Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Gavin came home yesterday and said that he's moving literally like 4 houses up for the rest of the month to a place that will give him a bigger room and more of his own space for free through November. After that, he may move back in if the landlord won't renew the lease with him. I agreed this was a splendid idea and went with him to check it out. If you have ever been in a college apt, you know the kind of place I walked into. It was literally covered in beer bottles and dirty dishes and honestly I couldn't walk past the front door. I politely excused myself to go back home and he spent a few hours up there cleaning up. Once he gets the dump truck in, I think it will be a nice place. I also think this is a great idea all the way around...still super close for easy access, but not under foot all the time. After showering, he went into the kitchen to start making dinner for us and started talking about how long we've been "together". It was a strange conversa...

Gavin spent a good portion of the afternoon on my shit list. We're cool now, but I almost threw him out. He called me at work today to give me his afternoon agenda and then he called again when I was on the way home from work talking about partying tonight, so the point is I knew he was alone. Imagine my surprise as I'm pulling down my fucking road and I see the gf on my porch. I called him and spit the words "Tell me she is NOT at my fucking house..." (obviously I knew the answer) and he replied that she had stopped by to pick up his truck since hers broke down. I said "Get her the fuck out NOW" and promptly hung up on him. I don't hang up on people because I think it's very poor manners, rude, and childish but holy hell I was pissed. He called me back not 2 minutes later and I let it go to VM. He called right back and I accidentally answered it so I went ahead and let him talk. He apologized profusely, said he was just lending her his truck to go p...

So last night on my way home from work SoCo texted me and invited me over so he could fix the mirror on my car and look at my new tattoo – I got my dad’s initials tattooed on me. I was definitely up for a little fun so I told him I had to go home and do some stuff and I’d be over later. About 8 pm I hadn’t headed his way yet and he must have been impatient because he texted me again asking when I was coming. I told him I’d be on my way shortly I just had to stop to get some gas. When I went in to pay for my gas, I felt incredibly classy. I bought gas, two big beers, and a pack of Marlboro Reds for SoCo all while flashing my new tattoo. If I’d just thrown in a box of condoms, it’d have been the trifecta of sophistication. I got over to his place and we just hung out and chilled for a while. We both have very diverse musical tastes so we tend to play battle of the IPods and see who can find the most random or old school music to impress the other one. Thank heavens for my capacity to...

Last night Gavin came home about 12am and he was ready to go. You guys know I love it when a man comes in ready to take me. He walked into my bedroom as I was getting ready for bed. As I'm sure you can imagine, I sleep naked...so I was naked. He started pinching my nipples and really it was on from that point. I had my glasses on and he asked if he could finally have his librarian fantasy that includes cumming on my glasses. He asked me if I would blow him and I got on my knees. At some point, he said it was his turn to get on his knees and he got behind me and started licking my ass again. I swear to god that is an amazing feeling. During this, we decided to break the no sex in the house when Russell is home rule and he started pounding me. I do NOT cum quietly, but I'm learning and I did a mighty fine job of stifling multiple orgasms. When I'd cum to what he deemed a sufficient level, he came back around and I blew him until he exploded cum and yes, he got to fulfill his ...

So despite the gloomy weather today, the Miranda gloom has lifted. Thanks for bearing with maudlin Miranda this last week or so. I’m very pleased to report that the actual day of November 2 wasn’t really too bad. There were some sad moments but the week leading up to it was far worse. That night, the family came together for a fun dinner at my dad’s favorite restaurant and we laughed a ton and really celebrated his life. It was a good closing to the end of the first year without him. In boy news, I’ve been on my self-imposed sabbatical for two weeks now and it’s provided some much-needed respite for self-reflection and mind clearing. Other than my FWB relationship with SoCo , which is on dangerously thin ice, and a few deviations on bad behavior Halloween night, I’ve been really boy free. Sure, there’s been some texting but not any that I’ve initiated, other than that Halloween night picture. Twin has been trying to engage me in texting and I do answer some of his but he knows he...

...I have a boyfriend. In fact, let me share the exact quote from Miranda informing me that I am now attached: "Ummm yes ma'am. He picks you up from dwtn drunk, meets you out at the club, poses for pics with you, takes you home when you're an angry drunk, cooks for you, brings you soda...." The man in question is Romeo and yes he has done all of the above. Although reading that quote makes me seem like quite the drunk doesn't it? Well blog readers on my 30th birthday I made a drunken pact (wow maybe I am a drunk lol) to go out every Saturday night until 2011 - Miranda had her hand in the pile too - so there's been a lot more clubbing going on in my life than usual. It's true, we have spent every weekend together for at least the past month. And I can tell his feelings for me are getting a little stronger. He calls me every day...makes an efffort to see me....agreed to be my date to a friend's wedding this weekend...etc. But in normal Gwyn fashion...

I spent all day texting with Clark again today and in the end I realized several things. First of all, I have feelings for him, but I don't like him as a person. He lacks character. Second, he's an asshole. Third, he's a manipulator and a control freak. He's only into me when I'm telling him I don't want to see him because I believe he can't imagine me actually being the one to end things. (He may truly think he has feelings for me as well, but I suspect his interest is far more about control than caring about me.) Fourth, I would die if Chloe brought home someone like him. That was what did it for me. He spent another day telling me how much he wants me and cares about me, but telling me that this woman is coming in 2 weeks...wtf? I like woke up from the Clark spell today and realized that I'm Chloe's role model. Do I really want to set this kind of example in life for her? What would I do if I knew she was dating some guy that wanted to "own...