Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Man looking back at that last post sucks.   Four years and some months later I’m sitting at the other end of the infidelity matrix.   Yep, a mere 15 months after Peabody and I got married - he started having an affair that turned into 18 months of hell with him making me think I was crazy, me being forced to hang out with what was his “friend” and HER husband (yes she was married as well), him becoming verbally and mentally abusive and finally, finally him getting busted, fessed up to it and then him going INSANE when I told him I wouldn’t forgive him.   The story is long and complicated and painful.   The full story will come eventually. I cried more in those 18 months than I have in my whole life combined.   I fought for him and for the relationship – even when he was at his most abusive.   But ultimately I knew I would never forgive him or trust him again, and I deserve a hell of a lot better life than that.   So I left his sorry ass.   O...

Every once in a while fairytales, albeit sometimes long twisting ones, come true. Miranda and Peabody tied the knot. Thank you for the therapy and laughs. Farewell friends.

This is always a popular theme this time of year, but I have taken it by the balls and made it my mantra for 2016! Things with The Captain were going great until he pushed me to finally file my divorce with the Fisherman. I filed last week and he got really squirrelly and said he thought we should put our relationship on hold until it was finalized. Um, what? I did what you asked and now because things might be a little rough (and by that I mean I may have to appear before a judge instead of an uncontested divorce, but whatever), you run? The fuck? No thanks...no need to hold because I'm out. The Captain was an ex-Navy seal. They aren't supposed to be pussies, what happened? By the way, I'd like to add he really manned up and did this via text too. I have zero respect for him now. So out with the old, except for Owen. Owen is like a warm fuzzy blanket you wrap up in and get fucked into oblivion. I promptly texted him and took him out of holding and apologized for our brea...

Last night I got to go out with The Captain for an amazing dinner at a very nice, local restaurant. It was so romantic and I should add in here that I hadn't seen him in almost two weeks. His work schedule has been crazy (as has Russell's) and then when he was off, he got sick and ended up in the hospital for 3 days. So, it was a much needed date night!! After dinner we went back to his place and we literally spent the next 3 1/2 hours having nonstop sex. Well we would stop for about a minute after he came and then start right back. It was awesome!! We decided maybe we should see less of each other (not really but damn it was great reunion sex)! I should mention that I quit seeing Owen right after I started seeing The Captain. Sex with The Captain rivals Owen sex and if I can get that from my boyfriend, no need for Owen. Owen still texts me every other day or so, but I've stood firm. Anyway back to the actual story, I normally get up and leave in the middle of the nig...

So, I wasn't sure if I would or could write this down, but it happened and I need to put it somewhere. I  had an abortion on Monday. Who the hell, gets   accidentally   knocked up by her husband at 39 damn years of age? Me.   Ohh .. I have excuses, my Dad just died, the complete break down of my marriage, birth control just wasn't on my list of concerns. Hubby and I have had sex 3 times in 2 months. I was horny and lazy and he was there. I'm an idiot. But see, this has a weird kind of twist. My Mom had a baby(me) at 39, both my sisters had babies had babies at 39/40. I have sworn since the day after my son was born I would not have another and especially not at 40. Was this irony? I don't know, I just know that when I took that pregnancy test it wasn't even a question.   Hubby has been surprisingly supportive and kind about the whole ordeal, even considering the amount of money he had to pay.   The abortion itself was weird, just an odd situation all around...

I had a really nice date with The Captain tonight! We went to one of my favorite restaurants for happy hour and had a few glasses of wine and then he suggested a sunset walk on the beach, yes please! It was very romantic and our first kiss turned into this one really long amazing one. He has a beard, which I'm not crazy about and thought I would hate kissing him, but it wasn't a big deal. I like him a lot and I'll probably date him for a little while, but he doesn't make my knees weak yet. He's stable and kind and those are some attractive qualities. We have a lot in common. I'm definitely interested in seeing it play out more. He leaves tomorrow night for 5 weeks, so I guess that will be the true test too. He comes home periodically during that time but I don't know how much I'll see him then because I would imagine that's family time, as it should be. -Jules

Well, it seems Jules likes her boat captains! I went out to lunch with a guy yesterday who is a boat captain! If you remember, The Fisherman (or ex husband #2)  was also one. Of course this one says he  is a real one because he captains a real boat and not a tour boat. I like him!! He's got some potential. I'm actually going out for happy hour with him tomorrow too! So he's 41-42, super stable, owns his house (which is a big deal in Hawaii), works a great job making really good money, tall and stocky, and he hates sports except for surfing...all wins. The downside is he is a single dad to a 13 year old boy and because he's gone for 5 weeks at a time with his job, his mom moved here to help with his son and she lives with them!!! He's super sweet and kind of shy, but really easy to talk to and can carry on a conversation without long, awkward pauses. He pulled out my chair at lunch, held doors, and didn't try to paw at me in the parking lot after lunch. He has ...