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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Putting a Nail in That Coffin


Well after complaining our blog was boring things sure took off lol. Jules is contemplating being a one woman man, Gwyn has had some crazy stuff happening that I’m sure she will share eventually (don’t want to bust her scoop!), and I finally found my “balls” and broke it off with The Christian – kinky hot sex be damned!

After an awkward Friday night date to see the new Batman movie (AWESOME BTW) with The Christian and an even more awkward Saturday afternoon at the park, we talked for a long time Saturday night and I told him I just didn’t know that I could get over all the junk we’ve dealt with in the last month.  He begged me to reconsider and told me to think it over. I agreed to sleep on it mostly because we have insane sexual chemistry and I would hate to let that go if I thought we could work through our issues.

Sunday morning I got up and I knew it was time.  We were supposed to get together that afternoon but I wanted it over and done with so I went the less PC route and called him up to break up with him via phone.  After much arguing on his behalf including telling me I’d never find another man who would love me like he did (I sure hope not LOL) and that I’d regret this decision maybe not now but one day in the future, the deed was done. 

Monday we met after work to exchange belongings we’d left at each other’s house along with keys.  Again he wanted to talk me out of it but I cut him off quickly.  After it was done on Sunday and even more so after Monday I felt an enormous sense of relief.  No matter how hard we tried, it was never going to work. We were just too different and I don’t know that I’d ever be completely comfortable just being myself around him.  I didn’t go into a lot of details about our relationship on here but let’s just say he lived up to the name The Christian and we had some major value clashes. Plus he was a bit of a control freak and this girl is just way too independent to tolerate that for very long.

I will actually give Gwyn and Jules major props for opening up my eyes when I was there in Hawaii. We were sitting on the beach one day and they both yelled at me that I was not happy and not acting like myself.  My boss agreed that I had been acting more subdued and that she didn’t like it.  She was never actually a big fan of The Christian in the first place.  Between the three of them holding up that mirror to my face I started to realize how much I was holding back of myself and how much dating him and his every changing moods and control issues were stressing me out.  So thanks girls!

I will say I learned a couple good things from this relationship.  1 - We had some in depth talks about Christianity and a lot of my misgivings or worries about not being a "perfect" Christian have been laid to rest.  Some of the faith I had found before my dad passed away that's been missing feels restored on some level which is good.  2 - I was reminded how easy it is to lose yourself in an intense relationship and how important it is to find that balance between being your single self and your coupled self.  3 - And perhaps most important, I was smacked hard in the face with the fact that no matter how I lamented that Coach was the best lover, there are in fact guys like The Christian who will rock my world much harder than Coach ever could have.

In other major news, I found out Monday that Coach has left town! He got a job in Florida and moved him and his gallons of issues there.  It’s an unbelievable relief to not be constantly on the “look out” for him in town.  Between months and months of that combined with the last two months of dating a control freak I’ve been a little subconsciously stressed out lol.  For the first time in I don’t know how long I feel utterly relaxed. It’s pretty freaking amazing.

After the months of grounding and then dating The Christian it will be very interesting to see how single Miranda acts in the coming months ahead.  I’m not in any big rush to date at the moment but we all know Miranda can only sit at home so long!

Miranda

PS - Already the crazy boy stuff has begun.  Within hours of making myself "single" again on Facebook blasts from the past Grandpa Twin and Motorcycle Man contacted me. Not that either has a shot in hell but it's still funny. Oh and the 27 year old baby boy in my office has decided to flirt quite heavily with me.  Very ironic indeed. 

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