I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record but really things with Peabody continue to be just freaking great. It’s no drama, no pressure, no craziness. Just peaceful and fun and incredibly easy.
It’s funny, I’ve been used to guys who tend to jump right in to their emotions – re both Coach and The Christian told me they loved me early on, like within just a couple weeks. Peabody is different. He readily admits he has a guard up but he’s been letting it down slowly and surely. Which makes me relax and feel like I can let my guard down and just be me and not go into my crazy Miranda-ness where I try to be the perfect person for the other person.
Other than compliments and saying how much I impress him all the time or that he likes being with me we haven’t even toed a “feelings” discussion yet. And I’m frankly ok with that. I feel like I’m actually having the chance to really get to know him without worrying about attaching a name to my emotions And despite a few moments of insecurity because things weren’t named emotion wise, everything he does shows me how much he likes me which is so incredibly reassuring.
Side note because it fits and because country music drives Jules crazy – there’s a song on the radio that has summed up my shift in emotions very well. It’s Lovin’ You Is Fun by Easton Corbin. It’s become my moments of insecurity song haha.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how in large part the last few years have felt like my life was on pause. And sometimes like I was even living someone else’s life with all the going out and partying and shenanigans. It’s not to say that I haven’t had a blast, because well hell it’s been like reverting back to my 20s and living the life like I imagined I would have. Rather it’s like I’ve been waiting for the next part of my life to start. And every time I’m with Peabody, whether we’re out to dinner with friends or up in the mountains or at a concert or just sitting on the couch watching a movie – I can’t help but feel like this is what my life is supposed to be like. This is what I’ve been trying to find. This is the place where I fit in best. This lifestyle is what I’ve been wanting and what I’m ready for.