Friday, February 26, 2010

Big Girl Panties

I put them on tonight and did what needed to be done and it sucks and I'm super sad over the prospect of not continuing this SUPER hot affair with Owen, but I knew what I needed to do with the information that he gave me. Here's the email I just sent him...now I'm going to finish this bottle of wine I started earlier and mourn the end of some of the hottest sex I've ever had....but I'm a better person for doing it. I wonder if it lasts. ;)

Christ Almighty, it appears I have a conscience. You added grey into my very black and white universe this morning and I have struggled with it ALL day. Owen, I don't know what to do with what you told me today. Well, I do...I just don't want to have to be the one that says it. I'm sooooo tired of people putting me in the position to make decisions for them, but honestly how can I continue to see you when you told me what you did? I've retyped and erased this email like three times already, but I need to talk about this and not just ignore it as I'm often apt to do. You can't tell me in one sentence that you're trying to make things right with your wife and work on your marriage and in the very next one tell me that you still want to see me. It pains me to say this, literally pains me, because the sex we have is the best ever...but one of us needs to stand up and do the right thing. I'm not judging you and I hope that you get that, but I am saying that I can't be the woman that stands in between a family being together. My mama raised me better and it's damn time I started acting like it at 33 years old. If you are going to make an effort in your marriage, then you can't fuck other women on the side. I love, love, love being with you and I'm not saying that you have to leave for us to fuck, but you can't be "working" on things in your marriage...that's just not right. It was different when I thought things just sucked and you were muddling through because of your kids, but to actually know that you're putting effort into it is something that I don't feel comfortable standing in the way of. I'm open to discussing this because I get that it was a quick text conversation, but I think deep down you probably know I'm right or you wouldn't have brought it up.

Go me! I am woman, hear me roar!


  1. Damn Girl! Those are some mighty big panties you put on. Good for you! Infidelity is definitely a gray area morally but you do have to know your limits. Good for you for sticking up for what's "right" no matter who agrees/disagrees with our lifestyle choices.

    I'm totally with you on the fooling around when you're unhappy is one thing but if you're working on things with your partner, no way can you play these games.

    Let us know what happens. I predict a surprising response from Owen.

  2. I'm waiting...he obviously hasn't read this yet. I'll make sure to post his reply and not leave you guys hanging. I think much like Russell though, he'll be happy that I made the choice for him. I wish the men in my life could all grow a freaking pair already!