Dating After 40: Do Any of Us Really Know What We Are Doing?

1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone? I went to bed at 1am and yes, blissfully I was alone. I am not a fan of sleeping with people. I love to fuck them, but I don't love sleeping with them. - Jules   About 11:45. Coach and I did dinner and saw the Hangover 2 after spending the whole day at the pool. It was totally domestic and I loved every minute of it! - Miranda I was counting sheep by 11:15pm, which is actually pretty late for me. I was alone unless you count my cat. I had a peaceful sleep knowing that my house has been rented and I'll be in Hawaii by September!!! -Gwyn 2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?   Well, yesterday as I was driving around Waimea Bay I thought about how nice it would be to have a sailboat with a stand-up paddle board out on the water. Short of that, I'd love a beach house here on the North Shore or enough money to buy one. - Jules   Hmmmm realistically a paid ticket to Hawaii in September.  Ideally a ho

Well, Gavin has landed himself firmly on the Jules shit list and that's not a happy place to be, as he will find out tomorrow. I am super pissed off at him. First of all, he came over to my house tonight high while Russell and Chloe were still up. That was his first error of the night. His second error came in his insistence to watch porn and my stubbornness of being over it. Finally his third error came when he just abruptly left without getting me off and refused to come back despite my phone call advising that this was his best option. I was so pissed. If you're going to come to my house high and act stupid all night in front of my family, the very least you can do is make me cum and if you're not...FUCK YOU. He leaves Wednesday for Maui and I leave Thursday for NC. While I'm in NC, he leaves for NJ supposedly until the end of the month. I think he needs to take that time to sit on himself and think about what an idiot he is and only when he's ready to admit and

Today was a day of recovery and discovery. Life is hilarious around here sometimes. So, Gavin called and I did in fact go up to the track with lunch and beer. I arrived just as his son was racing and watched from the sidelines for a little bit before joining him on the track. He's so cute when he's in Daddy mode. We hung out for a while and I walked around trying to find Chloe to no avail. He drove me all over the place looking for places where they might be camping and at one point we hiked into this amazing spot where you could look out down the mountain we were on and over the ocean. I sat there staring at the water for a while and he laid in the pine needles and took a 30 minute cat nap. It seems last night wore him out! I was super impressed that he got up and took his kid racing at 7am because there is no way, no how I would have made it. I left him about 3pm and ran some errands and then went to dinner with the Nice Guy from a few weeks ago. I decided that he is a real

Yesterday was one of those amazing and very strange days. It's days like that one that are so surreal sometimes it's hard to believe that this is my life. I would never have imagined 4 years ago when I was stuck in suburban working mom mode that this would be how things turned out in just a few, short years. This is a super long post, but stay with me because it was a crazy day. Friday afternoon I start getting some steamy sexts from Owen talking about how amazing Tuesday was and how hard he was at work just thinking about it. (It really was an awesome time. One of the top 5!) I told him how much I loved it too and that I couldn't wait to see him again. I mentioned that I'm leaving Thursday to come home to NC for 10 days and I hoped he could arrange some time to fuck again before Tuesday (Tuesday and Wednesday I'm with Chloe before she leaves and I'm freaking out about the time away from her all summer) He said that he might be able to get away that evening, b

My bff has the most amazing child in the universe (next to Chloe). I adore this kid. I've known her since she was a teeny tiny toddler and I've loved her even when I hated kids. She's probably the very reason I even have Chloe...I learned how great they can be from watching her grow up. Her mom and I have been bffs since I was 18. My goddaughter just turned 18 and has apparently hit a bit of a rebellious streak after many years of perfection. Last week, she put a post on FB about how her mom found out about her new tattoo and wasn't happy (although, I'd like to point out the bff has one on her ass). The goddaugther's tat is on her hip and is totally coverable in all types of scenarios. I suggested that maybe we ease up on the ink because gravity tends to not be kind as we age and what's hot now at 18, may or may not be hot when she's 50. Thanks to my mother's views on tats, I've never so much as even thought about getting one. This was drilled

I have got to share a funny story with you all that Miranda and I have been dying over for the past two days. So I’ve told you all about Chinless Wonder , the system administrator at my workplace who has an annoyingly intense crush on me. In the past 2 weeks he’s probably asked me out no less than 10 times (lunch, dinner, rollerblading, drinks, etc.) and I’ve said no every single time. Funny sidenote: last week I was literally drowning in work and working 12-15 hour days without taking lunch breaks or really even leaving my desk. On Wednesday, Chinless Wonder started instant messaging me at work (we have an internal message system, I did NOT give him my Yahoo chat name!) asking me if I wanted to get dinner and/or drinks when I finished up. After declining his offer multiple times (every time I said no he would change up the offer a little to try and get me to say yes) I finally typed, “Listen, if you want to know what I could really use right now it’s a Newport and a Coke.” This i

Today was an awesome Tuesday of epic proportions!  I woke up early and took Chloe to school and then Russell and I went to get our oil changed. (It gets better.) We had a lovely breakfast at Starbucks and then strolled around Costco and decided that we're joining the masses. It was just a nice morning hanging out. We talked about things we're going to do this summer while Chloe is in NC and again I say, I'm so happy we're in such a good place. Yesterday morning, he brought me coffee in bed and then bought me a late Mother's Day present of a mani-pedi. Things are just nice here on that front.  While I was in Costco, I was sexting with Owen about hooking up at lunch. Then the phone calls started....Gavin called me 5 times in the span of 45 minutes. I called him on the way home and we were talking and he asked where I'd been. I told him and he was all like "I should be changing your oil." I said, "Yes, you should but since I asked you to a month ago

Is it just me or has today’s modern man really fallen off of his game? We’ve already blogged about men being big babies and I’m about up to here with men who expect to be pursued by women but I’ve started to notice another trend in today’s men – they have no game and they are lazy as hell when it comes to pursuing a woman. I guess that’s what we get for sleeping with them before they make any effort….. I’ve set up another POF profile for Hawaii and my inbox is inundated with the lamest messages from guys I’ve ever seen. The top three messages I get on any given day are “Hi.”, “Hi, I’m Bob.” and “Hi let me know if you want to chat.” Come on guys seriously? Is that the best you’ve got? I know it must get hard being shot down all the time so I can understand not wanting to put too much effort into something that has a high probability of not working out, but how hard is it to read my profile and come up with at least one halfway intelligent question to ask me? If you are too lazy to

A couple weeks ago Gwyn and I had a funny conversation on none other than penises.  So I've taken it upon myself to create our own TMI Tuesday list of penis related questions.  Enjoy! - Miranda What’s more important – length or width? If I have to pick one I'm always going to go for a fattie.  - Miranda OMG I don't want to pick one...I guess length. - Jules For me personally, I'd probably go with length - as long as it's of at least average thickness I'm usually fine. But if it was short I don't think there's much I could do with that. This is a hard question! -Gwyn Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle? Yes! The summer between high school and college I tried to hook up with a friend of a friend.  As if doing it on the floor of her living room while she was passed out on the couch wasn't skanky enough, we played for a little bit and my relatively inexperienced self wondered why he wasn't whipping it out and wanting me to g

First of all, I have some super funny Sunday sacrilege for you guys, though it's Monday already in the rest of the US...whatever. Owen emailed me this link today and I laughed until I was almost in tears. This kind of thing always puts me in stitches. http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/12/unintentionally-sexual-church-signs Owen is dying to see me. He told me today that the lockdown is getting old and his cock is restless. Mind you, it's only been a week and a day since I saw him last. He's going to try to get away on Tuesday for some much needed playtime. Josie texted me today to tell me that she thinks Gavin has been acting all weird and jealous lately because he's worried I'll replace him over the summer. I concurred and told her that I had in fact told him I was looking for his summer replacement recently. Whoops!! I didn't really think it would engender a lot of jealousy within him, but clearly I didn't think it through all the way. In hindsight, I

Yikes how did a week go by with out Miranda blogging?  Oh I know - a bat shit crazy work schedule followed by an amazing and much needed vacation with Coach! A quick week in review, last Saturday we did Ladybug’s birthday.  Duckie’s family came this time and it was actually really nice and very much normal, well as normal as we ever get around here.  Even his Dad acknowledged my presence!  Sawyer of all people came with his son and it was so weird to be in the house I used to live in and cheat with Sawyer in!  He seemed like he wanted to talk to me but I tried to keep my distance. Especially since I’d been recently thinking about our relationship.  I want to stay far far away from his type of temptation. Sunday I had an inkling based on Duckie’s behavior that he might have a new girl and it’s proven to be true.  I don’t know much about her but I hope she’s a whole lot less crazy than the last one! Oh and Gwyn swears this girl looks just like me.  So weird! There wasn’t much going on

And I won't tell you no lies... I'm pleased to report my good decision making continued, but the universe aided it. Gavin came over tonight like I'd told him to yesterday. I was actually pretty wiped out from my night last night. When he saw me laying on the bed, he asked why I was so tired. I told him I'd hung out with the neighbor last night and his first question was "Are you fucking him too?". Jesus...I do not like being questioned about what I'm doing when he's not around. I told him that I was not (because I didn't last night and that wasn't a lie). I did not tell him that I already had because that would have just come back later as he seems to be developing some jealousy issues.  In his next breath, he tells me that he was sitting in a hot tub with several naked chicks last night, but didn't fuck any of them since the gf was there. Dude, you don't get to be jealous of my actions and hookups when you have a gf and because I know

This almost never happens...I'm excellent at making questionable choices, especially when I've been drinking for hours and then if you add pot into the mix...well, it's typically the recipe for a wtf kind of morning the next day. Yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, Gavin came over and we played around some before I went to get Chloe. Then we started drinking...around 4pm. He left around 6pm and I started dinner. I decided to invite our neighbor for dinner b/c he lives alone and usually if we feed him, he gets us high. The evening went as planned. We ate (Jules has gone vegetarian) vegetarian chili and I was toasted. Chloe went to bed and Russell said he was too. He declined smoking with us, for reasons I don't know...weird. The neighbor and I went next door to his house to smoke. He always has good shit and I was high before I knew it. We laughed and talked and I noticed flirting. I tried to process what I wanted to do with that. He's the neighbor that

That pretty much sums up my day on all levels...I could leave it at this, but I'll give you guys some background. Basically, I just need to unload on why today sucked ass. Today started with my MIL icing my divorce cake...by this I mean, not making me one iota teeny bit sad that I'm out of that crazy family soon. She sucks as a human, on a very basic level. I feel really sorry for Russell. Here's the deal. A few weeks ago she told us that she wanted to spend some time with Chloe over the summer while Chloe is home. We agreed and told her to arrange it with my mom. It never, ever occurred to us that she would want her more than a week because my MIL is a selfish cunt and doesn't really like kids. As it turns out, she wanted her for 3 weeks. Um, no. Here's why... 1. Chloe triple loves my family and that's who she is going home to see. 2. We  triple hate her (my MIL's) new husband and do NOT want our child exposed to him. 3. She makes zero effort to see Ru

Today's TMI proudly stolen from Hedone at the Pleasure Principle amongst many others. Gwyn's swamped with work so you'll have to be entertained with Jules and Miranda for today.  And say a prayer that Gwyn doesn't go postal and start shooting up the workplace. Or at least say a prayer that she gives Miranda fair warning before she does so Miranda can hide under her desk... What does your online profile name mean? I am a self professed Sex and the City fan. Love, love, loved it then, now and always will.  I always figured I was a toss up between Miranda and Carrie. Thus, Miranda became my blog name. - Miranda I love the show, Cougar Town and since I have some cougar like tendencies...it just seemed like Jules was a good pseudo-name. - Jules How did you decide on the title of your blog? When Jules and I decided to start this thing as a means to keep in touch with each other and a few close friends (shout out to Josie and ShortGirl!), we kicked around a bunch of diffe

This move started off as not causing any differences in my Gavin time since he was literally at the house everyday last week until Thursday. I don't know why it took them 73 years to move one household of stuff, but it seemed to and that was cool because he was still close. Since then, I hadn't seen him until today and I realized this morning that I kinda missed him. As I put on FB, no this does not mean I'm in love with him...it just means I have to adjust to the new norm of him not being 3 houses down and less convenient access. It seems he felt my neediness and today he called me this afternoon to see what I was doing. He's continued to call everyday, so rest assured the stalking continues...lol. He's just telecommuting now. He asked if he could come by and do a few things and I agreed. I was in the midst of cleaning my house like my mama is coming (which she isn't until July) and so I was disgusting and Chloe was hanging out. We sat on the porch and had a

It was finally sunny here today and I piled Chloe and 3 of the neighbor kids into the car and took them to the beach. We tried to go to a super kid friendly beach, but there was no parking so we ended up at the beach right across the street from Damien's house. When I left the beach today, he was pulling out of his driveway and stopped to get out for something. He caught sight of me, waved, and gave me this really big grin. It was super strange. I'm still pissed about the whole Gavin's gf thing with him, so I kind of half smiled and half waved...asshole. It seemed better than flipping him off. As I got to the beach, Gavin called and just wanted to see what I was doing and chit chat. Very randomly and completely off topic, he whips out this sentence "It's really nice to just be fucking one person right now". I laughed and said "Um, what about your gf?" since I had just fucked him the other day and assumed he was not referring to me. He said she has

Last night I was randomly thinking about Sawyer and what my relationship with him was really like.   I was thinking about him because last night was also the start of my summer bartending duties and it made me think about all the crazy stuff I was doing last summer.   Dating multiple guys at one time, being the mayor of whore-town, essentially having the time of my life.   And Sawyer was a big part of that.   At this point last year, I was still seeing him though things were beginning to slow down. For newer readers who don’t want to go back and figure out who he is, Sawyer is the guy I had an affair with at the end of my marriage.   He was my next-door neighbor who was/is unhappily married but has no intentions of leaving his wife.   We got involved right after my dad died, took a whole lot of stupid chances, and our relationship got intense when he started mind fucking me talking about feelings.   I ended my marriage, moved out, and we continued to see each other for several mont