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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Channeling My Inner Samantha

If we had gone with all Sex and the City names, I would definitely have been Samantha. She's my favorite and the one I relate to the most. I woke up a little out of sorts this morning over the whole judgement thing by Brooklyn. It really pissed me off, but I also used it as a time to reflect some on myself.

Truthfully, I texted Clark to ask his opinion. It's a sad day when he's my moral compass, but I needed some honest feedback and I knew he'd provide it. Basically, he told me that I'm wrong. I can't expect men to want to date me on any level really, serious or otherwise, if I'm fucking other men....especially other men that I've been fucking for years.I still disagree with this assessment, but I'm curious how our readers answer the poll...be honest.

I was sitting on the couch this morning watching the aforementioned show and it's the episode where Carrie walks in on Samantha servicing the delivery guy in her office. My favorite line was when Samantha has confronted Carrie about judging her and she retorts "I will not be judged by you or society.  I will wear whatever and do whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel." Amen, sister!
-Jules

5 comments:

  1. Jules, I disagree with Clark. I think the key is honesty. I think any partner deserves to know about one's extracurricular activities if he asks. No one should assume monogamy unless it has been explicitly discussed and agreed upon. If Brooklyn felt so strongly about this issue, he really should have asked before he had sex with you. He is in no position to judge you and what he said to you was completely disrespectful.

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  2. Jules you know I agree with you and Holly. As long as you're open and honest about what you're doing, it's up to the guy to decide if he can deal with it or not. I've never known you to be less that forthright so I think these guys just need to be realistic about what they can tolerate. Brooklyn needs to grow up. I'm not sure what he expected to have happen after he used the "dirty" word.

    Miranda

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  3. Thanks guys...you're right. He should have asked that before he decided to have sex with me the first time if it was going to be an issue. I told him "No" several times and then I finally caved, but in hindsight that really should have been his sign to ask at that time! As soon as he asked, I was very honest. I didn't volunteer the information beforehand b/c 1. He didn't ask and 2. I'd only known him for a week and a day! Ugggg, men.

    I will say that I think Clark is ultimately right though with regards to if I find someone that I'm seeing for a longer period of time, then I will have to make some decisions regarding my other partners and determine priorities, but we're not there right now. After some retail therapy and some sunshine today, I'm over it.
    -Jules

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  4. As much as it pains me to agree with Clark, I will say that I do in this case. By that I mean that I believe he's right that you can't expect another guy to take you seriously (in terms of wanting a relationship) if he knows you are sleeping with other people. No one has the right to call you dirty though, not in any instance - no matter who you are sleeping with.

    If you find the right guy and the guy you WANT to be in a relationship with then at that point you may have to make some tough decisions. I think Clark's point is that you are unlikely to find Mr. Right or be open to him if you're so attached to other men. My only point of contention with that is that I do believe Mr. Right would accept your situation but would ask you to change it. He wouldn't behave how Clark did.....

    I guess you just have to decide what it is your truly want...if it's Gavin and Owen then maybe there's really no point in parusing POF and Craigslist...but if Gavin and Owen aren't fulfilling you fully then maybe it's time to cut them loose for a bit and see what else is out there. Or you can keep doing it the way you're doing it, which I truly think is a perfectly good way, it just really depends on what you want and how you feel.

    72 days!!!!!!!

    -Gwyn

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  5. CLARK!?!!?!?! You go to a socio for relationship advice?? OMG...i'm gonna forget that, I can't dwell on that. Especially since right now I am not the best person to give advice either, so I'm not
    I do think however that if Brooklyn wanted a relationship, asking about other sexual partners is something you do before you have sex, doing it afterwards seems a little hypocritical to me.
    Josie

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