I Am Pam

It’s not great secret that Miranda likes to imagine scenes from her life in a movie. There’s been more than one dramatic speech (that’s flopped) or a well swept exit from a room (that no one noticed) or a scintillating sexual escapade (that I’m sure looks better in life than on film) that I’ve lived. However I never realized I’d psychoanalyze myself thanks to a classic 1980s movie.

Urban Cowboy is one of my all time favorite movies. The romanticism of down home cowboy Bud sweeping trailer trash Sissy off her feet. Their fiery love story. Fighting. Making Up. A wedding in a light blue tuxedo with a ruffled shirt. Cowboy hats and boots galore. Mechanical bull riding. If you haven’t seen this movie I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under but you must see it immediately. I insist. If you haven’t, so much of the humor in this post is going to be lost on you….

Anyways, the story is about this country redneck couple in Texas who meet, fall in love, get married, get jealous, break up, Bud hooks up with a rich cowgirl, Sissy hooks up with the ex-convict bouncer at their favorite club, no one’s happy, and eventually they hook back up and Bud reinstates Sissy’s license plate in the back window of his truck. Swoon! I’ve always loved this movie. I used to watch it with my sister when I was a kid and we still get together and watch it to this day. Damn John Travolta was fine back then!


Sissy


So as I’ve been “re-singalized” I’ve often thought of myself as Sissy just looking for her Bud, particularly as I’ve become more and more of a country music lover and wanna-be-cowgirl. I think many of the guys I’ve dated have been their own special versions of Bud in fact. But as I’ve been grounded, I’ve done a lot of thinking. And I’ve realized something, I’m not Sissy. I’ll never be happy with a hard working man who can’t hold a decent conversation. I’ll never be content living in a trailer eating tuna salad with onions made by my mother in law. And despite my many attempts (yes I’ve tried more than once in real life) I’ll never ride that mechanical bull quite like Sissy did.

Pam

However, I’ve come to realize … I am Pam. Pam is the rich cowgirl in the movie who meets Bud at a club and is charmed by his boorish manly ways. Pam is classy, fun, charming, well kept; she takes care of herself and enjoys a night out in the clubs. When Pam brings Bud into her world he’s a lost soul. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can’t hold conversations with her friends/family, he doesn’t have the same level of manners as her, and ultimately he’s just gimping along trying to forget about his Sissy. After a short, tumultuous relationship in the movie, Pam sets Bud free and tells him to go back to Sissy because they are made for each other.

So yes, I am Pam (or at least I’m a lot closer to Pam than I am to Sissy). And instead of Bud, I need to be looking for JR, as in JR Ewing. My boss and I were talking about this very realization this weekend (she’s even more Pam than me) and it hit home in a whole new way. We went to dinner Saturday night at this very upscale place in town that we had a gift certificate to. We walked in the door and bam, there was this guy who’s affiliated with our work and he’s one of the richest guys in town. Literally. We’ve both talked to him at several work related events and he came right over to talk to us.

We exchanged a few pleasantries and then headed to our table. A short while later he tracked us down and joined us for a few moments as we waited on our food. As he talked about his travels (he’s been everywhere – the man owns his own 8 seater plane), and he was charming us with tales of business and social life around town. We bonded over the fact that we both pay alimony (him to the tune of $37,000 a month – yes you read that right – he didn’t say how much but I know from gossip around town) and then he told the waiter that whatever we wanted was one him. We demurred but he insisted and he also insisted on ordering us a bottle of the best cabernet I’ve ever had in my life. After he left our table to rejoin his party I stealthy googled it and it is a bottle of wine that sells for almost $200! Our total bill came up close to $400 I’m sure.

After she and I shook the stars from our eyes we looked at each other and said simultaneously – We are Pam. This is the environment I want to be in. This is the type of man I want (ok he doesn’t have to be super rich but I’d like him to be cultured and someone who provides well for himself). This is the lifestyle I want. Its fun to “slum” in the clubs but it’s really just a way to kill time. It’s time for a whole new ballgame people!

Pam (aka Miranda)