Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Oh yeah, I am actively remembering right now why I do not engage in relationships. The Chilean is making me fucking crazy. It's as much me as it is him b/c I get insecure in the beginning, but I'm feeling kind of insane right now. I'm out of my element and I dislike it. It started with his no sex challenge. Friday morning he left and things were fine. Saturday he texts me to hang out and I told him I was busy all day at a wedding, which I had previously mentioned. We text later that night and he asks me to come over. I said I thought it was too late, I was sleeping with Chloe, and I'd see him the next night if he wanted. Then he starts talking about how he wants more of the sex like we had Thursday night. I'm like "Dude, you are the one that instituted the no sex thing like yesterday...so which is it?". I finally just quit chatting and went to sleep. Sunday, he FB messages me and asks what I'm doing. I'm told him my plans for the day and he say...

The Comfort and  Thrill  of Sex 1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)? a. I love it. b. I enjoy it. c. I’m ok with it. d. I don’t really enjoy it. e. I don’t enjoy it at all. f. I have never given anal sex. g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start. C - I've done it with toys a few times. I like it well enough, but honestly I'm much rather be on the receiving end of that game. Otherwise, it feels slightly gay. - Jules C - Ditto to what Jules said. - Miranda Um what? I choose option 'H' - I have never and will never give anal sex nor will I ever stay with someone who wants me to do so. EXIT ONLY!!!! And unless I'm mistaken straight men should not enjoy things going in to their anus!!!! -Gwyn 2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)? a. I love it. b. I enjoy it. c. I’m ok with it. d. I don’t enjoy it at all. e. I have never received ana...

After dropping my Mom off at the airport, Chloe and Russell had a daddy-daughter night at his summer man cave because he knew I had plans to see The Chilean. People, you could not ask for a better ex husband than this guy. I mean, damn. The Chilean had jujitsu practice, so he didn't get finished until late. This is going to work out very well because he trains like 3 or 4 nights a week and isn't finished until late...which is when I'm available. Anyway, he came over last night after that and we sat on the porch drinking margaritas and I'd made him some food. We're talking and he's telling me his life story (again...seems I was too drunk to remember the 1st time). He told me that he got married when he was 21 and it was basically a shotgun wedding, although he felt it was the right thing to do. They stayed married 12 years and then after the divorce, he moved here. In the middle of this conversation, he keeps telling me how beautiful I am and such and then he...

Well after complaining our blog was boring things sure took off lol. Jules is contemplating being a one woman man, Gwyn has had some crazy stuff happening that I’m sure she will share eventually (don’t want to bust her scoop!), and I finally found my “balls” and broke it off with The Christian – kinky hot sex be damned! After an awkward Friday night date to see the new Batman movie (AWESOME BTW) with The Christian and an even more awkward Saturday afternoon at the park, we talked for a long time Saturday night and I told him I just didn’t know that I could get over all the junk we’ve dealt with in the last month.  He begged me to reconsider and told me to think it over. I agreed to sleep on it mostly because we have insane sexual chemistry and I would hate to let that go if I thought we could work through our issues. Sunday morning I got up and I knew it was time.  We were supposed to get together that afternoon but I wanted it over and done with so I went the less P...

Here’s a hilarious tale for you all. I don’t know why I decided to tell my mother about The Chilean, but last night we were sitting on the porch and I just kind of spilled it that I was seeing this guy again and that I kind of really like him. Russell was out there and there was a ton of wine flowing and The Chilean was texting me asking me to come over. I had told him earlier in the night that I would when she went to bed.  Anyway, this texting and such goes on for hours and finally around midnight Russell brings out the weed and starts smoking. I do not know why in life he thought this was ok to do with my mom, but he did! LOL! Well, my mom has only ever shot gunned pot once (or so she says) and she liked it, but it’s not something she does…ever. She totally shot gunned with Russell and was feeling pretty high.  I have a no technology policy when I drink and/or smoke, but since I was already texting with him she decided she wanted to see him. I pulled up his FB pa...

The Chilean is back! I dated him some in 2010, just a few months after I told Russell that I wanted a divorce and a few months after I’d met Gavin. At the time, I was a mess. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, or you actually know me, you may remember those were pretty dark months. It was not a good time in my life and I’m really glad I’m past it. On a semi related note, Russell and I are like back to being bffs. He moved home earlier than planned b/c he missed me…lol. We’ve been hanging out and doing stuff when the kid isn’t around and it’s just so damn nice to be back in that place.   Ok, back to The Chilean. I quit seeing him then b/c he wanted me to be his gf and I was NOT in a place to be anyone’s gf.    He told me he loved me and I just wasn’t ready for that at all. I was foolishly smitten with Gavin (thankfully he was the rebound guy) and his attention freaked me out.    I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone just adore me the way he did. It...

Our blog sucks lately. We apologize.  We talked about that very fact on the beach two weeks ago. I’ll try to do better and update more again. After our time apart, The Christian and I got together on Saturday and talked. I told him I needed space.  I needed my “me” time. I couldn’t be everything to him and I didn’t want to be. I already tried that with Duckie.  We went through a laundry list of issues and we both walked away from the conversation feeling pretty good all in all. Then we went to dinner and got a wild hair to go to a sex shop where we bought an array of toys and put them to good use that night.  We easily had the roughest sex I’ve ever experienced and I loved every freaking minute of it.  After so many years of wanting rougher sex it’s nice to have someone who likes it as much as me.  I remember a couple times I asked Coach to pull my hair hard or put his hands on my throat and it freaked him out haha!  The whole afternoon/evening w...

A lot has happened and I’ve been a very bad blogger. The girls and I actually had a discussion on the beach last week about the blog and how to keep it going because we all feel like we’ve gotten a little boring. Last week with the girls in Hawaii was awesome as usual. I never get enough of them or Hawaii.  This was my first trip taking my kids and my mom and all in all it was really great. The kids absolutely loved it there and my mom did too (until the end of the week when she went temporarily insane but that’s a whole nother can of worms).  It was very cool to get to show the kids “my Hawaii” and take them to do things like turtle stalk, snorkeling, and exploring all the island has to offer. I think they would both love to live there. Now if I could only convince Duckie lol. Aside from that I’ve had some big issues come up with The Christian.  He’s got some severe insecurities he needs to deal with. Insecurities that make him try to be controlling which I buck ...