Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

So I had a wee bit of crazy sneak in this weekend.  Friday night I went to bed and everything felt fine with Peabody.  Saturday morning I woke up paralyzed with the idea that he didn’t like me as much as I like him. Where did this devilish little thought come from?  I have no freaking clue. It certainly wasn’t because of anything he did or didn’t do. That day I had to work a large part of it so I didn’t see him until the night.  That period of absence seemed to make my crazy grow exponentially. It resulted in me being stilted and awkward that whole night and a good portion of Sunday.  Peabody asked me several times if I was having fun(we were at a concert) and if everything was ok and I valiantly tried to paint a “I’m not freaking out” smile on my face and act normal but judging from the number of times he asked I’m pretty sure I failed. Sunday evening I was at home and got determined to squash this weird insecurity I was feeling by just addressing it ...

Things have been an amazing whirlwind with The Fisherman that I don't even know where to start since I've been without my computer and the ability to blog regularly. First of all, let's start with Owen. I saw him last week and felt so incredibly guilty that I just knew I couldn't do it again. He texted me about meeting up last Friday and I told him I could not and that I'd met someone who was rocking my world and I needed time to explore that. He was sweet about it and told me I totally deserve someone awesome in my life. Oddly his reaction made it harder, but I did it. I freaked out a little and cried afterwards, but I felt like it was totally the right decision. He texted me again last night and I stood firm telling him I seriously need some time. He said he's willing to give me that and if I want to ever see him, he will be waiting. I don't do goodbyes, ever. I suck at that so I've just put him on hold but have been very open about my feeling for The ...

I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record but really things with Peabody continue to be just freaking great.  It’s no drama, no pressure, no craziness.  Just peaceful and fun and incredibly easy.  It’s funny, I’ve been used to guys who tend to jump right in to their emotions – re both Coach and The Christian told me they loved me early on, like within just a couple weeks.  Peabody is different.  He readily admits he has a guard up but he’s been letting it down slowly and surely.  Which makes me relax and feel like I can let my guard down and just be me and not go into my crazy Miranda-ness where I try to be the perfect person for the other person. Other than compliments and saying how much I impress him all the time or that he likes being with me we haven’t even toed a “feelings” discussion yet.  And I’m frankly ok with that. I feel like I’m actually having the chance to really get to know him without worrying about attaching a n...

Things are amazing with the Fisherman and yes, I'm going to use all the fishing titles I can think of. He is so good to me and I’ve loved spending time with him this week. He came over Tuesday night and bought me my favorite wine, flowers, and a super sweet card. It was a little sappy for Jules, but I have to admit I kind of liked it. We hung out and talked and then had amazing sex. He had to leave for work at 4:30am, so I let him stay and we woke up and had more amazing sex before he left. He lets me do whatever I want to with his cock, so this is working out nicely.    I think we both have a case of puppy love and it’s definitely the kind of a puppy in heat. He came back over last night and we laid in my bed watching a TV show we both like. He did something last night that I’ve never seen in all my years of sex.    He went down on me and fingered my kitty and my ass for a while until I had quite a few super intense orgasms. Then we had sex and he wanted anal se...

Aside from my crazy insecurity a week ago things have continued to be awesome with Peabody.  We spent almost all of the weekend together and I continue to be so pleased at how easy and peaceful everything is with him. At different points last week he very briefly met my mom and I met his dad one night at his house.  We spent a couple nights during the week together and a couple apart which gave me the perfect amount of alone time though quite honestly I don’t feel an overwhelming need for “alone” time since he’s not ass-crazy like The Christian was.  Friday we went to a film festival and out to a late dinner.  He stayed at my house for the first time all night and we woke up and lay in bed for a couple hours talking and snuggling and having fantastic morning sex.  Saturday day we went to a friend of his’s store that was having a three year celebration (it’s a beer place and I drank watermelon beer – yep as strange as it sounds) and then cooked dinner w...

Last night was date 3 with The Fisherman and it was great. By "date", I mean he came over for wine on the porch after Chloe was asleep. We sat out there for a while drinking and talking and then we moved inside where he ravished me with kisses and I lead him into my bedroom. I actually have a love-hate relationship with new, first time sex. If it's a one night stand, I don't care. If it's someone I think I might like, it's nerve wrecking because if the sex sucks, I'm out. I'm not out with The Fisherman. It was great sex. He's not hung like Owen, of course most men aren't, but he's average size and he pleasured me like crazy. We had sex for a while and then he finally came (love these men in their 40s with amazing stamina!) and we went to sleep around 2:30am. I woke up about 5:45am to him watching me sleep. Since he fishes, he's usually up and out the door around 4am so I don't think he slept much. I spoke and kissed him and he sta...

I had the pleasure of dropping Chloe off at school this morning and then coming home to Owen! He came over for some super hot sex before work this morning. Sex in the morning has never been my favorite, mostly b/c I'm not a morning person but if I started my day like this every day I think that would change! I had told him today was Owen Appreciation Day. I have 2 Jules Appreciation Days a year, one in the spring and 1 in the fall. Honestly, any sex day with him is also a Jules Appreciation Day. He had texted me yesterday about seeing me today and had asked if he could just come in today and have his way with me. Why yes, yes you can...anytime. I LOVE when he just takes control of me, but he usually does things he knows I like. He did things I loved today, but they weren't part of his "normal". I bought a hot new toy from Eden Fantasys that I'll tell you about soon. It's glass and huge, like a scepter. I showed him yesterday during sexting and he was intri...

I  recently posted about The Fisherman and came under fire from an anonymous reader, who decided to fire  back regarding my height preferences with comments about my age. Whatever. I'm old and hot and I can get guys that are young enough to be my son and old enough to be my dad. When that stops, I'll worry. Until then, I do NOT have age issues. I have LOVED my 30s. My mom says it keeps getting better, but I think that may be a lie she tells herself. We'll see.   Anyway, The Fisherman is clearly smitten and I've weighed it all out. His only con on the pro-con list that I am currently aware of is his height. Seriously, that's all (as of now). He's super cute, oh so sweet, a great cook, has an ocean front condo 5 minutes from my house which he said he would like to buy so clearly he has money (as in tried to make an offer on but she didn't want to sell), no ex wife, no kids...I'm going to try again. I'm going to try to work through my shallowness and se...

I’ve been struck with weird and random feelings of insecurity.  They snuck up on me Monday evening and I’ve been battling those assholes every since.  Monday night Peabody and I were laying on the couch watching TV and out of nowhere the evil thoughts pounced.  I have no idea why but I lay there riddled with anxiety for the rest of the night and hell if it didn’t even let me sleep peacefully.  Let me be clear in saying that NOTHING Peabody has done provoked this.  He’s been freaking great.  Calls, texts, invites me to do stuff all the time, obviously wants to spend time with me, obviously very attracted to me, gives me compliments all the time, etc.  Really there’s been not one single thing that’s made me question him or how he feels about me.  And while we do spend a lot of our free time together, we are both very good about taking time for ourselves and we're not rushing anything (a'la The Christian). I guess maybe it’s just that I lik...

So today I’m busting ass on the elliptical when I see this “new” daytime show. New to me because dammit I’m a working woman and not a lovely stay at home bon-bon eating mom (kidding ladies! Put away the pitch forks and torches – I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat if I had the chance).   So on the Good Afternoon show (apparently an addendum to Good Morning America) they cited a very unscientific British study saying that sales of lingerie are up by some fantastical amount.   They credit this to the publishing and rabid reading of none other than 50 Shade of Grey. Now I’ve read these books and though they were decent. Sure the writing was a bit juvenile and the whole “inner goddess” “inner conscious” thing got old and overplayed but the sex scenes were enjoyable hot. Now mind you I was dating The Christian and having fantastic sex at the time so while the scenes were hot, they weren’t this explosively hot thing everyone billed them to be. My own mother said she...

Last night I went out with the fisherman. He's cute, but he's about an inch taller than I am. I just can't do it. I've tried to not be shallow, but I like tall men. I just do. If you're short, I'm sorry but it doesn't make me into you regardless of how cute, hot, funny, etc you may be. He is super sweet, funny, a great cook, and adorable. If he were about 6" taller, hell even 4-5", I'd be all over it. His place is oceanfront right near me. He has a boat that he could and has offered to take me out on. He seems to have money and his roommate has commissary access. There are so many good traits, but sadly I cannot get past the height. While I was with him, The Chilean texted me to ask if my phone was working. He said he's been calling. Funny, other people have been calling me and getting through. He asked what I was doing and I lied a little. I just said I was having dinner with a friend. He invited me to come hang out at this local bar and...