Sunday, June 26, 2011

Judge Much??

I hate judgmental people. If I wanted your Puritanical Christian values imposed on me, I'd join your club, but since I haven't...shut it. Jules is pissed today. I should be relieved but I'm not because while I was pretty much over the Brooklyn situation, he imposed his judgement on me today and it has not set well.

Back it up, he called me today to hang out at the beach. I agreed, but he didn't call me when he said he would so I left to head to my favorite resort here. It's North Shore and they have a restaurant on the beach and serve great cocktails and wonderful food. I parked my ass there and waited for him to find me. He showed up and we hung out for a while and talked and then went to eat. While we were eating, he asks me if he's the only person I'm sleeping with. Well, when you ask me a direct question like that, I'm going to give you a direct answer. I said "No, is that a problem for you?" (Please keep in mind this is date 4 in 1 week and 1 day!) He replied that it was and I told him that I was sorry, but that was why I said I just wanted to date and then he said he thought it was "dirty". Really?? You're going to sit there and call me dirty? I replied that I supposed he had some things to think about, but it was sunny and I was going to lay out. I promptly got up and left the table. I assumed he would come fetch his things and leave. I was wrong.

He walked down the beach about 15 minutes later and kissed me. He told me that he enjoyed hanging out with me and that he liked spending time with me. I told him I thought he should cut his losses because I was never going to be what he wanted or expected. I laid back down and enjoyed the sun, but hated the awkwardness of him just continuing to sit there. If you're going to call me a dirty whore, then you need to move the fuck on. I got up to pee without announcing where I was going, texting Miranda along the way. Much to my surprise, he was still there when I got back. I told him that it was raining (only sprinkling) and that I was leaving. He got up and picked up my stuff. I told him I'd brought it down and I could carry it without help and then I turned to go. He called after me and said he didn't mean to offend or hurt me and I just simply replied "Well, you succeeded" and walked off. I meant that with regards to the offended part. I'm not hurt. I could care less from a dating standpoint, but from a human standpoint I'm pissed off on an epic level that someone would say such bullshit to me after dating me for like a week. He told me that he wasn't trying to make me qualify our relationship, but he wanted to know that if I was fucking him that I wasn't fucking anyone else...sure seems like he was making me qualify it.

He didn't follow me, so I have no idea how long he stayed. Chloe called me as I was storming off to my car and I had a great convo with my Baby Pooh. I miss her a lot. I also miss Gavin a lot. He called me at 2:30am today and I was sleeping, but managed to have some sort of convo with him. He called me back this morning and we talked for a while. He told me that he's not coming back with a lot of money, but he wants to use what he has to send the gf to Maui for a week so that he can hang out with me for a week. That speaks volumes, but in the interest of not judging...ok. I have missed him and I have missed how much he cares about me and how he doesn't judge me. He just accepts me for who I am and I expect everyone to do that....am I wrong to expect this?? Has his lack of judgement ruined me?

PS The real irony of the Brooklyn situation is that during lunch, right before he asked me that fated question, he told me that I'm a dream date b/c of how much I love intimacy and how simple I am with regards to other areas in life. One more time, really???

PPS Flash forward 4 hours and Brooklyn called and left a voice mail that said he was sorry about choosing the wrong words today and that he really hoped to see me again. Why? Because he didn't actually get to use the word "whore"? I mean where does he think you go after this? He didn't use the wrong word today. He used a word that totally offended me, but it was the word he was thinking. You can't back peddle from that. There is no recovery from telling someone that is sleeping with more than one person that you think it's dirty and that you are not ok with it, but that you still want to see them.

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