The Rockstar

So after the failure of the relationship with JJ, I got back on the dating apps.  It was the early days of Covid so life was weird and there wasn’t much to do.  In an odd sort of way those early days when the world was literally shut down may have finally been what taught Miranda to be still and be able to just be home. 

After a few weeks I started working the dating apps in ernest and was not seeing much out there besides guys who wanted Covid pen pals.  I kept running into guys who were recently separated (like a doctor who works for the same company I work for – awkward), I talked to a veterinarian for a while who didn’t have a cellphone – that’s right he gave me his email address and landline lol, and then I finally expanded my parameters to people up to about 50 or so miles away from where I live.  Still hitting nothing exciting I opted to upgrade my Bumble membership to see people who had already liked me and lightening hit.

Enter the Rockstar…

The Rockstar was this 50 year old, salt and pepper, tall legit rockstar – he played guitar in a death metal band for about 20 years – right death metal hahaha.  He was a health care educator by day and could hold a conversation like no one I’ve ever run into in real life.  From the moment we started talking it just flowed and the attraction was palpable.  We talked and texted for a couple weeks before we took the Covid leap and decided to meet in real life.  Now this was still during the time that most of the world was shut down so we planned for him to come to my house and we could hang out on my porch and I’d cook dinner. 

I have never been so nervous for a date than in those first few minutes before he showed up.  And damn if he wasn’t everything he promised in person!  We had an awesome, awesome, awesome first date and quickly – even by Miranda standards – fell into a relationship. 

Before I could blink I was spending my kid free weeks at the Rockstars house and he was back and forth to mine.  He immediately changed his kid schedule to match mine so we would have even more time together and we would literally spend hours listening to music and talking about everything under the sun.  I got so quickly swept away that I was sweeping red flags under the rug left and right. It was like being a 16 year old in the throes of first love again - except the guy I was dating had erectile dysfunction.  Yeah that was a new one for Miranda...

But the ED didn't hold the Rockstar back too much, with the right drugs he obviously could handle it but he also had a massive control fetish in the bedroom which was HOT.  And he was seriously spectacular with his hands and mouth.  Despite the ED, there was nothing lacking in the bedroom.

As time went on, it was harder for me not to notice the red flags and to keep making excuses for him.  He had a “crazy” ex, we had to do everything on his schedule because he had diabetes, he started talking about me moving in with him and moving my kids to his town, we had a couple minor arguments that were handled fine then we had a big one at the beach and I saw so many shades of Peabody’s style of arguing that I took a major step back from the relationship after that trip.

After that trip, I had major PTSD feelings from the end of my relationship with Peabody.  We made it a couple more weeks and then the Rockstar went off talking about my brother in law, who is extremely conservative politically and he was an anti-covid person, and railed for 30 minutes about him and how he never wanted to hang out with him again.  I finally stopped the conversation and said I had to go and just hung up.  I mean I did think my brother in law was a total douchebag how he handled the whole covid situation but he’s my family, he’s more of a brother to me than my own blood brother.  The level the Rockstar went off was totally undignified and unjustified. 

We had a few awkward conversations and things were very strained.  I finally told him how off base I thought his comments were and he did NOT like my candor.  He was supposed to come to my house that weekend so we could talk in person and I knew it wasn’t going to end well.  He eventually showed up and gave me the “we moved too fast and now I need to back off and we can still hang out/have sex but I want to be open to dating others” line. I said how weird that was since he was telling me he loved me and wanted us to live together, etc. and he acted like I was crazy imagining all that.  We ended the relationship though he did ask if he could spend the night hahahaha. I told him to hit the road. 

A couple weeks later he got back with his ex-wife who lived three miles down the road from me lol.  It lasted about three days in which time he told her I was stalking him, promoting her crazy self to call me and tell me to back off.  Ironically she and I know a bunch of the same people and they all told her she was being crazy and weirdly as Miranda’s life goes we are pseudo-friends now. 

At least that’s what she thinks, I like to keep the crazies on my side as much as I can lol.