Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Depending on who you talk to, there are several levels of this but the big 4 are pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, and action. While I have made some HUGE life choices lately, I'm still falling pretty squarely into the preparation phase. November was hard core housekeeping month. I am an enabler. I find tough love very hard, so I usually avoid it. But last month,  I rid my life of the addicts that were in it. I finally got rid of Gavin. I was even aware enough at the time to do it in a manner that I knew would make it a point of no return. By telling his gf about us and by telling Russell about his cocaine use (and mine with him), I firmed up my decision to leave him by making him angry at me and by making sure that Russell knew the deal so that if I did relapse and miss him, I had a fail safe in that I know he would flip and totally question my ability to parent Chloe while having someone like him in my life. I knew what I was doing when I did it and I'm glad I ...

So as I’ve re-entered the dating pool and am doing my best to not become a power dater again, I have of course been doing a lot of analyzing of behaviors – mine and others. We already know I’m trying to change my dating habits so that I’m attracting and dating fully-functioning adults and not broken, battered boys. But I’m thinking maybe I need to retrain my brain to not feel awkward at best or repelled at worst when a guy is “too nice” or says things that are “sweet.” Example. Besides the Grown Up, there’s another guy I’ve been talking to for a few days both via text and on the phone. We haven’t met in person yet though we have a date planned for next week so I’m going to spare you the details until I know he’s worth it. But he’s gonna have one of my favorite blog nicknames ever – Jethro. HA! Not because he’s a redneck or anything but that’s apparently the nickname he got in the marines and it’s too funny not to use. So today he sent me a good morning text (awww), we exchanged 2-3 ...

Pre-Date I seem to have a lunch date with an actual grown up today. The Grown up is 38, 6’3, brown hair with just a touch of gray, brown eyes, mortgage broker, has a place of his own, college educated, no kids, no ex wives, grew up in this area, and is close to his family. No apparent weird hobbies or past times. We even talked on the phone for an hour last night and never ran out of things to say. He hasn’t crossed any lines saying anything inappropriate or suggestive in the least and he also hasn’t gone overboard making me think he’s in love already. The girls at my office ruled him as cute but I think he’s one of those people that could go either way in person. Either you find them more attractive or less attractive. Have I found a chupabracabra? Post-Date The jury is still out. He’s definitely not a chupabracabra – which would be the total package. He’s got the brains, the conversation, the manners, all the accoutrements that grown ups should have but honestly, I’m just not su...

We are trying something new and off our usual game today! Recently, Jules discovered her love affair with cooking, but she has always been a tasty baker and loves to whip up yummy goodness in the kitchen. This recipe has been tried and true among many men in her life. Check out A Reluctant Bitch's blog for more tasty treats. Thank you Southern Living for this recipe and thank you  Hedone for posting the link to this holiday fun! CHAI TEA EGGNOG COOKIES Ingredients 1  chai tea bag 1  (17.5-oz.) package sugar cookie mix 1/2 cup   melted butter   1  large egg   4 tablespoons   eggnog, divided   Parchment paper Cinnamon sugar 1 cup   powdered sugar 1/2 teaspoon   freshly grated nutmeg Preparation 1. Preheat oven to 350°. Remove tea leaves from tea bag; discard bag. 2. Stir together tea leaves, cookie mix, butter, egg, and 2 Tbsp. eggnog until well blended. 3. Drop dough by tablespoonfuls onto parchment paper-lined bakin...

1. If you were a car, which one would you be? What are some of your best features?   Well, I'd like to be a  Maserati . My wishful thinking new husband is Roddy White from the Atlanta Falcons and he drives a white one. He and Chloe snapped a super cute pic 2 weekends ago and I'm sure he's going to be her 2nd daddy now. Anyway, it's sleek, hot, and fast...sums Jules up (well kinda minus the sleek part...let's substitute sexy). - Jules Oh good lord, I have to imagine myself as a car now?  I have no clue. I'm so not a car person. - Miranda 2. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?   In the middle of the room....duh! - Jules I don't think you could hide an elephant.  I'd probably just give it free roam, paint it pink, and make everyone think they were drunk and imagining it. - Miranda 3. Finish this sentence: Tomorrow I absolutely refuse to….   Put up with any bullshit. Although, my life has been blissfully drama free as of late (knock woo...

So after my failed date on Saturday I was doing a little shopping and a thought popped into my head. I keep attracting the same version of the same guy. Not exactly a newsflash but stay with me here. Even if I go way back to some of the first guys I dated (Sawyer, Lawyer Boy, Motorcycle Man, etc) or more current guys (Coach, the Ginger, SoCo, Saturday date boy) they are all guys who have made a lot of bad choices in their lives but want their lives to be different. They just either don’t know how to “fix” their lives or they aren’t capable of doing it on their own. By and large they are not bad guys by any means but they are just messed up (i.e. emotional gimps). Even Duckie falls into this category by and large. I’m a “fixer” by nature so these guys are subconsciously attracted to me for my ability or at least my willingness to attempt to “fix” them. But I don’t want to fix anyone anymore. I’m so over that. I’ve learned that the hard way through my relationship with Coach and I’m no...

Saturday I agreed to go to lunch with a new guy I met on PoF.   He’s 32 (meow makes me feel a tad cougarish), a welder, 6’5, and never been married.   Going in to the date I knew he had a couple kids and was a big time country boy (and yes Gwyn he owns multiple guns and offered to take me shooting. I declined).   Randomly he told me a girl I went to high school with is his kid’s aunt.   Small world. We’d been texting for a few days and he seemed like a fun guy.   My hopes were ever so slightly elevated figuring he’d be a fun Mr. Right Now but certainly not a Mr. Right.   So we meet up for lunch and he pulls up in the biggest raised redneck bronco I’ve ever seen.   I liked it!   What can I say, yall know I like the country boys.   He was dressed just fine and he strolled right over and gave me a big hug.   We chatted for a moment and then went in the restaurant where he opened the doors, pulled out my chair, and honestly had great man...