Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

In the last week small town life at it’s finest has nearly bitten me in my ass.  Early in the week Peabody, I and a couple friends were at their favorite place to eat in town. Now pre-Peabody I avoided this place like the plague because Coach always said all the girls who used to hate on me went there all the time. However since Peabody, we’ve been there quite a number of times and I’ve never even seen anyone in there I knew. Imagine that, Coach lying… I digress, so we are in there eating dinner and having a good time.  This place is set up with bar seating only and the bar is this long curvy thing that winds in and out all around the place.  Across the bar from me a movement caught my eye and I glanced that way to see who was sitting down and it was…. Coach’s ex-wife. HA!  I wasn’t sure if she knew who I was or not and clearly since the whole break up debacle she and I have had no bad blood but it was still hella awkward. I nugdged Peabody and filled him it and ...

So Sunday I found out my brother and his wife are expecting their first kid.  They’ve apparently been trying for quite a while and though they had a rough patch earlier this year, things are apparently on the up and up with them.  My mom is over the moon. It’s been a good while since we had a baby in the family and quite honestly I think we were all starting to wonder if they were ever going to have kids.  It’s nice though because this is the first big happy family thing that has affected all of us since my dad passed away.  I digress though… After they told me I met them at my mom’s house for a little family celebration time.  I queried if they’d told Duckie and the kids and they hadn’t so I called them up and put them on speaker phone.  I told them “we” had some special news for them and to turn their phone on speaker. They did and my sister in law started talking (without introducing herself) and said “I’m having a baby!” There was a moment...

I feel bad because we are all neglecting the blog so much but I guess that’s what happens when you actually start LIVING life and being happy.  I find it incredibly humorous that all three of us are incredibly happy dating guys we almost passed up for one reason or another. I keep thinking how funny little decisions like that can change your life so dramatically. Today as I was killing time at work I saw this advice and it made me think about my past dating habits – “Every online profile, every random dater, every TV single person all say they want the same thing in a mate: a sense of humor. From men and women. But the pressure to be funny, when mixed with a healthy dose of nerves, means that conversations easily veer into banter. But banter often flips directly into sarcasm and making jokes at your date's expense. Whatever happened to sincerity? Sincerity is wonderful. Sincerity is milk chocolate; sarcasm is a grapefruit. In the past, I was deeply in love with a wo...

I’ve been thankful that Peabody has his kids the same weekends I have mine. It definitely makes dating easier and allows our kids to spend time together too which I think it important.  Example – we’ve done everything from taking them to the fair to playing at home to lunch/movies with them as a group.  I think it’s a good think for the kids to get to know each other and for both Peabody and I to see each other acting as a parent and see how we get along with the other one’s kids.  All that being said, Sunday nights are really hard for him when the kids go back to their mom’s.  He’s only had the kids every other weekend (and a couple weeks in the summer) since they’ve been divorced and he really would like more time with them.  Something he is going to likely go back to court for this spring if his ex doesn’t want to compromise.  When they split, his kids were really little, like 6 months old and 2 years old, and everyone told him it was best for them...

Last night I had one of those random dreams that creeps you out and makes you wake up with your heart pounding and pulse racing.  It took me a while to calm back down and as I lay there my mind was drifting from topic to topic. I was thinking about Peabody and how all we did was hang out at home this weekend and it was a blast.  I was laughing at the fact he brought me a “good” voodoo doll back from New Orleans instead of an “evil” one because he was scared to bring it on the plane.  How my relationship with Peabody is so different from anything I’ve experience before. Thinking about how much things have changed in my life in the last year. Just those sorts of things. Somewhere along the way I started thinking about Duckie and how things were with him.  I like to reminisce that I was very protective of my relationship (till my downfall with Sawyer that is) and I was by and large. I didn’t flirt or go out with single girlfriends.  But then I started thinkin...

Yesterday, Russell and The Fisherman were supposed to meet on a hike, but it is winter in Hawaii and it rains a lot this time of year. Needless to say, no hike occurred. Russell suggested an afternoon of games on the porch drinking, but The Fisherman really wasn't into that idea so I simply invited him for dinner. after much discussion over what would be a suitable activity. He came over at the appointed time with 2 bottles of really nice wine, which made Russell instantly like him. LOL, Josie pointed out he knows his audience! We ate and they talked and talked. I went inside a few times for things and to tend to Chloe and such and they kept chatting away. It was really, really nice! I could tell they both liked each other. As I was leaving last night to go to The Fisherman's, where I pretty much spend every night and rush home in the am before Chloe gets up, I thanked Russell for being nice. He said it wasn't hard and he really liked him. He thanked The Fisherman befor...

Russell is back. I'm excited to have him home. The Fisherman seems less than thrilled b/c it's cutting into my time with him. I absolutely adore The Fisherman. I mean like in a way I see us being together for a very, very long time but his insecurity makes me a little crazy. I don't like this part of being in a relationship. I know it's weird. I know it's hard to wrap your head around if you don't know Russell and I, but it seems like I'm at a crossroads where I'm really going to have to make some decisions and I chose the bf. I've been apathetic about filing for divorce. I hate that kind of paperwork thing, so I was going to let Russell do it. Now that The Fisherman is around though and I finally have a job with benefits, I'm going to look into filing the paperwork myself to give him some peace of mind that I really am his. The Fisherman is coming for Thanksgiving, so I suspect they will meet each other very soon! Stay tuned for how that goes....