Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Last night I got to go out with The Captain for an amazing dinner at a very nice, local restaurant. It was so romantic and I should add in here that I hadn't seen him in almost two weeks. His work schedule has been crazy (as has Russell's) and then when he was off, he got sick and ended up in the hospital for 3 days. So, it was a much needed date night!! After dinner we went back to his place and we literally spent the next 3 1/2 hours having nonstop sex. Well we would stop for about a minute after he came and then start right back. It was awesome!! We decided maybe we should see less of each other (not really but damn it was great reunion sex)! I should mention that I quit seeing Owen right after I started seeing The Captain. Sex with The Captain rivals Owen sex and if I can get that from my boyfriend, no need for Owen. Owen still texts me every other day or so, but I've stood firm. Anyway back to the actual story, I normally get up and leave in the middle of the nig...

So, I wasn't sure if I would or could write this down, but it happened and I need to put it somewhere. I  had an abortion on Monday. Who the hell, gets   accidentally   knocked up by her husband at 39 damn years of age? Me.   Ohh .. I have excuses, my Dad just died, the complete break down of my marriage, birth control just wasn't on my list of concerns. Hubby and I have had sex 3 times in 2 months. I was horny and lazy and he was there. I'm an idiot. But see, this has a weird kind of twist. My Mom had a baby(me) at 39, both my sisters had babies had babies at 39/40. I have sworn since the day after my son was born I would not have another and especially not at 40. Was this irony? I don't know, I just know that when I took that pregnancy test it wasn't even a question.   Hubby has been surprisingly supportive and kind about the whole ordeal, even considering the amount of money he had to pay.   The abortion itself was weird, just an odd situation all around...

I had a really nice date with The Captain tonight! We went to one of my favorite restaurants for happy hour and had a few glasses of wine and then he suggested a sunset walk on the beach, yes please! It was very romantic and our first kiss turned into this one really long amazing one. He has a beard, which I'm not crazy about and thought I would hate kissing him, but it wasn't a big deal. I like him a lot and I'll probably date him for a little while, but he doesn't make my knees weak yet. He's stable and kind and those are some attractive qualities. We have a lot in common. I'm definitely interested in seeing it play out more. He leaves tomorrow night for 5 weeks, so I guess that will be the true test too. He comes home periodically during that time but I don't know how much I'll see him then because I would imagine that's family time, as it should be. -Jules

Well, it seems Jules likes her boat captains! I went out to lunch with a guy yesterday who is a boat captain! If you remember, The Fisherman (or ex husband #2)  was also one. Of course this one says he  is a real one because he captains a real boat and not a tour boat. I like him!! He's got some potential. I'm actually going out for happy hour with him tomorrow too! So he's 41-42, super stable, owns his house (which is a big deal in Hawaii), works a great job making really good money, tall and stocky, and he hates sports except for surfing...all wins. The downside is he is a single dad to a 13 year old boy and because he's gone for 5 weeks at a time with his job, his mom moved here to help with his son and she lives with them!!! He's super sweet and kind of shy, but really easy to talk to and can carry on a conversation without long, awkward pauses. He pulled out my chair at lunch, held doors, and didn't try to paw at me in the parking lot after lunch. He has ...

Josie, a childhood friend of Jules and Miranda joins the blog today. If you're a long time reader you may remember Josie and her errant husband Dave as the schoolyard friends who helped Miranda move not once but twice she since  her divorce. To say the least, life has changed for them... My Dad, my hero died July 16, 2015. He wasn't always perfect but after caring for my Mom relentlessly for 12 years with Alzheimer's he paid his   penitence .   There is no penitence for what my husband did in the days that followed my Dad's death.  July 17th we went shopping for appropriate funeral attire. (after losing my Mom in 2011 I wouldn't keep those things in my house).  I lost my wallet/cellphone, I set it down mindlessly and it was stolen. My husband, (who has been   referred   to as Dave in the past and from now will be here) lost his shit. He yelled at me in front of our son and strangers about being a stupid, wasteful cunt.  There was no "accidents hap...

Today was weird.  I did go out with Guy #3 tonight. I would name him but since I probably won't ever go out with him again, why bother? We went for drinks at a local bar and it was nice, but just nice...no chemistry and he talked about his drama a lot during the date. I'm a social worker all day, I don't want to hear about your shit in my downtime unless we are friends. The super weird part of the day though was Clark. Remember Clark from like 4 years ago? He's still in NC but he messages me on FB today and we started chatting and he told me how he had loved me and would welcome me back in his life and oh yeah, did I want a roommate bc he wants to move back to Hawaii?! For real...I told him I had one, Russell. It was so strange though bc even after all this time, these strange feelings resurfaced. I told him with his ability to control people, he really should be using his powers for good. Where in the world did the universe find him?! -Jules

Well I have finally decided to date again and it's already been fun, funny, and frustrating. I met a really nice guy that I thought had a lot of potential, but I was wrong. He works like all the time and is very self involved, which is fine. I don't need a clinger. He started off as a clinger and then moved into a weird zone. Then we had sex and it was ok. Ya'll know ok sex is never ok in my book...ever. After that I was kind of like "eh", then we did it again and while the sex was slightly (just slightly) better that time, I found out he snored and asked him to leave. I texted him a few days later and said I was out. I can't date someone that the sex is just ok and he snores on top of it. Then I met a cop online and a local boy at that. I've never dated a local guy, by that I mean Hawaiian. I like him but his life seems like it has some drama so I'm proceeding with caution. He has an ex wife and 2 kids.  I was supposed to go out with him Sunday but d...

After 6 weeks of pleading (including him talking to various family members and friends) he wore me down  and I am giving him another chance. He swore things would be different and that getting that big ole kick in the ass woke him up. He's been courting me big time and things have been really different. We will see what happens as time goes on..... Miranda

Peabody keeps asking me for another chance.  He’s saying all the “right” things and promising that everything will be different.  But how many chances does one person get?  How can everything that was wrong just magically change overnight? That’s what I keep asking him back. We all know things, and especially people, don’t just change like that.  And that saying you’ll do something and actually doing it are worlds apart.  He keeps saying he knows he was stupid and complacent, that he was wrapped up in the wrong stuff and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. It just really sucks to finally hear him say the very thing I’ve been wanting to hear all this time. 

One of the best articles I've read in a long time. 6-7-8 was for me http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1603032

The other night I texted Peabody and told him I needed to pick up some stuff from his house (just make up but that stuff is expensive!).  He said he’d leave it on the porch in a less than nice manner.  I went Monday afternoon and picked it up.  Thank heavens he wasn’t there; I felt nauseated the whole way just thinking about having to confront him. Tuesday morning I got a text from him saying that this was not what he wanted and he didn’t want to lose me.  I again told him we were at an impasse and wanted different things and then he called me and for all intents and purposes begged for a second, scratch that, third chance.  He said he’d work on all his issues and he realized how selfish he’s been and that he was committed to making things different if I’d just give him the chance.  I told him saying you’ll do something and doing it are two very different things. Later Tuesday at work I had a delivery.  Flowers.  First time he’s ever ...

Well as things tend to do, life has decided to come crashing in.  After almost three years with Peabody (give or take a couple months) things have bottomed out.  I probably should never have given him another chance but hindsight is 20/20.  He’s not a bad guy, he’s really not.  He’s probably the best guy I’ve dated, but lord is he far from who I need to end up with.  He’s a guy who likes to be a martyr and be crushed under the weight of his baggage.  And that’s so not me.  I’m all for a good short term pity party but after a while that crap just gets old.  Quite honestly after we got back together the first time, everything was really good.  I’m not even sugar coating that, that’s the truth.  It felt like things were on track, I was happy and we were headed somewhere.  Then last year he got laid off and slowly but surely it started falling apart.  If you ever read this blog in the past, you know Miranda has a real ...