Monday, September 3, 2012

50 Shades of Bored

So today I’m busting ass on the elliptical when I see this “new” daytime show. New to me because dammit I’m a working woman and not a lovely stay at home bon-bon eating mom (kidding ladies! Put away the pitch forks and torches – I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat if I had the chance).  So on the Good Afternoon show (apparently an addendum to Good Morning America) they cited a very unscientific British study saying that sales of lingerie are up by some fantastical amount.  They credit this to the publishing and rabid reading of none other than 50 Shade of Grey.

Now I’ve read these books and though they were decent. Sure the writing was a bit juvenile and the whole “inner goddess” “inner conscious” thing got old and overplayed but the sex scenes were enjoyable hot. Now mind you I was dating The Christian and having fantastic sex at the time so while the scenes were hot, they weren’t this explosively hot thing everyone billed them to be.

My own mother said she got turned on (ewwwwwwww) at the book!  Every female I knew said they liked it.  When Jules told me she was going to read them, I had to level with her and say that there wasn’t much if anything in that book she hadn’t already tried. I imagine if you had a pretty vanilla sex life it was more amped up and hotter than it was for me since I’ve walked on the wild side a bit. 

I digress, so after seeing that “news” story today I was a bit miffed.  The whole link behind the kinky sex in 50 Shades is that the guy – Christian – was severely as a child and that led him down this path to sadistic sex to fulfill some need he has in his life.  Don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler people, you’ve still got lots of goodies to uncover if 50 Shades is high on you to do list. 

But after I saw that story this morning it irked me a bit.  I feel like all these white-bread vanilla sexed folks are going to link being kinky to having some psychological issue.  Now granted for many people engaged in freaky deaky sex there is an underlying issue for there are plenty of regular old people like me who just enjoy the off the cuff wild night of sex.  I can assure you with complete truth that I was neither neglected or abused as a child and my enjoyment of some rough play and bondage has nothing to do with a deep seeded physiological issue in my psyche.

I just don’t think its fair the general public “discovering” kinky fuckery at the hands of 50 Shades is going to have that link to it. I wish the author had just made it something he enjoyed rather than a response to his childhood neglect.

A funny side note – this morning I was perusing a couple sex toy websites and funnily enough they were all selling the 50 Shades of Grey books.  Gave me a good morning chuckle.


PS – Yep I was a little drunk when I wrote this.  Hoorah for drunk blogging!


  1. I hated that damn book.

  2. I haven't read it and I already don't like it. LOL