Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

I have noticed recently that every single person I know my age (ish) is in one of two boats. They either are in little kid survival mode or they are in a relationship and unhappy as fuck. I mean literally everyone, whether they are fully ready to admit it or not. The ones in so called happy relationships are irritated with their significant others and complain about it constantly to others, yet do nothing to change it. The ones in admittedly unhappy relationships are making serious plans to get out. It's crazy. I don't know if it's one of those things going on with the universe right now or if our generation is simply ill  equipped to manage relationships or maybe it's just the people I know? Me? I'm cruising...living with my kid, my BFF (who is a pain right now bc he took a job he hates and is miserable but this too shall pass), and still fucking Owen every week with lots of sexting and playing in between. I don't have anyone to worry about right now but mysel...

So my life has done an epic 360, Russell and I are moving back in together next weekend. As I said in my previous post, just as roommates, but it ended up being harder for me to swallow than I had thought it would be. I feel like it is a huge regression for both of us, but I feel like it will be such a good thing for Chloe. The regression part comes from I feel like if I'm doing his thing again I should kinda stick with it until she graduates. I hate commitment in any form, so this is hard for me. It is also unrealistic given my personality to think I'm going to resume this living arrangement and then just coexist in the same house for the next 7 years, but I don't know. It feels big. I may be making a mountain out of a mole hill. I feel like I would suck on an epic level as a mom though if I move back in with her dad, meet a guy a few years down the line, and move us out. I think it would make her feel like a child of divorce all over again. She knows we aren't back to...

Josie just texted me and said she couldn't believe I have been home alone for over a week and nothing blog worthy has happened. Life has gotten weird. I think I'm processing. Russell moved away in February for a new job. He got fired from said job last week in the biggest case of self sabotage ever because he missed us and Hawaii. So, he is moving back and in with Chloe and I. It is strictly a roommate situation with my BFF, but it's admittedly a little weird, even for me. They come home mid-July. I am talking to The Chilean again, minimally. I like him, but I don't think we are ever meant to be anything more than friends. I like talking to him though, he's a good friend. He told me the other night he thinks The Fisherman is gay. If you read this, I hope you know he's not the first person to mention this and perhaps it's why you are so angry and have now had three wives, just saying. No divorce papers have magically appeared from his "attorney" ...

Well if it wasn't affirmed before today, I married an idiot (The Fisherman) the second time. Good lord I had pet rocks as a child that were smarter, no kidding.  I have also discovered that he's a criminal and a liar. He told me he went to FSU, um he didn't. According to the newspaper article about his first marriage, he went to the University of Alaska. He also failed to mention the multiple fishing charges that were filed against him in 2010 in that state too. It seems my mama had googled him and when I got curious and did the same, I found out about the college lie.  Lesson learned, google people before marrying them!! So in other news, it seems I must have his address to file divorce papers. I emailed him today to ask for it and hilarity ensued. First he told me I had to talk to his Atty to get it, uh ok you make about half of what I do and you have any atty? Then he told me I was violating the tro, I'm not. The cops told me that night he violated it that I can con...

Remember Gavin? Well I managed to find him in a different person but not really... So, I am staying with a friend for a few weeks and she has a neighbor who moved into her building a few doors down and has been hanging out with her.  We all went out Memorial Day to this community event and before and after drank copious amounts of wine and cocktails. I probably had two bottles of wine, if not more. Point being, I'm blaming this one on the alcohol, lol. We hang out and finally my friend, Polly, tells me that this guy wants to sleep with me, in front of the guy. He took that as his cue to start kissing me and he was a good kisser so it went from there into him playing with me and finally me going back to his apartment (by that I mean some guy's apartment that his brother takes care of). We fuck in his brother's bed, I later find out because he sleeps on the couch. His brother was quite unimpressed with my ability to squirt and I felt bad for him once I realized it was in fac...

So Jules is BACK! The story doesn't have a happy ending, but Chloe and I are safe and that's all the matters. I missed a lot of red flags with The Fisherman, I mean a lot. Hindsight is 20/20, love is tunnel vision. I knew early on that he had anger issues, but he was willing to admit it and actually went to see a therapist once early on in our relationship, but that faded quickly and the anger became rage. In February 2013, he lost his fishing job. It was a devastating turn for him that he didn't do well through, his confidence was shot. He became financially dependent on me and I allowed it. I was in love and thought I was going to marry him. In April, my dad passed away. It was a really horrible, sad, tough time and he did his best to get me through it. Again in hindsight, I mostly got myself through it. Anyway, we were set to get married that September despite all the chaos. Right before our wedding, like 3-4 weeks before we had the first of three major fights. We foug...

Here we are amost five months later. Jules is happily married and coping with Russell leaving the island. Gywn is bursting with pregnancy - shes having a boy! -and counting down the days till her hubby comes home. And Miranda, well Miranda is...happy. As strange of an emotion as she can imagine, Miranda is happy. Peabody has pulled out all the stops and completely committed himself to her. It's about damn time lol. Maybe fairy tales can cone true after all? Fate has taught Miranda to be cautious but she can't help feeling cautiously optimistic at the moment.