Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Slight Scare

There is a downside to fucking older men. They have health issues. I'm in my mid 30s and Gavin and Owen are both in their early 40s, but things start happening around this age it seems. Gavin and Owen both have a lot of physical pains b/c of how hard they run their bodies. Both of them are very active and still act like they are in their 20s, when in fact they are not. I've mentioned Owen's recent back and shoulder pains, but it also seems he's having an issue with his eyes. He mentioned it a few weeks ago that they were bothering him, but honestly I couldn't tell anything. If anything, he looked just a little bloodshot and tired when he brought it up.

Yesterday, he went for his work physical and failed the eye exam. Because what he does for work is very visual, he's on sick leave until this is cleared up. The doctor wants to run some blood work and do some tests because they aren't sure what's going on. It seems it's not just old age, normal vision failure. I got the following texts from him.

Owen: " Hey! Weird question...I'm having a bunch of blood work tests for a problem with my eye, they say can be linked to HIV and things of that sort. Have you been tested for anything lately? Are you still sexually active with your husband who is still sexually active with others as well? Kinda scary here..."
(Side note: Owen is very paranoid about the gays. He's pretty sure they all have HIV/AIDS. I know intellectually he knows better, but we almost quit seeing each other when he freaked out over Russell's sexuality. We started using condoms per his request for like 2 weeks and then he got over it when I assured him we had both been tested numerous times.)
Me: "I was tested in May (2011) for everything and it was all clean. I haven't had sex with him since January 2010."
Owen : "Cool, thank you!!!!"
Me: "What kind of eye problem do they think you have that would be HIV related?"
Owen: " Not sure...guess they are checking for everything."
Me: "Well, I've been tested 5 times since I started seeing you in January 2009, so I think if you have anything it would have come up by now! I think you can rest easy on that front."
Owen: "I haven't been tested in awhile, but you are the only one I've been with, so if you are clean I'm hoping I am too! Will keep you posted!"

What kind of Dr. goes straight to that? Obviously, I only know part of the story, but I know that I'm clear with the HIV thing based on my last May test, still  scary all the same. I trust him and I do think I'm the only person he's fucking and I think if he had anything I definitely would have tested positive by now. It does make me wonder though if his wife is being faithful and about his previous partners...could something have been dormant?? You hear about couples all the time (especially in the gay community...not trying to perpetuate the false stereotype but just saying) where one partner is positive and the other remains negative despite having had unprotected sex with the infected partner. I'm trying to work myself back down from the 'oh shit' moment, but my mind is spinning a little bit. The timing of this after the whole Brooklyn debacle is a little unsettling too.


  1. Sending positive vibes your way. I hope everything turns out well for both you and Owen. Keep us posted.

  2. Weird! Seems like there could be a ton of possibilities before a DR would jump to even mentioning HIV. I'll keep my fingers crossed!


  3. Yeah it kind of freaked me out that the Dr. even suggested such a thing, but I honestly don't think that's the case. We've had sex for years and I'm pretty sure if he was positive, I would be too and I'm not.
    Thanks for the positive (well, you know what I mean) vibes! ;) I'll report on the end results when I hear them.