Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

I’ve blown up the blog this weekend so I figured I’d post one more update before I imagine I’ll enter some silent time as I lick my wounds.   Late last night Coach did call me.   He tried to play the pity card hard about but I wasn’t hearing any of it.   He said he had called my bluff about showing up at her house because he thought no way would I actually take things that far.   He said he’d stayed gone and non communicative so much of yesterday because he knew I was going to be mad and he hoped I’d have time to cool down.   WTF?   I asked him what he really expected to have happen after yesterday. Did he think I was going to be ok last night when he popped by to finally say hello? Did he think I’d just let it slide?   I told him he’d made his choice when he packed up his stuff and walked out yesterday.   He knew what was going to happen and he forced my hand.   He kept saying how sorry he was and that I deserved so much more.   An...

Well it’s done.   About 7:45 I was out running errands and saw Coach’s car at the Ex’s house. My anger got the better of me and I texted him and told him he had until 9 pm to show his face at my apartment or I was coming to her house to talk to him.   After ignoring my text all day that sure got his fucking attention. He texted right back and asked if I was joking.   I told him I’d never been more serious in my life.   He said if you come here I’ll be so mad.   I didn’t answer him. About 8:15 he said he was playing with his boys and would call me ASAP.   I said I sure hoped it was before 9.   8:45 came and I got a text that he was getting ready to leave.   9 pm came and no call or appearance so Miranda called his bluff and got in her fucking car. The EX lives less than a mile from me so I zipped over there and parked at the end of her street and tried to call him. I got a text back to chill out so I told him I was chilling at the end of her ...

I woke up this morning and got up before Coach. I was hopefully that today would go better than last night. I got on my gym clothes and was sitting on the couch when he got up.   We talked for a few minutes and things felt ok.   He said he was going to go over to his parents while I was at the gym.   He jumped in the shower and I heard his phone ring.   As a joke a long time ago I set the ringtone to be the wicked witch theme for his crazy EX and that’s who was calling.   He got out of the shower and I told him the EX had called and he said I wonder what she wants.   I laughed bitterly and said you know she wants to know when you’re coming to see the boys.   He said that wasn’t going to happen and he kissed me bye and I went to the gym. 55 hard minutes later I finished on the elliptical and strolled out to my car feeling mildly refreshed after getting out some long held aggression.   I jumped in the car and pulled out my phone and had a coupl...

When my fairly affluent grandparents met my Daddy for the first time, this was the phrase my grandmother used in response to the meeting. "Just pray"...pray that he doesn't end up a part of this family. Today, my Mama met Gavin with much the same reception. Both of them were very curious about the other, so I decided to let it go forth. I decided that it would be ok to introduce Gavin to my mother because I knew that if I didn't facilitate it happening, he would just show up at some point and better to do it when I had some control of it. He called me like 4 times this morning before I finally told him that we were at a certain beach and he could come by if he wanted. He did in fact come by and chatted my Mama up the entire time, but when he left (after several redirection reminders of boundaries since he was talking to MY mama) she had nothing to say. This is my Mama's way of just keeping things pleasant. In true Southern lady form, if she doesn't have an...

Well Miranda’s weekend is off to a raging start.  After a long Gwyn-less day at work, I hit the batting cages for some post work stress relief and had an actually fun lingering dinner with my mom and sister in law. Coach was on his way home and I was actually feeling a little hopeful and positive about this weekend.  I got home about 10 pm.  Coach got here about 10:15.  We reunion kissed, albeit a bit warily since we’ve been fussing lately.  He started his post drive routine of jumping in the shower to freshen up for what was sure to be some good sex and literally before his pants were all the way off his phone rang. It was his oldest son calling and wanting Coach to come and pick the boys up and take them home.  They’ve been staying with their grandma the last few days while their mom traveled for work. Apparently her plane is getting in an hour and a half later than it was supposed to so their grandma had the oldest boy call Coach to see if he’d come ge...

On the way to get Chloe and my mom today, I got the best text ever from Owen. It also made me literally laugh out loud. Owen: " I was in the store yesterday and looked down at my shirt and it was covered in your pussy juices from when I had it on while fucking you". (Initially yesterday, we didn't even bother to get undressed fully until it was time for the hard core fucking,) Next text a few minutes later because I was driving and couldn't reply just yet " So I wiped my face with it!" -Jules

I was disappointed on an epic level yesterday at 4:25am when United called to tell me that Chloe and my Mom would not be arriving that day as planned. Their flights were cancelled on one of the legs and they couldn't get out to get here until today. It worked out in the end though and I had time to clean the house some in my manic way. It also afforded some great sex time for one last night of kid free fun. First off, I had been up until 12:15am the night before texting with Owen. He wanted to meet up yesterday and we arranged to meet before work...at 7am. I'm so not a morning person, but I will get up for sex anytime. He did not disappoint. It was actually amazing as always and I got to learn a little something else about him which has made me chuckle repeatedly since. I've always thought that he had perfect vision, it turns out he does not. Not only does he not have perfect vision, sometimes he wears glasses. These glasses are the total black rimmed geek glasses. They l...

Yesterday I chewed out Coach for acting like a frat boy and for the kid situation.   I’ve been struggling with the long distance lately and I think it just has built up and came out in volcanic proportions yesterday.   Ok maybe not volcanic but it was definite a geyser of frustration.   I don’t know what’s going on.   July has just been a bad month for us.   Our communication has been off and frankly, he’s been getting on my nerves lol.   The acting like a college frat boy is my realization that many of Coach’s bad habits come from him living like a party boy for the last three years with little if any responsibilities.   He’s still very much a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy.   I mean hell he doesn’t even budget his money.   Just spends whatever he wants whenever he wants (which has led to him overdrawing his account more than once in the last few months).   Constantly reinjuring his self.   I really don’t want to bitc...

I don’t know what is going on in the universe right now, but it seems like every single person I know (literally) is in some kind of change, transformation, metamorphosis, etc. I don’t mean the normal kind either…I mean big, life altering kind of change. I’m also taking a class right now on Native Hawaiian practices with regards to setting things right in the universe. One of the practitioners worked at the State Hospital years ago as the clinical director of the criminally insane ward. In four years, he worked himself out of a job using this practice. When he started at the hospital, no one wanted to work there. Inmates were shackled all day and on very high doses of psychotropic meds. Using ho’oponopono, the Dr. worked on an individual level and cured these people. He took their names, read their files, and never met with the patients individually. This was a radical approach for sure, but it worked and at the end of his time the ward closed b/c there were no more inmates. They had ...

Well I did get to see Coach this weekend but not quite in the way I expected.   Saturday afternoon playing basketball with his boys, he landed wrong somehow and sprained his heel.   Yes his heel.   WTF? He managed to get the boys back to their mom and then drove himself to his parents’ house hoping they could take him to the emergency room because he couldn’t put any pressure on his heel at all.   As luck would have it, they weren’t home so he called me.   So I got to spend about two hours schlepping him to the ER, the pharmacy, and back home. I told him today that the injury wasn’t an excuse for failing to follow through on us spending some time together with our kids.   (He got his kids back for several hours Saturday evening though he didn’t keep them overnight since he was hobbling around on crutches.)   I told him today that I wasn’t trying to rain on his parade but that I wasn’t ok with being shut out yet again from doing anything together w...

Yesterday morning Gavin called me and said that he definitely wanted to go to the party. I agreed and he told me that he needed to come over to my house to do some things like laundry and wash his truck. I had to go  do something for school all afternoon and when I came home, we went and hung out on the beach drinking some beer. Initially Russell had kicked Gavin out for a little while because he was trying to have a boy over, but due to my proximity to coming home, he cancelled it. Gavin and I came home from the beach and showered together and laid around waiting to go to town to the party. The couple called us with directions on where to go and Gavin and I started getting frisky. Russell was home and awake and we had no noise barriers, but we decided we really needed to fuck right then. I sat on his lap in my desk chair because this is the quietest place for us to fuck and I basically bit my tongue not to scream as I was cumming. After I'd cum, I hopped off of him and sucked hi...

Oh lord this would have been funnier if I wasn't so dead tired. I have had 4 14 hour days in a row this week and last night I had every intention of coming home and crashing in my bed. Owen had texted me earlier in the day to see what was up after work, but I'd told him after work for me would be 9pm and he didn't think he could swing that. Then, Gavin called and asked if he could come over and spend the night and I also informed him of my late night, but it seems he had a Home Depot date with his lesbian neighbor, so it worked out perfectly for him to come. I called him after I got home and showered and he said he was on the way. He called back en route and told me to put on the sexy black dress (remember the Owen sex story? that one...) for him. I had no sooner put it on and put my feet into the super sexy, super slutty shoes when Russell arrived home, promptly followed by Gavin. It was a little bit of buzz kill that Russell had just walked in, but Gavin couldn't ta...

I sure wish I had a magic mirror right now.   This is the first weekend Coach has his boys and I’ll be in town with my kids at the same time.   I’d love to foresee the future and know if Sunday evening I’ll be pleasantly pleased or an angry wench.   Since he did a craptastic job of keeping in touch via phone/text while I was at the beach and he had his boys, I’m feeling less than enthusiastic about how things will go this weekend.   Plus since I’m in town, if there’s no face-to-face interaction Miranda’s going to have to take the gloves off and give him a big smack down.   I was cool with keeping things on the down low leading up to the court/visitation stuff but now that it’s all down and on paper there’s not a reason in the world that we can’t do stuff all together.   I’m not expecting nor do I want a full on Brady Bunch weekend but it’d be nice to at least all have dinner together or go swimming or something. Keep your fingers crossed! Miranda

On Wednesday at 2:45PM EST (8:45am HI time) I received the following text from McDreamy - "I think I'm in love." I knew this was coming. I consulted with Miranda as to how to respond and I went with "I think I am too."  He then said, "Nooo don't be a copycat." And that was the extent of the text conversation. I called him and the vibe I got was that he was a little nervous and sort of embarrassed about it and wasn't ready to actually say it in person or elaborate. We started talking about baseball and his favorite team (the Phillies) and I was telling him how I've seen a bunch of Phillies bumper stickers around here lately. He said, "Yeah lots of people want to get on the bandwagon now." I said, "Well I'm glad I got on the bandwagon early while there was still room." Then he said, "It's ok for you to get on the bandwagon because you have a real reason. When people ask you why you like the Phillies you ju...

I think I may be pushing Russell's buttons right now. He's been tense with me this week after walking in on Gavin and I Sunday night. I haven't really been at home much, but when I have he's avoided me in his room. Monday night, he was almost chatty via text but I think I made a choice last night that returned the awkwardness somewhat.    Gavin called me yesterday and asked if he could spend the night. He's very in tune with our comings and goings these days. He had heard Russell mention that he might spend Tuesday night at his bf's, so he thought it would be safe. As it turned out Russell was home, but was in his room (sleeping?) when I got home at 7:30pm. Gavin came over around 8:30 and we hung out watching parts of movies b/c we couldn't settle on one. I was doing homework and he was teasing me on the couch until I made him stop, reminding him of being caught Sunday night. He asked me if I thought I wanted to hang out this weekend and maybe go over to the...

What was the last thing you regret buying? My house. -Gwyn I'm pondering this and I would have to say I've got nothing. I rarely have buyer's remorse b/c I think about things before I buy them now in a way I haven't before due to very limited space in my houses in HI. I used to impulse shop all the time, but now I only buy it if I love it. - Jules Hmmm. Buying into the belief that I wanted to be a career woman? - Miranda What was the last sex toy you regret buying? I don't own any sex toys. -Gwyn The Japanese nipple clamps...holy fuck they almost made me cry and not in a good way! - Jules A vibrating cock ring. Way underwhelmed by it. But then again it was like $5 and I made Coach pay for it. - Miranda Briefly describe a time when you had sex and you shouldn't have. Why did you do it? I slept with a friend's boyfriend one time back in college (The Inmate). We all went out to a bar. She got shitfaced wasted and passed out on the bathroom floor an...

Gavin called me tonight and asked to come over and hang out. He'd asked earlier about dinner, but since he's a meat and potatoes guy and I'm now a vegetarian/pescetarian, he was not interested in what I was cooking. He noted Russell was home, but decided to come anyway and watch a movie with me on the couch. During the movie, we smoked and had some wine and then he reached over and pulled my shorts over to start licking me...and then Russell walked out to pee...awkwardness ensued. I know he caught this one because he frowned at me and motioned for Gavin to get off of me. Damn it...clearly my judgement was lacking, but that's not an excuse...I need to learn better judgement and boundaries. Just not tonight... ;) After an appropriate amount of time passed (and my movie ended), I met Gavin in my room for some fabulous, quiet, muffled sex. I licked him to get him hard again and then he commanded me to sit on his cock. We fucked like we did the other night where he let m...

Jules is no longer a virgin...with girls. Gavin and I went to another swinger's party last night. We were kinda off our game and oddly not feeling overly sexual when we got there. I'd blown him earlier in the day and we'd been hanging out drinking and smoking all day. I was totally wiped out yesterday and actually didn't even leave the house until we left to the go to the party. We get to the party and the sheriff guy was being really weird. There were a lot of fat people there and that was grossing us out (sorry if you're large...we're not into watching you fuck), but there were some hotties too. I thought this one guy was smoking hot, but about an hour into the party he and his gf came out on the balcony where Gavin and I were hanging out and started having a crazy fight, so thankfully we avoided that drama. There was another girl that I thought Gavin would totally be into, but he wasn't. Then this hot older couple came out who were probably mid 40s. The...

It has to come, I'm waiting for it. I know it will catch up with me, but as I've said before I think whatever it is will still make all this fun worth it. (Ok, well maybe I shouldn't thumb my nose at the karma gods...) I swear to all that is holy, I'm loving my life at the moment (sexually). Owen started blowing my phone up yesterday afternoon. It started with a simple "So horny..." text to which I replied "Then let's fuck!". I was teasing regarding right then because I was on the way out the door to meet a girlfriend for dinner. I told him I'd sent him the video that Myli posted on her blog (  http://asiangirlheartswhiteboys.blogspot.com/ ) and suggested he watch it...ASAP. Then he sent me a video of him.  He watched the one I sent him last night and sent me some super steamy texts afterwards. We sexted through us cumming and then fell asleep. It's funny how phone sex has now evolved into text sex. We could never have phone sex while ...

...between a secret admirer and a stalker, and the Chinless Wonder has officially crossed that line. If you link back to my original post on this guy you will see that he has been trying to get me to go out with him, often under the guise of 'just as friends', for a good 6-8 months. In fact, Miranda and I also established that he tried to talk to me on POF (before he ever worked here) and I suggested the possibility of him getting a job at my workplace for no other reason than to insert himself in my life. It sounded like a crazy notion at the time but now I'm not so sure I was wrong. Well, I've been deflecting his advances steadily from the start. He's asked me to dinner, rollerblading, movies, lunch, walk in the park...he kept trying to convince me that he doesn't have any "active friends" and he just wants somebody to do "active things" with. Most of the time I would gently put him off and tell him I'd think about it or tell him I...

Monday coming back from the beach, I was planning my week out in my head and because I was in vacation mode, I totally didn’t think about anything that I had actually planned to do.   So my dream Monday thoughts were, “Oh I’m going to have three nights of just coming home, one night of bartending, then Coach will hopefully be home and I’ll have a nice relaxing weekend.” Fast forward to reality and this is what Miranda’s week has been like. Monday – Home from beach, furious cleaning, and then taking care of Coach with his back injury. Tuesday – Work (Gross), Gym, taking care of Coach Wednesday – Gym, Work (Still Gross), Wine Wednesday dinner with the girls, sex with Coach (Yah!) Thursday – Work (Absolutely disgusting), bartending at work concert, home falling asleep to avoid Coach who’s hopped up on prednisone and grouchy Friday – Gym, Work (I mean really does the madness ever end), helping Gwyn get ready for the Hawaii yard sale, movie with previously grouchy Coach who see...