Sunday, October 14, 2012

Crash and Burn

Well the whole meet the parents thing did not go well. Not on my behalf by any means but by theirs.  Peabody has a ….. complex relationship with his parents. He’s an only child with very little external family.  I’ve gotten the distinct impression that there was a fair amount of hero worship for his father growing up though his parents have a fairly dysfunctional relationship with each other.  He says his mom has always been degrading to his father (which explains why Peabody ended up marrying an uber-controlling bitch but that’s a story for another time). And I think their relationship is still very much that way.

As Peabody’s marriage fell apart and he strayed, he was eaten up with so much guilt that he confessed to his ex-wife, his parents, and what little family he has.  Everyone jumped his shit hard core and pretty much turned against him.  His parents have routinely belittled him, gotten between him and his ex-wife, and pretty much treated him like crap since then.  As an only child, he still really wants their love and approval and it tears him up that they think so little of him.  Add on top of that that they always seem to side with his ex-wife and you can imagine that their relationship is of a love-hate nature.

During the last couple months we’ve been dating we’ve talked at some length about his struggles with them and his ex.  It’s a pretty shitty situation all in all.  Last weekend the ex-wife was having a birthday party for his son and there was all this drama and stuff about Peabody coming and it resulted in him making the wise decision to just have a party on his own for his son, which is what Friday night was.

A couple days before the party Peabody found out after the ex-wife’s party she took the kids to see his parents. Instead of waiting till Peabody’s party (which was on his son’s actual birthday) they went ahead and gave his son his birthday presents.  Peabody was understandably irritated by this and it sparked yet another discussion/argument between them.  When I got there Friday night he said he wasn’t sure if his parents were actually going to show because they hadn’t answered his calls or returned his messages since earlier in the week.

There were several of us there who all have kids and the kids were having a blast and everything was going good. The party started at 6:30 and about an hour into it, Peabody called his parents. His dad said he wasn’t coming and it was up to his mom if she came or not.  About 8 she called and said she couldn’t find his house in the dark.  He gave her directions and she showed up about 15 minutes later. She came in, spoke to the people she knew and hugged the kids.  Peabody greeted her and offered her some wine. I grabbed it to pour and introduced myself to her as one of his friends.  I don’t know how much he’s told them about us and I wasn’t about to make any assumptions that she knows anything more than the fact that I exist in some form or fashion.

She thanked me for the wine and then turned around and talked to a friend of his who was recently separated.  As they talked, I could see her judging him for splitting up with his wife and she said some less than supportive things to him.  I stood awkwardly by and tried to insert myself in the conversation when I was hit with a realization – I don’t give a shit about this woman or what she thinks about me. I mean she’s his mom and I want them to repair their relationship but honestly all the crap his parents have pulled on him over the last four years is insane.

I walked over and talked to some other people and after about 10 minutes she asked which kids were mine and I pointed them out.  She said how cute Ladybug was and then told Peabody she had to leave. He looked poleaxed and said ok.  She hugged his kids goodbye and went out the door. Total time she was there had to be less than 20 minutes. It was super weird and awkward and you could see how disappointed Peabody was.

His friends and I rallied around him and tried to gloss over everything.  After everyone left but me, we talked for a few minutes about it and he said he wished she hadn’t even bothered coming.  I didn’t really know what to say so I just hugged him hard before I left with the kids.

I’ve met his dad about a month ago and spent about 30 minutes chatting with him and watching football so I feel like I scored there.  But I definitely feel like I struck out with his mom.  Correction – I feel like I never even got to step up to the plate with her.  But hey, it’s her loss not mine. 


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