Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

Well it was another banner freaking Friday night thanks to Coach.  I had another Girls Night Out with D, a sweet country friend of mine who happens to be Coach’s best friend’s girlfriend.  Thursday Coach texted me to say he was going to come home so I had a good inkling that something was going to go down.  I should have trusted my instincts and cancelled Girls Night Out. So D comes over to my apartment to get ready and we head out to a terribly tacky bar that is attached to a bowling alley.  It sounds much worse than it is really but they always have good bands and if you can get over the pervasive smell of bowling shoes, it’s really quite fun.  So we’re having a good time hanging out, flirting with very inappropriate boys (including one who does tattoos in his kitchen, but only when he’s sober lol) and Coach starts texting me.  He’s telling me how his BFF is drunk like he’s never seen and that he’s taking him home, it’s about 10:30 at this point.  ...

Gavin called me tonight around 11:30pm. I've been sick all week and I was laying in bed almost asleep. I'd had a few glasses of wine, a Xanax, and a Nightquil b/c I'm a firm believer in mixing my drugs. ;) Anyway, he asked if he could cum see me. I said Yes (of course), but forewarned him that I was on quite a cocktail and wasn't planning to be awake very long at all. Then he calls back about 10 minutes later to tell me that his bike ran out of gas and he was walking. He said he was going to try to hitch a ride this way and asked if I'd bring him back after. I agreed, despite my exhaustion, because options were limited. As it turns out, hitchhiking at that hour on the North Shore is a bit challenging due to the lack of traffic...so I ended up having to go get him too. He was close enough, so it was no big deal. I pulled up and he said "I'll drive". I asked if he was afraid for me to based on the substances flowing and he said "No, not at all b...

I hate    August (and Mercury). Things are weird and not good weird, just weird-weird.    Last night, Gavin did not come back over or even call for that matter.    I was kinda pissed about it, but I’ve also just moved into the whatever phase of things. I’m starting to think he’s a tool. Whatever happens, happens. I have no idea what I want and the emotional retard, commitment freak in me is feeling like I might drown if he says “love you, bye” one more time on the phone…maybe I’m the tool. Most women would probably be happy that after a declaration of feelings on my part, he’s started saying that to me…but clearly, I’m not most women. It wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but I guess that’s a lesson in being careful what you ask for because you just might get it. Back to last night, I invited my neighbor over for dinner (mostly because I wanted to smoke) and we were talking and drinking and yes, smoking. He told me that he’s moving at the end of the mont...

I'm irritated today. I actually know that it's me and not them (ok mostly me, somewhat them), but I feel a little like taking it out on them. I don't think I was finished sorting things out in my head with regards to Gavin just yet. Owen was supposed to be on car pool duty and come see me this morning. His wife changed the plans and he couldn't get out. I really was looking forward to seeing him and I really hate that she controls when I get laid. As I put on FB, I understand that's the ails of fucking a married man, but I was still irritated by it today. Gavin came home late last night. He called me on the way home from the airport and said he wanted to come see me today. He called a little while ago and said he was coming over this afternoon. I was out doing things with Chloe and said I'd be home in about 20 minutes. By the way, he dropped another "Love you, bye" at the end of our phone call. I idiotically replied "Ok, whatever...bye". ...

I am completely and 100% LOVING this show. I mean loving it. It's late 50s-early 60s, sexist, stereotypical, NYC ad execs and it's fucking awesome. I am convinced that I have missed my era. Anyway, I heard a line tonight while engrossed in Season 1 between Donald Draper and his mistress. She says to him "I love being your fantasy". That is exactly how I feel about Owen. I love being his fantasy. I love knowing that he thinks about me and that he masturbates to memories of fucking me or pictures I send him. I love having someone be so completely sexually attracted to me that he frequently contacts me just  to let me know that he's thinking about me. I love being the happy place for him right now and making him feel good and building him up. It's the social worker in me, but since I found out how much she tears him down, I've worked really hard to be super positive and build him up. I thought about him last night in class. Yes, it was because he sent me th...

I came across an article in the NY Times about a 'workshop' of sorts that was recently held to teach teenagers how to break up with their bf/gf in a healthy way. Yes, I realize this article is about teaching children how to break up but judging from what I read on the blogosphere and from personal experience, us adults could use a little help in this arena too. Here's a link to the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/07/magazine/teaching-kids-how-to-break-up-nicely.html?_r=1 Another interesting article I found this morning is along the same lines as the one above but deals with friendship breakups. Although we haven't posted about it, both Miranda and I have been talking (and dealing with) a lot about the pressure we feel, as women, to be bffs with every other female we are introduced to. It's like we are expected to befriend all the women we meet regardless of if they are actually 'our type' of friend. There have been several times over the past coupl...

1. You have been separated from your significant other for six months. An attractive, attentive neighbor has paid you flattering attention. It is obvious he/she wishes to take the relationship further. Do you: a. Dismiss him/her, you’re in a committed relationship. b. Continue to flirt, but go no further. c. Fantasize about him/her, but take care of your sexual needs solo. d. Let the affair become physical. By separated I'm guessing they mean distance wise.  I would do B/C at most. Though honestly after the whole Sawyer thing I may flirt a bit but even then I'd probably dismiss him because I don't want to be a cheater.  - Miranda Possibly B and/or C. Pointless flirting isn't something I do much of but if I wasn't feeling satisfied or wanted by my boyfriend/husband then I might be more inclined to flirt purely for the ego boost. Same goes for the fantasizing - you know good old Gwyn isn't much for fantasies and daydreams but if I was feeling unsatisfied in...