Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

I took this quiz this afternoon while I was killing time waiting to meet a friend for lunch and the beach. I found it funny. Clark IMed me yesterday to tell me he's leaving the island (yay!) on May 15th. Miranda thinks his point was hoping for farewell sex, which ain't happening! It did however make me think about my submissive vs dominant side and how far he pushed me sexually. I have moved from loving him to hating him, but I will always appreciate the things he taught me to enjoy. As you can see though, I never really learned submission. If you want to take the quiz, here's the link. ;) - Jules http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/ You Scored as  Switch (((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want b...

I think it's smaller on an island. This could all be coincidence, but I'm thinking maybe not. Gavin has been around all day today. He's actually getting kicked out of his place because one of his roommates moved out and didn't pay the rent, so he's trying to butter me up to move back in for a little bit while he figures his shit out. Things are up in the air on that end, but I digress. He finally went home to check on his kid who has a concussion and he had left the kid home alone. He called a few minutes ago to tell me that he didn't think he could come back down because his son had left home while he was down here earlier this evening and the mom found out and called to yell at him. I did too, I told him to stay home and take care of his kid! Anyway, he came over earlier today while the kids were in school and we had fantastic sex and then I picked up Chloe, ran some errands, dropped Chloe off with a friend of mine, and went to grab us crab legs for dinner. ...

The stress factor with school escalated up a few notches the other day when I realized I hated my practicum site, that they were totally unethical, and that I wanted out. I met with my supervisor on campus last night and accomplished getting out. It left me with some free time this week and what does Jules like to do her in free time? Yep, the boys! Owen texted me this morning to see when I was free this week. His birthday is on Thursday, so he's wanting some birthday sex. Incidentally, April is my favorite month because we fuck like bunnies this month with all the birthday sex mixed in with our normal sex. I told him as it happened I was free until 2pm today. He suggested lunch at my place. In the interim, Gavin called to see what I was up to today. I told him I'd quit practicum and was in the process of finding a new site. He said he had to work and suggested I come hang out at the beach where he was trimming trees. I said I would and then about 15 minutes later he showed...

Last time you cried. Probably a couple weeks ago thinking about my dad. - Miranda Friday, after a sobering conversation with a realtor. -Gwyn Last Thursday when Chloe won her school's storytelling contest - Jules Last time you had an orgasm. Last night with Coach and his awesome hands! - Miranda Hmmmmm I guess that would be with Popeye on our visit to Hawaii. I'm still a born again virgin since then. -Gwyn Saturday night with Gavin - Jules Last time you said I love you. This morning when I was leaving for work (said to Coach)   - Miranda Last night. Don't get excited, I said it to my Mom and Grandmother. -Gwyn 10 minutes ago when I dropped Chloe off at school - Jules Last time you kissed someone. This morning when I said bye to Coach. - Miranda Popeye holds this honor as well. This is getting a little depressing lol. -Gwyn Last time I saw Owen  - Jules Last place you want to be right now. Sadly where I'm at right now - at my desk at the hellhole I call work....

So Gwyn and I just got out of an enormously annoying 4+ hour work meeting and instead of being a dutiful employee and getting some work done with what little is left of my day, I’m choosing to blog. Despite my DC trip being canceled so Coach could come home and meet with his lawyer, we did have quite a lovely weekend.  Lots of time just hanging out, running errands, seeing family, and lots and lots of sex.  For a 43 year old man I swear I think his penis must be only 21. Thursday we were just lazy and did dinner and a movie (Hall Pass – hilariously funny).  We had both had a couple drinks at dinner and I decided to play my favorite game with is to whisper dirty things that embarrass Coach in public.  It’s so easy to get him hot and bothered and then he gets all embarrassed in public. It cracks me up.  As we were driving from dinner to the movie he got me back though.  He made a crack about teaching me a lesson by embarrassing me in the car and next thing ...

Jules has been sucked into the end of the semester school crunch. I've also kind of figured out what I want to do with my life and that's been super overwhelming for me with regards to how to make it go from brain child to actual reality. I had one of those moments this week though where the universe totally took me where it wanted me to go and it was kind of trippy. This week was fairly uneventful from a boy standpoint. I was supposed to see Owen on Thursday morning, but it was cancelled due to my child performing at school and his need to go bid on a side job. We were going to try to reschedule for this morning, but there's just too much going on around here today to get away with Easter and all. I'm actually really big on holidays from a totally pagan standpoint,  so holiday times are totally kid focused. Gavin has been ever present. We had breakfast together the other morning as I was on the way to a conference. I picked him up from the dirt bike shop where his ...

I had to take a moment this morning to share a funny story. I've written about my grandmother before on this blog (I have a separate blog all about her, but I've been so busy with life that it's been neglected) and it's safe to say she's one sassy lady. I don't know if it's the impending arrival of my uncle for Easter or if Fridays just bring it out in her but this morning she was a ball of hilarity. I called her a few minutes ago to discuss retrieval of some Netflix dvds that she has at her house for me. One of them is something I ordered (Modern Family if you're curious) and the other, according to my grandmother, is "some strange movie with that weirdo Angelina Jolie that your mother ordered for me but I'm not watching that crap." My guess is it's the movie Salt but who knows for sure. And that's not the funny part. We had a brief conversation about taxes - she is very bent out of shape at the amount of taxes she had to pay a...

Well my second DC trip has been thwarted. I’m starting to think the universe really doesn’t want me to be in DC for some reason. Coach and I had been planning for me to come up for a long weekend over Easter so that we could do a little sight seeing. I LOVE DC! I’ve been several times and I never fail to be disappointed.  It’s just a really cool place. Alas, yesterday he was served with papers saying that his EX is requesting a review of their child support agreement so he has to come back here tomorrow to meet with his lawyer to find out what’s going on.  It sucks that she’s doing it this way instead of just talking to him about it but she’s not exactly Ms. Nice Girl. Lately she’s been giving him a really hard time.  Refusing to tell him when the kids have games on the weekends, saying he can see them and then changing plans at the last second, asking him to have the boys at totally random times, generally being mean and saying things like if he brings me around the k...

Miranda is a magazine junkie. I have to indulge my habit very carefully or I’d buy up every magazine at the stand. Marie Claire is one of my favorites.  This month there were two articles in particular that I think my doppelganger must have written. One was about how approximately 30% of women who get married admit that they had second thoughts as they were going down the aisle and that they only got married because it felt like it was time for them to settle down.  Ummm, yep. My situation totally up and down. The second article was about how more and more women are paying alimony – or rather manimony - which we all know Miranda is cursed with for another 23 months. Not that I’m counting or anything.  According to pop culture that makes me an Alpha Wife. An Alpha Wife wears the pants in the family because they make more money than their husbands. Whoever has the most money wears the pants. It’s true. It was certainly true in my relationship.  It might have lo...

Proudly stolen from The Pleasure Principle 1. Have you performed a  strip tease  for a lover? If you had music, what was the song?   No, I have never performed a strip tease. I work to get out of my clothes as quickly as possible, if I even have any on. - Jules   Yes, without music though. -Gwyn   Not really. I've done a lap dance for Coach and sure some clothes came off but it wasn't a strip tease per se. - Miranda 2. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”…What is it that you will show me? It depends on who you are! If you're a hot guy, I'll show you whatever. - Jules I don't play that game. Let me rephrase that, I haven't played that game since I was about 5 years old on the playground at daycare. But, when I was 5 we went for the whole enchilada. -Gwyn    HA! I used to play that gave via sexting with Flyboy.  Ahhhh smoking hot Flyboy of the giant penis.  I miss him. - Miranda 3. Have you ever let someone else bathe you although...

Why is it when I'm firm and set clear boundaries that end in "If you ever do X again, I will be finished with you forever...", it' s a turn on? Gavin came over tonight and got high while Chloe was still up. I ripped him a new asshole and told him that if he ever, ever, ever did that again I would never, ever, ever see him again. We've had this fight once before and apparently I was less clear. (Admittedly we have some weird rules with regards to this in our house, but they are our rules and they will be respected.) I threw him out of the house and he asked if he could come back after she was sleeping. I begrudgingly said "I guess"  and allowed him back in about an hour later when she was in bed. I was writing a paper and essentially ignored him while he watched porn. He left pretty quickly because I guess he was still feeling the vibe. I send very loud, silent messages. I thought we were done for the night (though knowing him, I should have known bette...

Gavin walked into my house a few hours ago. I was a little surprised to see him so soon. It usually takes a few days for him to process this shit based on history and I was really pissy with him yesterday. I never just totally quit talking (except when I'm high). He walked in and asked why I was home. I told him I had stuff to do today and that I was stressed and didn't want to go to practicum, so I didn't. He was all like "Great, let's fuck...I'm so happy you're home". I questioned if he meant it (the fucking part, I could tell he was happy) and he was all "Hell yes", so it was on. He brought over his A game, like some of the best yet with him. I heart make up sex. We hung out and had an afternoon beer and talked for a while about general stuff. As he was leaving he said he was happy we were back on a good note. I told him we should keep it that way and that he shouldn't try to complicate what is easy. He laughed and left. -Jules

Yes, I have them...I've decided it's a semi-annual event. Personally, I think everyone should do this for themselves, but today's ended up a little fucked up so I may have a re-do soon. On Jules Appreciation Day, it's strictly about what Jules' wants to do (and no, sadly everyday is NOT like this despite what you assume from reading about my life!). ;) The morning started off in a fantastic way. Owen and I were supposed to meet for lunch, but his side job got cancelled this morning and moved to the afternoon, which was fine by me! He came over bright and early and o-m-g. I swear that man gives me the most amazing orgasms of my life. I know ya'll like details, so here it is. He came in to me playing with one of my new toys. He took over and started ramming it into me in a way that I just can't quite do for myself. I was cumming within seconds of him being in my house. He was licking me some and it was great. I also had the pleasure of watching how hard he w...

So my mom has slowly but surely been preparing herself to date again.  For a while she’s been “not dating” this old family friend of ours – I’ll call him Uncle.  Uncle was a family friend of my parents since they were teenagers.  For some reason as a kid I always thought he had a crush on her but she always kind of looked at him as one of her kids. HA! So over the last several we’ve all noticed Uncle being around more and more.  They started by getting breakfast together on Sundays then they started doing dinner and eventually he’s had her riding double on his motorcycle several weekends.  Several times now she and I have had a discussion about how her behavior looks like she’s dating him and she’s admitted he’s asked more than once about how us kids feel about them dating.  She always says she laughs and says they are not dating. However, despite my advice and even hearing it from Gwyn too my mom really hasn’t changed her behavior towards Uncle.  I’...

In random Miranda musings, I stumbled upon one of my guilty pleasures on TLC this weekend - the show Strange Sex.  They talk about all sorts of strange sexual things like fetishes, deformities, practices, etc.  It's very entertaining.  I started watching it last fall one strange night when I was hanging out with FJB. Anyways, on Sunday night they were talking about a man named Jonah Falcon . Seems he is overly well endowed. 13.5 inches to be exact and 8 freaking inches in circumference.  Yeah.  Measure that bad boy out with your hands.  It's about the size of a freaking wine bottle Jules!  Oh and he is bisexual too.  I literally thought I was going to have a stroke thinking about the size of this guy and trying to do anything at all with it! Please note the size of his bulge! And to top it all off, he's extremely socially awkward and he hasn't been in a relationship with anyone in a long long time.  They showed him walking down the st...

This week's TMI questions are courtesy of the lovely Hedone at http://pleasure-principle-hedone.blogspot.com/.%20%20%20 1. What is your favorite part of sex? All of it!  It's too hard to narrow down to just one part though I love the moment right before you hit your orgasam when you're body is tingling all over. - Miranda   You guys are killing me with these 'favorite' questions. I enjoy the very beginning, before the actual sex starts, when you have that feeling like you just can't wait to get your hands on your partner - I guess you could call it the 'sexual tension' lol. -Gwyn Yes, I'm going with an all of it. I love the moment of penetration for the first time when he puts it in to the part where I'm cumming over and over to when he finally lets go. - Jules 2. Have you asked your significant other or spouse what their biggest sexual fantasy is? Did you like it or are you not interested? What is it? Coach has a fantasy that involves us get...

I'm loving this year so far! Yesterday I had to go to practicum, but I spent the morning sexting with Owen. Sadly around lunchtime, we figured out that our afternoon wasn't going as planned. He got called away from work to go about 30 minutes down the road to do a random drug test and then he had to take care of one of his kids while his wife took the other one to the Dr. We postponed for this morning. I took Chloe to the movies and out to dinner last night and while we were eating he starts texting me again and sending me pictures. I actually think I may have blushed at the table! Last night after we got home, Gavin came over. He took me into my room and started playing with me. Neither of us required foreplay. He put me onto my desk chair and fucked me from behind as I tried my hardest to cum quietly since Russell was home. I came several times and he finally came inside me. We went out into the living room and typed up some stuff for this thing he's working on to keep ...

I’m sure it’s no surprise that Coach and I are back together.  We’ve spent a ton of time talking and working through some issues.  I feel good about where things are and in large I feel like I’ve put the past behind us and I’m being much more open emotionally than I was before. I think we are both trying to treat each other with great care.  We spent some time together last weekend and I went to his birthday dinner with his family where I got to meet his kids.  That was a very odd feeling let me tell you what.  We took my kids to play mini-golf and then Coach surprised me by staying in town an extra day and coming to my softball game.  He’s coming home again this weekend so we shall see how things progress but I am feeling really happy right now with both of us.  And truthfully, being with him just feels right.  It’s where I want to be right now and where I’m choosing to be.  I know it’s hard to know the whole story because all you see here...

Lord, I'm about done with all the soul searching going on here...lol. It's forcing me to look at my own life and I'm happy and I'd be relatively guilt free if you guys would cut this out...kidding (mostly). I was having an interesting conversation today at work with Josie via text about passion and affairs. Interestingly enough, Adam posted something similar to this the other day. Gwyn, this is why I think men cheat. First of all, we are not monogamous beings. Religion and society have forced this very unnatural concept onto us and I think it's a bunch of crap. If you want to spend the rest of your life fucking the same person, rock on but for the love of all that is freaking holy don't judge me because the thought makes me want to vomit. I mean this in a generalist sense. I don't feel judged by any of you. Second, marriage is hard. It's hard to want to fuck the same person day in and day out when you have kids and bills and life with them. There wer...

About a month ago, I started playing kickball in a co-ed recreational league. My team consists of about half guys and half girls. They are all pretty close with each other so I’ve always been sort of the outsider, the new girl. After our first game, I can’t remember exactly how long after, one of the guys started chatting with me on FB (not private messaging, just the regular chat). From here on out, he shall be named "Left Field". It was totally innocent, just chatting about the game and if I was having fun. It happened a couple of times during that week and I just assumed he was a nice guy or that he was designated to reach out to me to make sure I felt included. It is important to note that this particular guy is very recently engaged to his girlfriend of three years (he is 25, she is 28) who happens to also play on the kickball team. By recently engaged I mean three weeks ago.  So, a couple of weekends ago I participated in a charity walk with some friends and who do I ...

I hit lots of them today. This is a very graphic post, so if you don't want to know...skip it. I had nasty, dirty sex with Owen today at lunch. Whoa Lord, I read a blog the other day that pointed out the number of nerve endings in the vulva vs. the penis...poor men. ;) I walked into Owen's lair (read - van) today and he said let me get this straight as he reiterated my entire fantasy of how today would go. He said "You want me to pull you down onto my lap, kiss you, flip you over, lick your pussy, and then go straight into your ass." Why yes, yes I would. He did just that  as he undressed me and then added in some extra kinky.   He licked me into an orgasmic state and then fingered me for a few more, where I actually squirted on his hand. Then he pulled out a toy I'd brought along and gave it to me to perform for him. He loves, loves, loves watching me play with myself. As I was playing, he lubed up his huge cock and went straight into my ass. It was a-m-a-z-i-n...

This week's questions were stolen from  http://blue-eyedvixen.com/ . She did a 21 questions series, but 21 is a lot, so we're doing the 1st 11.  1. What age to you think is a good age for someone to lose their virginity?  That is a totally subjective question. I was 13 and that was too young looking at it on this side now and with a daughter who will be that age in 5 years! I don't regret it though. I was always a very sexual child, so I suppose it the the right time for me. - Jules I don't know. I was 16 and I felt like the last virgin alive.  In retrospect, I would have liked to have waited longer.  We rush so much of growing up I don't see why we need to rush that. Sex just complicates life and relationships anyways.  I do love the idea of waiting till the night of your wedding though I think that's very unrealistic in real life. - Miranda In my opinion I think you should wait as long as you possibly can. I waited until I was in college and it was, ...