blowing.
Anyway, I digress...so I meet this guy and I tell him I don't think he's my type, but he keeps chatting me up. He seems like a really cool guy, so I tell him that if he's interested we can hang as friends, but I'm not sleeping with him. I know better than to tell men this because it does essentially trigger the crazy button, but I clearly wasn't thinking straight that week anyway.
He's emailed me a few times about hanging out since I got back and I'd kind of put him off because as you can read, last week was a little challenging. Yesterday though, I had agreed to hang out with him. We were going to the beach, but it was cold here in Hawaii, so I went over to his house. We talked for hours and it was a really great morning. I told him things about my family and situation that I'd never tell someone so early but he was just so easy to talk to and he was sharing a lot too. It seems he's the OG for one of the local gangs up here. That's all I'm going to say about that, but he's done time and what not and has really turned his life around...but you can't really ever leave a gang. I left feeling pretty good about the day and feeling like he's probably a good guy to know...until about 9pm last night when crazy hit. He called me and spent an hour and a half lecturing me on seeing Owen. He doesn't know who Owen is mind you, but he knows that an "Owen" exists. In fact their kids go to the same school, so it's actually quite likely that he does in fact know Owen. It's apparently driving him batshit crazy. He went on and on about the karma I'm bringing on myself and how small this island is and how things are going to blow up...wtf ever dude. I finally just shut down and quit talking so he hung up. This afternoon I emailed him a "Thanks for the offer to be my friend, but no thanks." This spawned a diatribe of emails again detailing how the shit will eventually hit the fan and I'll be run off the island and she (Owen's wife) will probably try to have my killed. I mean can you stand this?? I mean it went on and on - told me that I have addiction issues....I won't detail it all, but it was not pretty and clearly showed me what a nut he is...glad I found out so early in the game, but again I say...MEN ARE CRAZY.
Russell and I have had a good few days. He's working a lot this week, but is off this weekend and then he leaves for California on Monday for the week. I feel like things are moving back toward that friendship that we used to have and more toward the "new" normal.
-Jules

Comments

  1. And yes, I've noticed that my last three blog post titles are songs...have you? ;)
    -Jules

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  2. So tell me how this Craigs List hook up works. Since you first mentioned that you've used it, I've checked it out and it feels like shooting blanks. Who knows what you'd end up with? I did see one post that a guy put on there about "A Good Woman" that was actually pretty awesome. I emailed him and immediately he wanted a photo. The whole photo thing worries me. I can just see sending my photo to some dude and it ending up blasted on Facebook or something.

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  3. I'm sure you know this, Jules, but both women AND men are crazy! Well...some of them anyway. For every "crazy guy" story, I can match you with one about a "crazy woman". Unfortunately, there are crazy PEEPS everywhere. All you can do is hope to weed them out before you let them get too close, I think.

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  4. Miranda, sorry your first CL experience wasn't so positive. I will offer the male perspective, if I may. Like Jules, I have tried the CL personals and had some great luck. I have also met some weirdos and losers but..they really are pretty easy to spot early on. Jules and I actually met through another site, but it's the same basic concept.

    Anyway, first you should understand that like 97% of the ads in the "w4m" section of CL are fake. I am being literal here - virtually ALL are from spammers. I know that's not the section you were looking in but my point is that, as a result of all the fakes, men you find on CL are VERY skeptical of the replies they get. I have had men write me pretending to be a woman just to get my pics (or whatever). Even though my ads make it VERY clear that I am straight, I still have men write me sometimes offering oral sex (one even offered to pay me to let him do it - BTW....ewwww!!!) So, the reason that guy asked for your pic so soon was probably just because he wanted to make sure you were for real.

    As I said, I post on CL from time to time myself and I have checked out my "competition" in the "m4w" section, too. I think it's pretty easy to tell the potential good ones from the bad ones, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, good luck!

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  5. Miranda-

    I'll talk to a guy a little bit via email before I send my picture. I just explain that I need to know that they are normal, sane, etc before I send them any identifying information and I try to make them send me one first. Men are easy, so they usually comply. ;) There are a lot of toads on there though...and married men...so you have to weed carefully for what you are actually seeking.

    -Jules

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